


Never Stop

by mistressterably



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:24:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 48,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistressterably/pseuds/mistressterably
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The axe falls on Malcolm. Looking to move on, Malcolm pulls up his roots and moves to New York. There he finds a new life and a new love. But life is never easy for Malcolm. The same goes for his love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prequel - Downfall

The internal report landed on Julius’ desk. Opening the envelope, he slid it out and settled down for a long read. Whispers he had heard around the office had prompted him to have an investigation started. It wasn’t an official one though. Just a sniffing around to see how much was behind it. As he read over the report he’d been given, his brows furrowed. By the time he got to the end of it, he was seething. The conclusion of the report was that there had been definite misreporting of the facts going on. If it hadn’t been for the disputes over the information leak regarding the transit funding, he wouldn’t be in the situation he was in. 

No specific persons though. That was the frustrating part for Julius. If there’d been a low level aide who it could all be traced back to it would be easy. Just a simple word with them, a quick reshuffle and then the person would be out of the office and out of national politics for some time. But he hadn’t been given that escape route. No, not this time. This time, the only person any hint of wrongdoing was pointing to was the great Malcolm Tucker. Head of Media and Communications. The one man who held so many to task and shaped them all to the benefit of the Party to the point where they had been in power for the past nine years without interruption. 

Julius flipped through the report, hoping he had missed something but no matter how many times he scanned the pages, it was just Malcolm’s name that came up. Even that was vague. A few emails that hinted at the policies but nothing of a concrete nature. The one annoying thing out of the report was that it appeared that Malcolm’s main rival for the position of Head of Media and Communication was Steve Fleming. And it was Steve Fleming who had been the recipient of those emails from Malcolm with his replies back to Malcolm shutting Malcolm’s ideas down. 

With a deep sigh, Julius slipped the report back into the envelope and headed from his office. He would have to speak to the PM about this matter. Behind closed doors and with only the two of them within hearing. An hour later, the decision had been made. It was going to be Julius who informed Malcolm. This would not be easy. 

The first step was to inform security. Malcolm’s pass was disabled and two guards hovered near Malcolm’s office as Julius made his way there. 

The second step was to have Sam, Malcolm’s PA, drawn away by the PM’s secretary calling her into a meeting. 

The third step was to clean out Malcolm’s desk. Once Sam was away from her desk, Julius was entering Malcolm’s office and, with a banker’s box at the ready. Anything that was Malcolm’s personal property was placed in the box. 

The final step was to wait for Malcolm to arrive at his office. Julius already knew that the Scotsman was due to return to his office in the next few minutes. The decision was to not allow Malcolm into his office. Instead, Julius placed the box with his possessions on Sam’s desk and once Malcolm rounded the corner of the hall to reach his office, the security guards placed themselves on either side of Malcolm.

Surprised, ‘What the fuck is going on Julius.’

‘The transit policy leaks have been traced back to you, Malcolm.’

‘That’s just fucking bullshit! You know it is, Julius. Get your hands off me!’ He barked at the security but they only tightened their grips on his arms. 

‘Resign immediately without notice or it may get messy.’ Julius warned him but did give Malcolm an option.

‘Resign? Over nothing? Are you fucking insane?’ Malcolm was fuming.

Julius leaned close to Malcolm. ‘We have emails that you sent to Steve Fleming that don’t look good for you.’

‘They prove nothing!’

‘Not on their own.’ Julius said, the undertone in his voice made Malcolm stop and blink. ‘Do I have your resignation?’

Malcolm drew in a deep breath, thought a moment, and then hissed out, ‘Yes!’ Grabbing the box from Sam’s desk, Malcolm was storming out of Number 10, escorted by security. 

At home, Malcolm threw the box onto the floor, not caring that it broke apart and the few items in it scattered about the front room and the hall. Tearing off his tie, Malcolm kicked off his shoes and shucked off his jacket. ‘FUCK!’ He finally let vent his frustration in the privacy of his home. He knew all too well who it was that should have been on the receiving end of this butt-fucking but Malcolm knew that there was absolutely no way that he would be able to prove it now. Julius would be too savvy to let any of his means of contact to not be tracked by security. Not to mention that little prick Steve Fleming. That bastard, Malcolm knew, would be having him watched closely for some time. 

Throwing himself onto his sofa, Malcolm rubbed at his face. ‘What the fuck just happened!’ He couldn’t believe it. Not half an hour ago he was prepping a minister for a press conference and now he was at home, out of a job and nothing to do in the immediate future. No, not out of a job, he realized. He was out of a career. He would be officially resigned. 

Fuck it, he thought. He turned on the TV and sure enough, there he was on the news. Surprise resignation, it scrolled under a picture of him. Turning the volume up, the presenter was reading off a piece outlining his reputation and the reason for his resignation. Julius had done as he had said. Just a resignation. 

‘Malcolm Tucker resigned today from his position as Head of Media and Communication at number 10 as a result of over 10 years of constant stress. He was known for a temper and sharp tongue. Rumours of course are swirling that the end came due to medical reasons. Another camp is saying that he went a step too far in one of his familiar rants against a minister. Neither of these can be confirmed. All attempts to get a statement from Mr. Tucker have been met with a brief statement that he wished to be left alone to deal with his stress in private. A statement from the government praises Malcolm for his long term dedication and support of the Party and gratitude for his efforts in helping over the years. They wish nothing but the best for Mr. Tucker as he transitions to a non-governmental career and they have announced that the next Head of Media and Communication would be Steve Fleming.’

‘No fucking surprise there!’ Malcolm yelled at the television. Clicking the news off, Malcolm sat back and covered his face with his hands. He just couldn’t believe it!


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning, his alarm went off at the usual time of 6 am and Malcolm was getting up as if it was a normal day but reality hit him as he put his feet on the floor. Running his hands back and forth through his hair, Malcolm took some time to put his brain in order. There was no rush. No waiting messages. Hell, not even a mobile on his nightstand to grab for and look at. Sighing, he scratched at his chin, frowning at the stubble. He wasn’t going to slum it. Forcing himself up from the bed, he went to the washroom and went through his usual routine. 

A hot shower, longer than what he would normally take, and then he dried off his body before wrapping the towel around his waist. Razor in hand, he was leaning forward towards the mirror and shaved off his overnight growth. Dried, clean-shaven and looking more alert, Malcolm returned to his bedroom and changed into his usual weekend attire - khaki trousers and a pullover. Down the hall he was in the kitchen and getting himself some coffee and a bowl of cereal for breakfast. 

Flipping the television on, he watched the morning news and grimaced that there was nothing about him. ‘Forgotten already. Fucking marzipan dildos. After all the fucking news I shoveled their way over the years.’

Halfway through his second cup of coffee, Malcolm had put his feet up and continued to watch the news until his phone rang. He glanced at the clock and muttered a fuck at the time of only 8:45 am. He’d have been chin deep already at the office trying to get the minister’s aides fucking dance to the Party lines. Answering the phone he was surprised to hear the voice of his old friend, John Rydell. 

‘Fucking fuck me! Have I entered a fucking time warp? You should be tucked up in your crib getting your beauty sleep!’

‘Ah, Malcolm! How’re you doing, mate?’ 

‘John Fucking Rydell! You old fucking fart! I’m doing fine.’

‘Bullshit, you foul-mouthed terror. I read the paper every morning and there you are in a short article about British politics. There is no way that any amount of stress or pressure would have you hanging up your boxing gloves and leaving the halls of government. Tell us the truth.’

‘Not on the fucking phone, mate.’ Malcolm said, fighting the urge to vent to his old friend. 

‘Didn’t I always warn you that playing in the political sandbox would get you covered in ants?’ 

‘I’m not giving you any fucking chance to tell me you told me so!’ Malcolm laughed aloud. ‘Why are you up so damned early? That must be not even 5 am over there in the Big Apple.’

‘Got up early to do a sunrise shot but it’s cloudy so I’ll be trying again tomorrow morning. You going to be okay for a few days until I can catch a flight over there?’

‘Fuck that, John, you don’t have to fly over here! I’m a big boy and can look after myself.’

‘Why do I not believe you, mate?’ John said with a disbelieving tone. ‘It’s been awhile since we’ve been able to get together. Now’s a good time for me once I get these sunrise shots. And now you’ve got time on your hands too. I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know when I’ll be arriving over there.’  
‘John you really don’t have to do this.’ Malcolm protested a last time.

‘Friends, Malcolm. Friends for life. I’ll be there on the weekend at the latest.’

‘You can at least stay at my fucking place. No fucking hotel for you!’

‘That I can agree to. But I’m taking that nasty sofa of yours!’

‘Hey hey,’ Malcolm laughed. ‘I’ve bought a new one since! No stains on this one. Seriously, if you’re going to stay over you can have the bed. You’re the guest.’’

John laughed his trademark belly-laugh. ‘You’ll not win, Malcolm. No matter what you try. Now, take care of yourself Malcolm until I can get there.’


	3. Chapter 3

Malcolm wound up spending half the next day hiding in his home as members of the press kept showing up at his door trying to get him to answer them. When it switched from print journalists to some television crews, he was fed up enough finally to call the police. When they arrived he had a vocal conversation with them and soon the press was being ushered away or they would be slapped with trespass notices. At least they got pushed off his property and far enough away for Malcolm to take up his relaxed pose on the sofa to watch TV for a while. 

He couldn’t help laughing as he watched the afternoon’s round of interviews. It was quickly apparent that whomever had prepped them had fucked up immensely. As the afternoon press ended, Malcolm was switching the channel to an old movie to waste some time. The change from being constantly on the go without a break to doing absolutely nothing with no one to answer too was incredibly hard for Malcolm. Even as he watched the movie, his mind was racing to try and figure out what had happened to him. There had to be a way for him to get back. There just had to be he just had to find it. 

As he lay there, there were notions running through his head that he’d hear from Jamie or he’d hear from Julius. Sam probably wouldn’t. He adored her but she had far too much at stake with her job to risk any gag orders she had been given. And those would likely have been very explicit. Zero contact with him. No matter what. Steve Fleming would go to extreme lengths to keep Sam from contacting him. Oily Ollie would have just been cheering and then climbing up Steve’s chute as fast as possible. The twat had some hints of talent but he had a long apprenticeship ahead of him. If he didn’t wind up road-kill in the meantime. But, no matter what he thought, the phone remained silent. 

The day wore on. The movie ended. Another one came on that he hated so he went channel surfing and found something else to watch for the moment. Bored of it, he picked up the phone and ordered in a pizza. 

Day turned to evening and the street lights came on to light the room. Only then did Malcolm turn on the light. He was about to surf the channels to find something else to watch when his phone rang. Glancing at the call display, Malcolm broke into a grin. ‘John Fucking Rydell! Shouldn’t you be drunk by now?’

‘Malcolm Tucker. Shouldn’t you be washing your mouth out with soap?’ 

‘How’d that sunrise shoot go for you?’

‘Got it finished up this morning. Sold it this afternoon. Now, Saturday morning. Think you could be at Heathrow for 9 am?’

‘Got a flight?’

‘I do. I’ll be landing at 8 am they say. Knowing customs at Heathrow, 9 am would be the earliest I’ll be out.’

‘Bringing the gear with you?’ Malcolm asked, referring to his friend’s camera equipment.

‘Just the personal stuff. Don’t want to have customs thinking I’m over there to work professionally.’ John had been down that road often enough to know the ins and outs of travelling with the camera equipment. ‘Anything you’re going to want me to bring over for you?’

‘No. I already have all the sarcasm I need here already should it be needed. Just looking forward to catching up with you when you get here.’

John chuckled. ‘I’ll be there on Saturday then.’


	4. Chapter 4

‘Fucking crowds.’ Malcolm grumbled under his breath as yet another family of small children stormed around him almost knocking his coffee out of his hand. Scanning the arrivals board, he spotted John’s flight and groaned. Delayed. Taking a chance, he went to the information desk and all they would say was that it was delayed in the air. At least John hadn’t gotten stuck back on the other side of the Atlantic. 

Fleece jacket, khaki trousers and a scowl, Malcolm was the picture of someone waiting at the airport who really did NOT want anyone sitting near him or striking up a conversation. He’d not bothered to shave for the past two days and the growth of stubble on his chin was threatening to make him look like a criminal. Enough anyway for him to draw looks from the security team that patrolled the arrivals area. 

The time dragged but an hour later, Malcolm was on his feet waving down John as he finally appeared from the customs hall. The two old friends hugged and soon, Malcolm was taking John’s luggage and leading him to the taxi rank. 

As they rode to Malcolm’s place, John brought up something he’d been thinking of over the past few days since he had learned about Malcolm’s retirement. ‘Old friend, have you given serious thought yet as to what you’ll do next?

‘For a fucking job?’ Malcolm asked, his attention drawn from the sight of the traffic passing by. ‘Of course I fucking have.’

‘Anything solid?’

‘Fuck no. Any sort of job involving politics is basically going to be stonewalled by the Party. That’s going to include any sort of media. Print or television. I’m thinking I may work on memoirs. I know enough shit on a lot of people over the past three decades to get a lot of money out of that. Take some time to do it but I’m betting I’ll get a good deal with an upfront fee to do the writing.’

‘Good. I would be suggesting that myself. What about writing for a political magazine?’

‘I’m not going to get any coverage by anyone here anymore.’ Malcolm snorted derisively.

‘You’d have an immediate audience in New York.’

‘New York?’

‘You’ve got Wall Street and you’ve got the UN there. It’s ready made international audience right there waiting for you. You could skewer the UK politicians from afar and bridge easily to the US political sphere as well.’

‘That’s quite a jump from what I’ve been doing.’ 

‘Not so much, Malcolm. Not if you think about.’ 

Malcolm just went quiet but the seed of the idea had been planted.


	5. Chapter 5

Six months later and a contract signed to be a regular columnist at the New York Daily, Malcolm found himself at the airport on his way to the United States of America. He’d been there in the past when he’d been working behind the scenes of the Government. This would be entirely different. This was him moving permanently over to the Big Apple. He’d already had the household goods he wanted to keep over and it was all waiting for him at a storage facility. He only had a small piece of luggage with him with the last of his belongings in it. 

As he sat in the terminal waiting for his flight, he tried to read a newspaper but just couldn’t get into it all. Not with the prospect of starting a new life in a new country at his age. He had admitted to John that he was nervous about the move. He’d been friends for so long with John that they knew if the other was holding back. Thankfully, John was going to let him stay at his place until he could find a flat of his own near the Daily’s offices. New York would be just like London. He’d be able to walk most places or take a cab when needed. Not that he’d be doing the same running around he’d done as Head of Communications. 

Instead of reading the newspaper, Malcolm gazed around the terminal people watching. He had at least another hour before his flight would even be getting close to boarding. He rolled his eyes at the sight of a family approaching the gate waiting area. So far the kids weren’t running about. Hopefully that wouldn’t change. 

It wasn’t until he got up from the seat to stretch out his back that he noticed her. She was standing by the window at the gate peering out at the planes. As he did some upper body twists his eyes kept on her. 

She was slim, long legs, long brunette hair. Fucking hell, Malcolm thought to himself. She was the picture of a fashion model. Her leather jacket formed around her upper body. Her back was to him though at the moment so he could only imagine what her breasts looked like. Her rear though was more than enough to get his thoughts racing. Racing quickly to his groin. ‘Sweet fucking christ.’ He muttered and sat back down. He breathed out heavily but didn’t take his eyes off her. Surely she must realize that he was staring at her like a horny as hell bastard, Malcolm thought. His lips pressed tight together as he crossed his legs. Shit, he was already getting hard just from the sight of this woman! How the holy fuck does that happen! To him!

All he could do was just watch her without being obvious. He could be casual about this, he thought. They’d all get called to board and he could make a bit of a move then. At least get closer to her, maybe learn her name. The brunette lady didn’t move for what seemed forever and then, in the general noise he heard someone call out but he wasn’t paying attention enough to catch what was said but the reaction from her was instant. It must have been someone calling her name! Shit, he should have been paying more attention. 

Then the cold water splashed harshly on him. The beauty was met by a handsome young man, dressed sharply. As he watched, his heart sank (not to mention his arousal), the two of them hugged. Not some friendly hug but the hug of well-known lovers, maybe even partners. The way his hands began to brush through her long hair before bending to kiss her lightly at first. Then it was her arms being thrown around his neck to bring him closer and for a deeper more loving kiss. A long, loving kiss. 

Fucking old cunt, Malcolm thought to himself. One look at a hot woman that you would sell your soul to and you’re popping a boner and tripping head over heels. Then the fucking reality is that there’s no way a woman like that is going to look twice at a grey-haired asshole like him let alone think he’d be something to have sex with. He sighed aloud but the people sitting nearest him paid no attention to his personal hell. Why the fuck couldn’t it have ever been him with that woman on his arms. The lady he’d treat like gold and puff out with pride when he went out on the town with. 

Time crawled and Malcolm could do nothing but watch. Watch them laugh, touch, kiss. At least he treated her properly, Malcolm nodded to himself. He could at least rest about that. He wondered why it had never been him. Even now, Malcolm felt it was too late for him to get that lucky. Too fucking busy building his career and working longer than sane hours that’s what happened. Now he was in his fifties and past his prime. 

Well, he thought to himself as the calls began for the boarding of the plane, maybe this move to a new country and a new city would be a good thing not only for his job but maybe for his social life. He wouldn’t be known there after all.


	6. Chapter 6

Within a month of arriving in New York, Malcolm had found his own flat and had settled into a routine of writing a regular weekly column for the Daily. He had the respect of all his peers at the paper. Malcolm still used his creative language when pushed but there were no tirades or bollocking. Just some meetings and writing. He spent a lot of time still reading the news from back in the UK. There were even online resources for him to listen or watch live radio and television. Occasionally, he would read or hear about some of his old cohorts. He watched as Steve Fleming began to fall apart and Jamie began his own rise up the ladder. 

It was a bit of a surprise to Malcolm one day about four months after he’d started writing at the Daily when his editor called him into the office for a meeting.

‘Malcolm! How are you?’

‘I’m good, Doug. What’s going on?’

‘Wanted to run something past you, Malcolm. You’ve impressed people here in New York.’ Doug sat back in his chair, his pen twirling in his fingers as it always did.  
‘That was the point. Impress people, earn money, and work on my memoirs.’ Malcolm grinned. 

‘How are the memoirs coming?’

‘Getting there. I’ve been working on anecdotes to put in the memoirs.’

‘Good. Don’t let that fall to the side, right?’ Doug stilled the pen in his hand suddenly and sat forward. ‘Look, Malcolm. You write a weekly column and that’s it. I know you’re doing fine so far on that salary but I’ve not been able to justify a second column a week to get you any sort of pay raise.’

‘I understand, Doug. I appreciate you trying.’ Malcolm was disappointed. He had hoped to have the extra work for some extra money. His reserves were still in good shape but he hadn’t had any good offers on the memoirs as yet. 

‘Once I got word of that I took the liberty of asking an old college friend about another option for you.’

‘Yeah? What’s that?’ 

‘The University of New York has a political science department. They’ve had one of the lecturers go on a sudden leave of absence and they need someone to fill in for the rest of the semester. All the lectures have already been plotted out but they need someone who can quickly step in to run them and answer questions. I think you’d be an ideal candidate for the job.’

‘What sort of course?’ Malcolm was reluctant. 

‘It’s a course called Politics and the Media.’

Malcolm guffawed. ‘I fucking lived that!’

‘That’s why I thought you’d be ideal for it.’

‘Alright then, how long does it run for?’

‘To the end of the current semester. Four more months. I can’t guarantee you’ll get anything permanent after that. That would be between you and the University.’

‘Give me the fucking name of the person I need to talk to then.’ Malcolm said and Doug handed over the University contact’s name to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Malcolm was loosening his tie after the final class of the semester. He was exhausted from the four months he’d spent lecturing as the last minute replacement for Dr. Healy. Despite having to lecture twice a week and be available at his ‘office’ at the University for students to attend smaller study sessions, which really turned out to be dedicated question time, Malcolm was still able to write his column for the Daily. 

The only thing left for the class was the final exam which had been prepared already and was to be run by his teaching assistants not himself.   
For Malcolm, all he had left was a final meeting with the Department Head in two hours time. He’d asked a few weeks ago about what the future might hold for him at the University. The job was exhausting but he’d found the interaction with the students reminded him of the younger aides that he’d been dealing with back at Number 10. Without of course the bollocking and stress of Ministers fucking everything up. He’d more than shown that he knew his subject and easily talked about it. 

His lecture folder in his hands, Malcolm made his way to his office. He nodded to the students he passed that attended his lectures. Once at his office, Malcolm began to clear away the few things he had collected there that were his own personal items. Julie, one of his teaching assistants, joined him shortly after he got there and was helping him pack up the student files that he’d had to keep around for administrative work. Those would be transferred to the Department admin team to update the student files for the end of semester. 

‘Got any plans for the summer break, Mr. Tucker?’ Julie asked as she kept up her packing away of files.

‘Fuck no. Just writing my column and probably working on my memoirs.’ Malcolm was rummaging around one of the desk drawers trying to find a lost pen that he’d been given by Doug to congratulate him on getting the lecturer job. ‘You see my fucking pen around?’

‘Last I saw it was clipped to your journal.’ Julie had gotten used to his cursing and his misplacing of his pen all the time. 

Malcolm opened the folder with his last lectures notes in it, found his journal and opened it up. The pen was clipped to the inside. With a sigh of relief, Malcolm placed the pen in his suit jacket pocket. ‘Almost time for the final bell.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, last meeting with Faber. I asked him weeks ago if there’d be any chance of a teaching position next semester but he just did the usual situation review. I expect the cold-hearted fucker is going to say thanks for the help, have a good fucking life.’

‘Professor Faber isn’t that bad, Mr. Tucker. He’s got a whole department to run. I’m sure he’ll have heard only good things about how you’ve handled the year on Dr. Healy’s behalf.’ 

‘Julie, can you do me a fucking favor?’ Malcolm asked, looking at her intently.

‘What, Mr. Tucker?’ Julie couldn’t hold his gaze. 

‘Stop fucking calling me Mr. Tucker.’ Malcolm grinned at Julie. ‘Class is over, I think you can get past the fucking formality now. You’re the only fucking one who calls me that. Makes me feel like I should be using a fucking walker.’

‘Mr. Tu… Malcolm, sorry. I’ve never called any of my professor’s by their first names. It just doesn’t feel respectful.’ Julie explained, looking shy for a moment. 

‘Fucking hell, Julie. I’m not even a professor. I’m just a lecturer hired off the goddamn street.’ 

‘You’re not just a lecturer, Mr.. Malcolm.’ Julie straightened up from the box of files she’d been filling. ‘I’ve learned more from you in these past four months than I had from Dr. Healy in the past 2 years. He’s got theory down pat but you, you’ve got real experience in the halls of power. That’s what it’s all about. The use or misuse of that power in the public eye. When you were describing some of the methods you had used in the past to direct the media to portray news stories the way you felt it best to be used was just awe-inspiring. After you had mentioned that one enquiry I found the reports and read them over. Just fascinating.’

Malcolm chuckled at her sudden enthusiasm. ‘Fascinating until you wind up without a fucking job.’

‘Oh, but you didn’t lose your job from that enquiry.’ Julie commented. ‘Which was truly amazing. That despite you being implied that you had engineered the entire leak no one could place it sufficiently at your feet to the point where dismissal was justified. You were suspended until the affair was fully investigated and then returned to work.’

Malcolm’s eyes shadowed over at the memory. ‘Politics in the real world, Julie is always going to be like dancing on a knife’s edge. It doesn’t take much for you to get cut deep.’ 

Julie caught the bleak look in Malcolm’s face. ‘Sorry.’ 

‘It’s alright, Julie. Political careers are never for life. History proves that.’ Malcolm smiled again, pushing the dark thoughts of his past away again. ‘You’ve never said what you were looking to do once you finish your post-grad work.’

‘I’m not sure yet. I’d like to teach myself but now, having attended your lectures I’m considering something in the political field.’

‘Make sure you’ve got big girl panties and kevlar lined blouses.’ Malcolm advised her. He glanced at his watch. ‘Fuck, off to get the push out by Faber.’

Julie sighed. ‘That’s a shame if they let you go. You’d be an amazing lecturer for them to keep on. You’re like a crossover for politics and journalism.’

‘Thanks,’ Malcolm slipped into his jacket and tightened his tie. ‘Right, all professional looking again?’

Julie stepped up to him and straightened his tie and collar, her hand resting on his shoulder a moment longer than maybe she ought to have. It made Malcolm blink a moment before the touch was broken and she stepped back from him. ‘All set. Good luck, Malcolm.’

‘You’ll be here when I get through this meeting?’ Malcolm asked as he headed to the door. 

‘If you want me to hang around I can. I can finish up this paperwork while I wait.’

‘Thanks. I’ll need someone to drown my sorrows with.’ Malcolm left the invitation in the air and headed down the hall of the office building. He’d have to cross the large campus to reach Faber’s office and it gave Malcolm time to think about the last touch of Julie’s hand on his shoulder. Daft fucking old fart, Malcolm chided himself. Sure, over the past four months he’s had the occasional dirty thought about some of the younger students and Julie as well. Julie had been the hardest because there’d been enough times when they’d been in his office together with no one else around. Not that he’d ever crossed that line. No, he wouldn’t fucking be doing that. He’d been confronted with that often enough in the past and seen others crash fast after crossing the work / sex line. 

Today though, he was done his temporary contract and Julie was going to be heading off to finish her thesis. And she hadn’t shot down the idea of going for drinks afterwards. That was hopeful for him having some female company for a while. Something more than just a dirty dream and frantic wank. 

Arriving at Faber’s office, he sat down and waited for the axe to fall. He expected it so he was okay with the end of the contract. He’d have more time to finish his memoirs and maybe he could talk to Doug again about additional work at the paper. ‘Professor Faber.’ Malcolm nodded in greeting as he settled into the large chair. 

‘Mr. Tucker.’ Faber nodded back at Malcolm. ‘How did your last day go?’’

‘Went well I thought. Most of the students took the time to come up and say thanks at the end. I’m sure the TA’s are happy to be rid of me.’

‘Yes, I’ve had plenty of feedback from both students and the teaching assistants.’ Faber was opening a folder on his desk and slowly running a finger down the page. ‘One common complaint about you was your foul language. Not something we encourage or even endorse the use of in a University setting.’

Malcolm shrugged. ‘In the real world, it can be effective.’

‘University lecture halls are not the real world, Mr. Tucker.’ Faber said evenly. 

‘I wouldn’t know about that. Never did go to post-secondary myself. Learned the real world way. Worked well I think.’

Faber didn’t respond. Instead he was turning to another page and again running a finger down it. ‘There were a few complaints that your lectures had strayed from the expected content of the course.’

‘I had the lectures provided by Dr. Healy which I went over and adapted to include my own views, as I’d been told to do by yourself. I then had all four of the course TA’s review them and they all reported back to you that it was all good. You put your seal of approval on them yourself.’

‘The complaints were drawn from some of your improvised anecdotes.’

‘Which again you told me to fucking use.’ ‘Malcolm was sitting up straighter in the chair. He was going to be axed but it didn’t fucking mean he was going to roll over and have this fucking bastard ram him up the chutney with slung shit from self-pissing wanna be professionals who happened to not like him. ‘Some jealous fucks in the class trying to piss on me like some fucking fireplug.’

‘Fire hydrant.’ Faber corrected his use of the British terminology.

‘I’m Scottish, I fucking speak Scottish.’ Malcolm growled at Faber.

‘You react like one as well. But I’ve known that from the day I decided to invite you to cover the class for the year.’ Faber didn’t rise to the bait. ‘I’ve dismissed those complaints as one offs.’ Another turn of a page and another drawn finger. ‘There was one complaint of a sexual leering.’

Malcolm couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘A what??”

‘Sexual leering. Apparently you were standing over someone and leering at them in a sexual manner.’ Faber slowly read over the complaint. ‘Ah, yes. I recall this one. I interviewed the complainant. There were two others who agreed to interviews as witness. Dismissed it. The complainant wasn’t the one you had been ‘leering’ at. From what I found the incident was your demonstration of how one could use their body and facial expressions to aid in manipulation of others.’ Faber looked up from the folder, closing it again. ‘Perhaps the use of a more positive form of manipulation would be recommended for use in future rather than a negative situation.’

‘Fuck that, people remember more when they’ve been bollocked. Wanking them off only gets them to remember things for a short while. I should fucking know.’ Malcolm dismissed the comments of the Department Head. ‘Was that fucking it?’

‘Yes.’ Faber had folded his hands in front of him and was leaning forward towards Malcolm. ‘Mr. Tucker, I just wanted to say that despite these complaints I am quite satisfied that you were an excellent candidate to cover for Dr. Healy these past four months. As you and I both know today is the final day of your temporary contract.’

‘It’s been a pretty good fucking run. Have to admit that I enjoyed it more than I thought I would have.’ Malcolm began to relax again.

‘I’m glad. I’m surprised that you’d not thought in the past to become a professor yourself.’

‘Fuck that. I had enough fucking deadlines at Number 10. Trying to fucking do anything else at the same time would have fucked me into the depths of madness.’ 

‘True. You were kept on your toes by your Government.’ Faber picked up the folder of complaints and set it to one side of his desk. He picked up a second one and opened it. Clicking his pen, he signed off on the document in the folder. Holding it open, he turned it to hand it to Malcolm. ‘You may wish to read that closely.’

Malcolm leaned forward to take the folder from Faber, ready to sign off on the end of the contract, probably getting a fucking cut in the pay because of the fucking complaints, Malcolm thought. ‘As he started to read it over, Malcolm’s eyes widened as it soon dawned on him what the document was. It wasn’t a pay decrease. It was a contract renewal. For a full fucking semester, Malcolm shot a look at Faber through his eyebrows. ‘The fuck?’

‘Dr. Healy has requested a further year off on sabbatical. The content of the lectures hasn’t really needed to be updated. You would of course need to review and update from the beginning of the year not just the partial year you covered this time. Again, you’d have the four teaching assistants and your responsibilities would be the same. It’s at the same rate as previous. I can’t go to regular contract rate as you aren’t the holder of a Doctorate or Professorship, just Lecturer.’ Faber cracked the barest hint of a smile in reaction the surprised look on his face. ‘I am hoping that you’ll accept.’

‘I’m not changing the way I lecture. Anyone has a problem with my cursing they can fuck the fuck off.’ Malcolm didn’t take the pen from Faber. 

‘I had 200 complaints about your cursing in the 4 months of your tenure so far. I’m still asking you to do an entire year. It’s still not encouraged but the classes are made up of adults.’ Faber stretched the pen out towards Malcolm again. 

‘Will it be the same teaching assistants?’

‘No, all new. The current ones are all in their last years or moving to other campuses next semester. I can have you included in the selection committee.’

‘Fuck that, I wouldn’t have a clue what to look for or ask for. They deal more with the students rather than myself.’ Malcolm finally reached out and took the pen from Faber’s outstretched hand. With a quick stroke the contract was signed. ‘One year only right?’

‘That’s all I can offer right now.’ Faber said. Malcolm did detect a note of disappointment in the Department Head’s voice. After that, it was just a few more details over the next year’s course and the date he’d be needed to return to the campus. Returning to his office, Malcolm found his steps lighter than they had been when he’d walked to Faber’s office. Another year of lecturing. Fucking hell! He wanted to yell out in victory but there was no one around for him to show off to. That invitation to Julie for a drink to drown his sorrows would now be one of celebration. 

Julie was still in his office. All of the files that were going to be carted off to the admin team were already boxed up and Julie had started to pack up the books from the shelves. ‘Julie! Julie!’ Malcolm called out from the end of the hall. A couple of heads popped out of other offices, one of them was another professor that he’d butted heads with over the past months over some of the louder student question and answer sessions he’d held in his office. Malcolm just shot him one of his bollocking looks and the older man glowered before slamming his door shut. 

Entering the office, Malcolm was beaming and it was enough to make Julie stop her packing, a handful of books held suspended for a moment above the box. ‘What’s going on Malcolm? Thought you’d be a bit down.’

‘Fucking got an extension! I’m on contract for all of next year!’ Malcolm spread out his arms and Julie, excited for him put the books down and raced over to hug him. Hugging her hard in return, Malcolm was lifting her off her feet. Julie let out a squeal and was holding onto his shoulders to steady herself in case he let go. ‘Another year, Julie!’

‘That’s fantastic!’ Julie congratulated him and once she’d been set back on her feet, she took hold of his face in her hands and kissed him spontaneously. Malcolm, surprised, pulled back from her lips and looked at her. Julie’s cheeks began to turn red from shock and embarrassment. Malcolm recovered quickly and tilted his head and eased back towards her slightly parted lips. They fell into a gentle, lingering kiss. Malcolm lost his head as the kiss continued and his gentleness began to edge into a hungrier, more passionate one. Then it was Julie’s turn to pull back in surprise. 

Her hands splayed on his chest, holding him off. Malcolm coughed, the flush of arousal in his face was turning into a deeper embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something but Julie just moved a finger onto his lips, stopping him from talking. ‘Not here.’ Was all she said.

Malcolm nodded. ‘My place is closer.’

Julie nodded. Grabbing the small box of his personal things, Malcolm followed her from the office and locked it up behind them. They got to her car and soon she was negotiating the busy streets of New York City to his place. Juggling his box, he got the front door open and then leading her up the two flights to his flat and getting that door open too. Julie was first in and holding the door for him to get in with his box. Hooking one foot on the end of the door, Malcolm was slamming it shut and practically throwing the box of things onto the chair by the door. 

As the box teetered on the edge of the chair, threatening to topple onto the floor, Julie was slipping out of her jacket and Malcolm was ripping his tie and jacket off. His jacket landed on top of the box, tipping it finally off the chair to spill out on the floor. Neither of them took any notice as they were kissing again. Not the soft lingering kiss but hungry, passionate and hard. Tongues fighting against one another to drink from the other. Malcolm was fumbling badly at his attempts to get her blouse off her shoulders. Julie took over and got her blouse off and was taking his shirt from him. Groaning, Malcolm was kissing Julie as she was working his belt off. His trousers were slipping down towards his hips as the two of them made their way to his bedroom. 

By the time they made it to the side of his bed, his trousers and boxers were around his ankles, her bra was on the floor in the hallway and her trousers were being tugged down by his hands. Julie was helped down onto the bed by Malcolm before he was taking hold of her panties and stripping her of those as well. He ached badly now. It had been far too fucking long since he’d had a woman in his bed. In the frenzy of the moment, Julie had to take control and guide him inside her. Once in, Malcolm took over and was pumping hard into the younger woman. One leg hooked around him, her fingers digging into the cheeks of his ass, Julie was moaning loudly. The bed bumped against the wall with the force of his thrusting. Too soon he was shooting his load, crying out from the force of his orgasm. 

With a groan, he buried his face into the crook of her shoulder. ‘Fuck fuck fuck.’ He muttered by way of apology. Flopping onto his back beside her, he covered his face with his hands. ‘Shouldn’t have gone off so quick. Sorry.’

Julie smiled as she turned onto her side to face him. ‘Malcolm, it’s okay.’ Her hand was resting on his chest, feeling him breathe heavily. ‘Been a while for you?’

Malcolm took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He put his hand over hers to lift it to his lips and kiss her. ‘Maybe too fucking long.’ 

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Julie tried to reassure him. ‘I don’t leave for Washington until late tomorrow afternoon. If you want…’ She trailed off her sentence.

Shaking his head back and forth, Malcolm was beginning to hate himself. ‘Julie, this.. fucking fuck me.. we shouldn’t have..’

‘You’re not my boss. I’ve already left the University to go to Washington State to finish my thesis. There’s nothing professional holding us back now.’

‘Julie.’ Malcolm sat up now, looking at her. ‘I don’t fucking love you.’

She laughed lightly. ‘Malcolm, I’m not a fool. I know this isn’t the start of some long term relationship.’

‘I”m not the fucking sort of shitbag to fuck women and leave them.’ 

‘No, you’re not a shitbag. You’re Malcolm Tucker, ex-British political manipulator, newspaper columnist and university lecturer. And, right now, you’re my one night stand.’ Julie leaned over to kiss him. ‘My Scottish sex toy.’ Her tongue drove between his lips, swirling over his tongue before pulling back, drawing his lower lip between hers until she let it go. ‘Just for tonight.’

‘Julie?’ Malcolm’s chest rose and fell with his breaths. ‘Just tonight?’

‘Just.’ She paused as she shifted on top of him, her legs straddling his waist. Her hands slid from his stomach and up his chest as she leaned forward. Her lips hovered just above his when she whispered, ‘Tonight.’ Malcolm’s hands shot up to grab her by the face and feverishly kiss her again. Julie was moving her hips to grasp his once-more hardening cock. It only took a few long, slow strokes before he was twitching and ready. Julie held her breath as she glided down onto him, grinding her hips against him until she set a steady rocking motion up and down his hard cock. His long fingers held her by the waist. She rode him, hard and insistent. This time, with Julie in control, it wasn’t a quick fuck. This time it was a long, slow fuck to get herself off before he’d get that pleasure again. 

Malcolm moved his hands from her waist to her breasts, stroking them. His grip tightened as he neared coming again. Julie stopped rocking against him and moved his right hand to her crotch. His forefinger dove between her wet lips to rub against her swollen clit. ‘Want to fucking go down on you.’ Malcolm groaned. 

‘Not yet.’ Julie spoke huskily. ‘First I want to fuck you properly.’ Her hands were on his chest, fingers on his nipples to stroke them lightly at first before pinching them. ‘Rub harder, Malcolm. Make me come.’ Malcolm’s tongue ran over his lips, his fingers picking up the pace on her clit, pressing harder with the satisfaction of her cunt clenching around his throbbing cock. She was leaning down over him again, pulling his fingers up and away from her clit to suck on them. Then she was rocking against him once more, faster and deeper. Malcolm gasped for breath as she drove herself onto him. Her teeth bit into his shoulder as she shuddered and came. Malcolm cried out as his eyes went wide and his cock was pumped dry by her pulsating cunt. 

‘Oh my fucking stars.’ Malcolm was still trying to catch his breath from the intensity of his orgasm. Julie was kissing him again with less hunger. ‘Did that really just fucking happen?’

‘Mmm, it did.’ Her lips moved down over his chin and his neck, then to his chest, sucking on his nipple. ‘Wonderfully.’ 

‘Fucking hell.’ Malcolm groaned and wrapped his arms around her. ‘You’re fucking hot.’

‘I hear that Scotsmen are known to last a long time.’ Her fingernail was scratching along the contours of his chest. 

‘I think you’re thinking about the stupid fucking stories about kilts.’ They both laughed. 

The two of them relaxed for some time, not saying much but just casually stroking and teasing one another until they were both ready once more. Malcolm got his chance, laying Julie on her back he slid down the bed to bury his face between her legs. His tongue lapped eagerly at her wet cunt. Licking and sucking and driving deep inside her, Malcolm pleasured her with his tongue until she was gripping his hair with her hands, pushing him closer against her. Her moans got louder. Suddenly her hips arched upwards and her body began to tremble. With a cry she came wave after wave as Malcolm didn’t stop his efforts. Finally she collapsed on the bed. Malcolm slid back up to her side with a grin on his face. 

Julie, her skin still glowing from her orgasm, was turning towards him and sliding her hand down to his crotch, roughly stroking him. ‘Fuck me.’ She growled in his ear, still burning for more. Malcolm obliged her, on top of her again and thrusting hard. Still buzzing from her orgasm, Julie was clutching him tight to urge him on. By the time Malcolm was ready to come himself, Julie was already peaking again too. Malcolm’s fingers had gripped handfuls of bedsheet with the intensity of his orgasm. Now, he released his grasp of them and he was finally drained. Julie looked exhausted as well. The last clear thought he had was seeing Julie’s naked buttocks walking away from the bed to the washroom. 

Malcolm slept soundly and for a long time. He didn’t wake up until his usual 6 am. Blearily blinking his eyes to clear them, he was naked and clutching one of the spare pillows in his arms. His brows furrowed as he wondered where his lover was. ‘Love?’ He called out, still trying to clear his head. Closing his eyes, he saw only the image of the long haired brunette with her long legs. He felt himself stirring, wondering where she was. He got out of bed reluctant to leave the warmth and the lingering smell of her and their sex. ‘Where’d you go?’ He called out again, with same lack of response. 

He was alone in his flat. In the kitchen, he found a brief note on the table. ‘Take care of yourself Malcolm. Thanks for last night. Julie.’ His long fingers curled around the paper and crumpled it into a ball. It hadn’t been the lady of his dreams. Julie. It had been Julie. Fucking hell! He squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Fucking brilliant, Malc. Handled that just fucking amazingly well. She couldn’t even bother staying the night.’ Throwing the note away, Malcolm got up and went back to his normal routine. Alone.


	8. Chapter 8

A week later, Malcolm was at his kitchen table working away on his laptop, a cold cup of coffee to his right being ignored as he hammered away at writing. He’d already submitted his column for the week and was working on his memoirs until he got the usual ‘fix these bits’ notes back via email. Wrapping up the latest anecdote for his memoirs, Malcolm sat back and scratched his chin. He’d not shaved for a few days now and the facial hair was at the itching like hell stage. Idly, he wondered if he should let it grow to the full beard again. 

He drank a large mouthful of coffee and swallowed it quickly, making a face at the cold liquid. ‘Fuck that.’ He dumped the rest in the sink and opted to refill the mug with scotch instead. Sitting by the bottle was a pack of cigarettes he’d bought the day after Julie had left for Washington. Grabbing it, he pulled out one of them and lit it. Sitting back at the table, he thought about what he’d add next to his memoirs, smoking and drinking. 

The mobile phone buzzed madly on the table top with an incoming call. Picking it up, Malcolm answered. ‘What the fuck do you want?’ He had no idea who it was but he was in a sour mood at the moment. 

‘And there’s the ray of sunshine I know and love.’ John’s voice on the other end of the line made Malcolm grimace.

‘Sorry, mate.’ Malcolm apologized.

‘What’s got your shorts in a knot today? You usually have your column all wrapped up. Something delaying it?’

‘No, just other shit. Don’t want to really talk about it.’ Malcolm took a long draw on his cigarette, hoping that John would let it go.

‘Well then, good timing on my part then. Tomorrow night. My gallery. You’d better be there.’

‘I don’t think I’m up for one of your exhibit openings right now, John.’ Malcolm tapped the ashes off his cigarette. 

‘You may not be up for it but you’re going to be there. Unless you want me to come to your place with Pedro, kidnap you and cart you over here in the trunk of my car.’

‘Fuck you,’ Malcolm grumbled. ‘Like the two of you could manage that.’

‘Then I’ll expect you at the Gallery at 8 pm.’ John laughed. ‘And when did you take up smoking again?’

‘Just needed one. That’s all.’ Malcolm stubbed out the cigarette in response. 

‘Throw them out. If I catch you smoking regularly there will be hell to pay.’ John made it clear to his friend that he was disappointed. Malcolm sighed and threw the rest of the pack out. ‘Thank you. I do want you to come to the exhibit opening on Friday. Will you come?’

‘It’s not another one of those nearly naked men exhibits is it?’ Malcolm asked.

‘No, it’s my latest landscapes collection.’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll be there. Formal or?’

‘Not formal. No tie needed.’ John smiled. ‘And Malcolm, any time you need to talk just let me know.’

‘Yeah. I know.’ Malcolm said goodbye and ended the call. He wasn’t sure why, but he decided against shaving and went back to work on his memoirs.


	9. Chapter 9

Malcolm arrived at the gallery just after 8 pm the next night. Hanging in the window was a large print of one of John’s landscape pictures. Had to give the guy credit, Malcolm thought. The fucker knew how to take a hell of a photo. There was already a decent crowd of people in the gallery. There was one print that was framed and filled almost an entire wall of Central Park in the morning with just a hint of haze in the air. He jumped as he felt a hand lightly gliding over his right ass cheek. 

‘Hi there, handsome.’ The slim fellow with perfectly styled hair stood beside Malcolm. ‘Don’t recall seeing you here before.’

Malcolm coughed. ‘I’m a friend of John’s.’

‘Mmm,’ The stranger’s right eyebrow went up in curiosity. 

‘Not THAT kind of friend. Sorry.’ Malcolm glowered at the slim fellow. 

He clucked and then sighed, ‘A shame that. Still,’ His eyes roved up and down Malcolm once more. ‘If you change your mind…’

‘I won’t.’ Malcolm said and breathed a bit easier when the guy wandered off. Just his fucking luck, Malcolm thought, I can get fucking men drooling over him but not a woman. Fucking bastards. Malcolm made his way to where they were serving drinks and had to settle for a standard wine. As he milled around, he looked over the various sized prints. John had been experimenting with color filters and other enhancements to alter his original images. One shot caught his attention. It showed an incoming wave on the Jersey Shore, catching it as it curled before washing out. 

‘I love that one, too.’ A woman came to stand beside him. ‘Reminds me of the Portuguese coast.’ Her finger made to touch the glass but stopped just above it. ‘John is quite talented.’

‘He is.’ Malcolm found himself staring at her finger as she ghosted it over the glass to outline the curve of the wave. ‘I may actually buy this one.’

‘You’d be too late.’ She said, her short brown hair framed a sad look in her eyes. ‘It’s already been spoken for. A couple who live on the Jersey Shore bought it up the moment they saw it. It’s practically outside their front door.’ 

‘Sounds like you would have wanted it for yourself.’ Malcolm could hear the regret in her voice.

‘No. Not really. I probably couldn’t bear to have it on my wall anyway.’

‘Something happen?’ Malcolm asked. ‘In Portugal?’ She didn’t answer but just turned away, leaving him to stand there in front of the picture. Malcolm shrugged it off. She looked sad and he would have offered to hug her if he’d known her any better. He wondered what had happened to her to make her so sad. A thought crossed his mind, thinking to offer to try and buy it from the couple and give it to the sad woman. Turning about he tried to find her again but couldn’t see her in the crowd. Daft fucker, probably a good thing he couldn’t see her. Moving on, he went on to other photos and found another one. This one was a smaller one but of Brooklyn Bridge at night with a full moon lighting the scene. That one, Malcolm thought, would look good on the wall in his living room. He looked at the price tag and saw the dreaded ‘SOLD’ written on it. Fuck, no winning for him today, Malcolm sighed. 

‘Malcolm!’ John caught sight of him finally. They hugged and John glanced at the photo Malcolm had been looking at. ‘Like it do you?’

‘Yeah, too late though.’ He pointed at the sold note.

‘Well, there will be others I’m sure.’ John draped an arm around Malcolm’s shoulder. ‘I was hoping to catch you earlier. My god-daughter was here this evening. She’s back from Europe to settle back here in New York again. Unfortunately, she’s just left.’ 

‘I’m sure we’ll meet at some point.’ Malcolm said. 

‘Come, let me introduce you to some of the others.’ John was soon leading Malcolm to a group of others and introducing him to other friends. 

Malcolm, caught up in the usual social networking and milling about that happens at events like this, soon forgot about the sad woman. Gone and forgotten.


	10. Chapter 10

Three weeks later, Malcolm had found it harder and harder to stop himself drinking more and taking up smoking again. He knew that if this had been happening to him back home in London he’d have been calling up Jamie to go out for a bender and get it out of his system. But no luck here in New York. Not with being a known newspaper columnist and now a University Lecturer. Gotta fucking keep it clean, Malcolm, he told himself. Standing at the small window in his flat, all he could see was the buzzing street below him. ‘People like fucking ants.’ His voice was loud in the silent apartment. ‘Fucking little ants and they all have some fucking lover to fucking go home and fuck.’ He smacked the wall with the palm of his hand. ‘Why the fuck did I have to go and fucking see her at the airport! Fucking woman of my dreams and she’s already fucking involved with someone. And fucking younger.’

Malcolm left the window and returned to his kitchen. Instead of grabbing for the bottle of scotch, he put on the kettle and try to calm himself down. ‘Fucking hell.’ He groaned aloud. ‘Shouldn’t have fucked around with Julie.’ He had managed to keep things cool in his head before then. Sure there’d been the occasional frenzied wank at night or in the morning after he’d had dreams of his airport lady. But that was fine. Now though, after having had sex with Julie, it just made it so much fucking harder. He missed having a woman around. He had never really missed it back in London. His fucking job had been his fucking mistress and wife. Busy almost 24/7 that had been. Here in New York, all he had was a deadline to write a column once a week and work on his memoirs. Even the lecturing job wasn’t enough to keep his mind off the lack of a partner. 

With a snort, Malcolm made himself a cup of tea and sat down at the table to sip it. His laptop was there, turned off but waiting for him to work again. ‘Fuck this.’ He picked up his mobile and dialled John. He had to talk to someone or he was going to go fucking mental.

‘And there’s my favourite foul mouthed Scot! Malcolm!’ John’s perpetually optimistic voice came over the phone. ‘What’s up my old friend?’

‘This a good time for you, John?’

‘For you Malcolm, any time is a good time. What can I do for you?’

‘Need to fucking talk.’ Malcolm mumbled.

‘Come to my studio then. I’ll make us some lunch.’

‘Thanks.’ Malcolm hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket. The short subway ride to John’s studio seemed to just mock Malcolm even more. Everyone in the same car were all paired up. Just him riding alone. He scratched idly at the now-thick beard that covered his lower face. Thinking that someone was looking at him, he glanced around the subway car and caught one of the older ladies looking at him. Once she spotted him looking back she turned away and began to talk to the man beside her, probably her husband. Ramming his hands deeper into his jacket pockets, Malcolm glowered at the world in general until the subway pulled in at his station. 

John’s studio was above the gallery but with a separate entrance. Walking past the large window of the gallery he could see hanging on the side wall another picture of Brooklyn Bridge. It was different than the one he’d wanted the other week but close enough for him to consider a second look at it later. He buzzed in at the studio door before walking up the narrow flight of stairs. 

‘Malcolm!’ John greeted him at the top of the stairs, welcoming his friend inside. ‘You’re looking a bit.. erm.. rough.’ Removing his jacket and placing it on a coat stand by the door, Malcolm shot John one of his foulest glares. John gave a shake of his head and just headed to the lounge area. The studio was one large loft with most of the space taken up with assorted camera and lighting equipment and back drops. One small corner had been set up with some couches and a small counter that had a coffee maker and kettle on it while a small fridge was tucked under it out of the way. John had already started to pour them each a mug of coffee. The mugs had a worn ‘Rydell Studios’ logo on them. 

Stretching out his legs, Malcolm made himself comfortable before reaching up to take a mug of coffee from John to sip at it. John curled a leg up under him and sat sideways beside Malcolm. ‘Now that you’re here, what’s got you all grumpy, old friend?’

‘Am I that bad?’

‘If you were back at Number 10 I think you’d have cleared the halls ahead of you wherever you went.’

‘Fuck.’ Malcolm, mug in one hand, rubbed at his eyes a moment. ‘I don’t know what the fuck to do, John.’

‘Tell me then.’

‘You and I, we go back a long time. You were there the whole fucking time during my doomed marriage. Wish I’d fucking listened to you then.’

‘You were madly in love with her. And she with you.’

‘Just weren’t fucking ready.’ 

‘It wasn’t that you weren’t ready, Malcolm. She just didn’t want to invest the time or energy to understand what drove you to be the man you were for the government.’

‘At least I had someone to go home to.’ Malcolm blurted out. 

‘Someone to go home to to be nagged, berated and derided.’ John reminded him. ‘Once your divorce was complete you were a lot easier to get along with. But that’s not what you’re missing now is it?’

Malcolm shook his head. ‘No, not that fucking bullshit from her. Miss the happier times.’ His shoulders rose and then fell heavily as he exhaled slowly, sighing. ‘I’m fucking alone, John.’

‘You’ve been single for a long time.’

‘Too fucking long.’ 

‘Something has happened to get you all moody.’ John teased his old friend by reaching out to tug gently on the fresh grown bread. ‘ Talk to your Uncle John properly.’ 

‘Fuck off you, old poof.’ Malcolm swatted at his friend’s hand. 

‘You sound the same as you look, Malcolm.’ John gave the offending facial hair another tug. ‘A grumpy greek grandfather scowling his way to his early grave. You should shave this off. You’re not attractive at all with it covering your chin.’

‘Should fucking keep it then. Keep you and your fucking group of latin punks from trying to fucking grope my ass all the time.’

‘And you think the ladies will want you any more?’ 

Malcolm’s hand stroked his beard slowly. ‘Maybe.’

‘Depends on what sort of lady you’re hoping to attract. Maybe an old Greek widow is what you’re after.’

‘Fuck off!’ Malcolm growled at his friend. ‘That’d be fucking worse than Pedro copping a feel.’

‘If you’re going to insist on keeping it, at least keep it trimmed. The bushier you let it get the more scowly you get. And scowly is definitely not going to attract the sort of lady you’d be wanting.’ Malcolm sighed. ‘Ah. That touched a nerve. What are you looking for?’

‘This is going to sound so fucking lame.’ Malcolm shot a look at John from the corner of his eye. John just gestured to his friend to carry on talking. ‘Last year. When I was flying over from London to move here permanently. I met someone.’

‘At the airport?’

‘Yeah.’ Malcolm turned to look at his friend. ‘I was waiting for my flight and she was standing looking out at the planes. Oh fuck, John. She was so fucking beautiful! She had such long soft brown hair, and her smile was enough to make me fucking want her right then and there! It took all I had to stop grabbing her and dragging her off to propose to her right then and there.’

‘What happened then?’ John was curious about this mysterious woman. Malcolm hadn’t brought this up before which was surprising considering how enthusiastically he was talking about her.

‘She was literally the woman of my dreams. Standing right there, in front of me. All I had to do was get up off my seat and go up to her and talk to her.’

‘And then?’ 

‘A guy showed up and they greeted one another like lovers. I guess they were maybe a couple, or married even?’

‘So, nothing happened. Heartbroken?’

‘Shattered into a fucking million pieces. Never even learned her name. Wasn’t even getting on my flight. They walked off towards one of the other gates.’ Malcolm sighed. ‘Haven’t fucking stopped thinking of her since.’

‘That was over a year ago, Malcolm. You need to move on. Find someone for yourself.’ John reached over and squeezed Malcolm’s shoulder gently. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this ages ago?’

‘I was fucking fine, John.’ Malcolm groaned. ‘Seriously, I was. Sure I have dreams about her and shit but who doesn’t fucking have hot dreams about women and jack off on them. But now…’

‘Now?’ Again John gestured for Malcolm to continue his story.

‘Just at the end of the semester there.’ Malcolm began to blush a bit now. ‘Julie, one of the assistants, was helping me pack up all the files and shit from the office. I thought I was done so we’d agreed to go out after we were done for a drink to the end of the year and my lecturing career. Instead I got the fucking extension.’ Malcolm sighed again. ‘Instead of a drink… we.. ‘ Malcolm covered his eyes. ‘We went to my place and fucked.’

‘No shame in that. You were both single. Wouldn’t be the first one off in the world.’

‘It’s not that, John. She was fucking great in bed. Left after I passed out. Never seen her again and probably won’t hear from her again ever. But it got me thinking.’

‘Of what you’re missing?’ John guessed. Malcolm nodded. ‘You need to get out and meet people, Malcolm.’

‘Do you know how fucking long it’s been since I’ve tried to pull?’

‘If I recall you were quite good at it before you got involved with your ex.’ John smiled at Malcolm. ‘There were plenty of hearts you broke.’ 

‘Just had to get that in didn’t you?’ Malcolm shot his friend a look, but smiled after. It was an old joke between the two of them that John had had a go at Malcolm before they’d become fast friends. 

‘Hearts do heal in time, Malcolm.’ John finished his coffee and stood up, taking Malcolm’s empty mug from him as well. ‘So, not looking at going to clubs to find your next lady love?’

‘Fuck no. I’d have no fucking hope at a club nowadays. Too fucking old.’

‘I doubt you’d want to go to any of my usual haunts.’ John laughed at Malcolm’s snort. ‘Look, I’ve got a new exhibit starting next Friday. Come along. There’s usually a good mix of people and it’d be a start to get you connecting with more New Yorkers.’  
‘I’m not sure about that, John. Last time I was at your exhibit the only action I got was a young man groping my fucking ass.’

‘Wear a longer suit jacket to hide it then. You’ve been graced with a very lovely tush, it’s no wonder some of the lads want to touch it.’ John washed up the mugs. ‘Different exhibits will get different crowds. It’s a start at least, Malcolm.’

‘It’s not one of those fucking nearly naked men exhibits is it?’

‘No, still not one of those!’ John laughed. ‘But you’d be wanting to come to those. You think it’s only the lads that show up wanting them but the number of women that buy those pieces would make even your cold Scottish bollocks warm up happily.’

‘Yeah well if the women that show up at those exhibits are buying those types of pieces they’re not going to be aching from my cold Scottish bollocks.’ Malcolm got up. ‘Next Friday?’

‘Yes, next Friday. Give it a shot then?’ 

‘Yeah, okay, I’ll give it a shot. At least it’ll get me out of the fucking flat and get a few free drinks.’

‘Hah! Now that’s a real Scotsman speaking!’ John chuckled. 

‘Speaking of exhibits. You have a piece hanging down there right now, the Brooklyn Bridge one. Is that the same one that you had up the last time?’

‘No. It’s by the same photographer but it was taken on a different day. The moon is about an inch to the right from the original one. Thinking of getting it?’

‘Yeah, It’s a bit smaller than the original one but I think it’d look good on that wall above my sofa.’

‘It would. Here, I’ll come down to the gallery with you and get you sorted out with it. Give you the owner’s discount on it.’

‘You don’t have to fucking do that, John!’ Malcolm said. ‘Don’t be short-changing the photographer to give me a deal.’

‘I’d never do that, Malcolm. No, it’ll just be against my profit on it.’

‘Then you’re fucking on!’ Malcolm grinned and John just laughed again and commented on typical cheap Scotsmen.


	11. Chapter 11

Friday night, Malcolm stood in front of the mirror as he was getting ready to go to the gallery. He was questioning the sanity of going to an art gallery to try and pick up a lady. At least he’d get some free drinks and a night out. Running his fingers through his beard, Malcolm picked up the small pair of trimming scissors and tidied up some stray hairs. ‘Not some fucking grumpy Greek, ya fucker.’ Malcolm muttered as he trimmed his beard. He’ll keep the damn beard for as long as it annoyed John. Prove to the fucker that he was a stubborn Scot. Malcolm grinned, satisfied with his efforts.   
Pulling on his suit, Malcolm had taken John’s advice and picked one that had a long enough jacket to entirely cover his rear. Slipping his phone and his wallet into his pockets, he was heading out of his flat to the subway. By the time he’d arrived at the gallery, his skepticism was as high as ever but he was looking forward to the evening out regardless. 

The exhibit this time was a mash-up it seemed. Photography mixed with painting which made the pieces a bit more abstract than he normally liked. Grabbing a glass of wine, Malcolm began to wander about the gallery to check out the work and the others attending the event. As he expected there were quite a few younger men. John certainly attracted them, Malcolm thought. Thankfully this time round none of them were keying in on him. Near the rear of the gallery was a rather large piece that had attracted a number of clustered groups talking about it. As he looked at it, his attention wasn’t completely on it. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted something familiar. 

Turning his head, he spotted her again. The lady from the airport! Fucking hell, he thought to himself. Here? How the fuck could she turn up here! Fuck that, he told himself off. She was here and that’s what the fuck mattered. Swallowing hard, he moved closer through the crowd of people. As he got a better look at her, he was 100 per cent sure it was her. It was the exact same leather jacket, snug around her. Her hair was a little shorter but still looked silky and soft. He must have groaned aloud because he got an odd look from a stranger standing near him. 

She was chatting with a few people near her, he could see her lips moving. Fuck, those lips! He was closer to her now than he had been at the airport. She looked more gorgeous than before. A soft smile on her lips in response to what someone had said to her. Malcolm was grateful for the longer suit jacket. Not only was it keeping his ass being a ‘come and fuck me’ signpost for the young men but it was also hiding what was a growing problem at his crotch. She had the same effect on him this time as she had over a year ago. He ached to just go up to her, drop to a knee and beg her to be his forever but the bittersweet memory of the man she’d been with at the airport stabbed into his heart. Take what you can fucking get, Malcolm old boy, he thought to himself. 

Staying to one side and a slight distance apart, he watched her every move. The way she lifted the glass to her lips to drink. The crushing of his heart continued when he saw the wedding ring on her finger. He wondered only briefly where her husband was in this crowd. Probably one of the young successful punks that littered the fucking gallery. Too much fucking money to know what to do with it so they buy fucking crap such as this art, he thought. Then she was gesturing at the picture before them and his attention was sucked back to just her. Her long slender fingers. Why the fuck was he torturing himself this way? She’s obviously fucking married. Younger. But she was so fucking beautiful! 

‘SARAH!’ John’s voice rose over the general noise of the crowd. Malcolm had been staring at his airport crush and saw her reaction to John’s call. She turned towards the sound of John’s voice, her smile brightening and her hand waving to get his attention. John knows her? Malcolm couldn’t believe it. The woman he’s been lusting after in his dreams knows his best friend! Fucking hell! Astounded, he watched as John wove his way through the crowd towards her.

‘Sarah.’ He whispered her name aloud, scowling at the glance he got from a woman beside him. Her name is Sarah. God, such a beautiful perfect name for her. John was hugging her, planting a kiss on her forehead before talking to her for a few minutes. Malcolm just kept watching. If John knew her then maybe Malcolm could ask some subtle questions about her. Find out more. He mumbled her name under his breath as he stared at her talking to John. What happened next totally fucked Malcolm’s head up. John, an arm draped over her shoulders, was leading her towards him! What the fuck was he going to do? 

‘Malcolm! Old friend! It’s about time you two met!’ John was beaming proudly. 

Hoping he didn’t look or sound like a total twat, Malcolm smiled at his friend and then to her. ‘Who’s this then? One of those sexy models you photograph?’

‘Malcolm! Shame on you!’ John looked shocked but knew Malcolm’s brand of humour. ‘No, no model. Malcolm, I’d like to introduce you to my god-daughter, Sarah.’

‘Your what?’ Malcolm’s eyes went wide. 

‘John’s my godfather.’ Sarah spoke, her voice was like nothing he could ever have imagined. 

‘You never mentioned a god-daughter!’ Malcolm accused his old friend. 

‘I know. It just never came up.’ John looked suitably sorry at his friend. ‘Sarah’s been living in Portugal. Anyway, Sarah, this is my old friend Malcolm. He writes one of those dreadful political columns in the paper.’

‘Hello, Malcolm.’ Sarah’s hand stretched to his and he took it, hoping the trembling wasn’t noticeable, and lifted it to his lips to kiss it. ‘Oh my.’ She smiled at him and he felt his entire insides melt at her response. ‘So, you’re a journalist.’

‘Columnist.’ He clarified. ‘My journalist days are well past me.’

‘I’m studying to be a photojournalist. John shared his love of photography with me when I was younger.’ Sarah turned to look at John, smiling at her god-father. ‘Decided it was time to move here to New York to further my studies.’

‘Another transplanted European then.’

‘My father was originally from New York. So more like a homecoming of sorts.’ Sarah explained as just a touch of a shadow of sadness passed over her eyes. 

‘Her father was a close friend of mine from our high school days. You never met him.’ John explained. 

Sarah interrupted John before he could say anything else. ‘I’m going to head home, John. I’ll see you next week. Nice meeting you, Malcolm.’ 

Malcolm watched her walk away. ‘Always a surprise with you.’ Malcolm said. ‘There’s a story isn’t there? One she didn’t want to hear?’

‘It’s her story, actually. I won’t go into great detail but her father and I were very close friends through high school and into college. He got married and I was his best man. His wife, Sarah’s mother, always accused me of trying to turn her husband gay. Robert, Sarah’s father, was never that to me. He was my dear friend. Much like you are, Malcolm. But his wife never accepted that. It was always a sore point but Robert always insisted that I be Sarah’s god-father. They lived here in New York until Sarah was 10 years old.’ It was John’s turn to look sad. ‘You never met Robert because he died in a traffic accident. Before I met you. I wound up in England to escape the city for a while.’

‘Fuck. You never said anything.’ Malcolm grimaced at his friend’s pain. 

‘No. It was an escape and a hope too. Sarah’s mother took her to Portugal. All her family was there. She had no support here in New York. I moved to England hoping that I’d be able to visit Sarah but her mother banished me from Sarah’s life. All I could do was write letters to her. But, she’s grown up and does her own thing now. So, here she is back in New York and I’m helping her as much as I can with her career.’ John was beaming again. ‘How about you, Malcolm? Any prospects in the crowd tonight.’

‘There was one but… it’s a bust.’ Malcolm couldn’t look John in the eye at that moment. Of course it wouldn’t be up to John to mention her marriage. 

‘Ah, have to go, Malcolm. Being the boss I have to keep on the move. Talk to you later!’ John was off to mingle with some new arrivals that looked like they had deep wallets. Part photographer and part salesman, that was what made John so fucking successful, Malcolm thought, impressed by his friend. 

For his part, Malcolm found himself slightly depressed but thrilled at the same time. He knew her name, knew that she lived in New York now, knew that she was close to John. So there was likely chance he’d see her again. Still didn’t help that she was married, but he could at least see her again. Malcolm couldn’t stand hanging around any longer and headed for his flat.

Inside his flat, Malcolm could finally let out the breath he’d been holding inside since seeing her again. With the door locked behind him, he leaned against it and unbuttoned his jacket. ‘Did that just fucking happen to me?’ He groaned and rubbed at his eyes. Alone, he became consciously aware of the straining of his crotch. Despite knowing she’s married, she’s John’s god-daughter, he couldn’t fucking stop himself getting stiffer than a post in her presence. He dropped his hand to his groin and began to massage himself. Unlike the first time he’d seen her at the airport, this time there was no long hours of flight with no relief. This time he could take care of himself properly. Unzipping his trousers and loosening his belt, Malcolm was soon pushing his boxers down past his erect cock and stroking his exposed member. ‘Fuck yes,’ He groaned as he gripped his cock hard, sliding up and down the length. His eyes closed tightly as he thought about Sarah. Her brown hair cascading over her shoulders. Her lips he imagined would be so incredibly soft and warm as he kissed her. 

As he pumped his cock, his fantasy went further. He was taking her to the sofa, undressing her and laying her back on it. His lips hungrily sucking on her breasts while his hands ranged over her body, stroking her soft skin until they found their way between her legs. Malcolm’s tongue ran over his lips, fantasizing about how wet and ready she would be for him. As he imagined her hands on him, he moved his hips as if he was making love to her right there in his flat. ‘Fuck.. Sarah… ‘ He sighed her name as he frantically masturbated. He groaned out her name as he shot his load. Sagging back against the door, his semen dripping onto his hand, Malcolm just stood there for a few minutes. ‘Just how the fuck does a woman get so far into my head?’ With a push, he left the door and headed to the washroom to clean up.


	12. Chapter 12

The next three weeks were a blur for Malcolm. The insanity of a snap election call over in the UK had him being asked to do an extra piece for the paper. On top of that, he had to make time to at least review the first month of lectures and make notes on them to bring them current if he were to make them relevant to today. Twice through those weeks, John had called him asking him to come by the studio and catch up but he just couldn’t spare the time. He’d tried to convince Malcolm to at least go to dinner but he put it off. Their last conversation was left with John berating him for going down the same path as he had in London when he’d started at Number 10. Malcolm had just barked at John about wanting to be his wife and hung up on his old friend. 

Finally, he’d finished his feature piece for the paper and was ready for the first day of class. He’d made a point of going to a barber for a proper haircut and trim of his beard. Malcolm slipped on his best suit jacket and straightened his tie before heading to the subway to get to the lecture hall on the campus. This years group of teaching assistants were already there at the hall when he arrived. They’d had a meeting the previous week to go over the plan for the class and he’d made it clear to them that they’d be responsible for a lot of the more administrative aspects of the class. All except one of them had attended the class the year before as post-grads and were familiar with his lectures already. The one who he’d not met before had been a transfer from some University on the west coast. They all seemed to be on the ball and ready to go. 

The Department Head had warned him that the class was at capacity but he’d had no idea what that meant. One of them held open the hall door for him and he stepped in. It was a different hall than the one the year before. And twice the fucking size, Malcolm thought as he strode to the lectern. And every fucking seat was full. The assistants found seats to leave Malcolm on his own at the front of the large hall. There had to be about 200 students in total. 

‘So,’ Malcolm placed his folder with his opening lecture on the lectern before he took a long look at the assembled group. ‘Political Journalism. That means that the lot of you have aspirations to be either manipulated or to be the manipulators. Because that is what it means to be in political journalism. And I should fucking know.’ In his element, he unbuttoned his suit jacket and began to stride back and forth in front of the students. ‘The whole point of being a politician is to feed bullshit to the public in a form that they will eat up as if it’s the tastiest bit of dessert and then they’ll trot like a herd of sheep to the polling booths and put a big fucking tick beside your or your candidate’s name. Or, and this is the most painful lesson you will fucking learn, you will be the one those manipulators are going to use to shovel that pile of shite into your reader’s brains.’

He stood still at the lectern and gazed around the entire room. ‘But, and this is one big fucking but, you can twist it to your own terms if you want to and if you pay attention in this class. Because I’ve been in both tents pissing out. I was a journalist just like you all want to be. I didn’t get to go to the whole university class thing. I got in early and just covered the news until I learned what I needed to go up the ranks. I used what I learned to skip from journalism to the back halls of government. Because those limp-dicked ministers don’t know anything aside from spewing out what they need to to get elected. Once they do, they need people like you to think for them. If you become one of those manipulators you’ll know how to do it so fucking well that no one will know you’re doing it. And if you’re the one being manipulated, you’ll know that you are and you can use that to your benefit. Especially if you can keep the manipulators from learning that you know what they’re doing.’

A single hand went up in the crowd. ‘Sir?’

‘These are lectures not question periods.’ Malcolm scowled at the student. ‘One time only. What’s your question.’

‘Observation, sir.’ The thick-rimmed glasses on the student’s face made it look like he was peering through bottle-tops. ‘There’s a flaw in your logic, Sir. If all of us here are going to be either manipulators or manipulated, then both parties will already know that the other is on to them.’

Malcolm laughed in response. ‘Look around you. All of you. Do you think you’re going to remember every single fucking face here? Years after this class, who’s going to know who learned what and who will be where. You’ll never be sure if the person you’re up against learned the same lessons as you but if you take out of this what you need to take care of yourself, then you’ll be the winner. Because no matter what the fuck side you’re on, you’ll have a job to do and that job is what is going to dictate what you need to be.’ The student sat back down, quieted for the moment and Malcolm was left to begin the rest of his opening lecture.

Once the lecture was over, Malcolm was quickly gathering up his notes and putting them in his folder. The assistants were fielding any questions or comments from the students. The next lecture was scheduled in two days time and he’d have to be in his office for four hours the next day and then the morning before the second lecture of the week. His office schedule had been posted for everyone on the chalkboard. All he wanted to do right now was to get to his office for a well-deserved cup of coffee and a follow up meeting with the assistants. 

He quickly left the hall to get to his office before the rest of them. The sound of someone calling his name from behind him made him stop his quick strides and look back, ready to give vent to a student bothering him. His harsh words went unsaid as he saw that it was Sarah walking briskly down the hall towards him, her hair flouncing on her shoulders at her efforts. ‘Malcolm!’

‘Sarah?’ He furrowed his brows in curiosity. ‘What are you doing here?’

She caught up to him, breathing heavily a moment before she answered him. ‘I’m here to continue my studies. Remember? I told you that when we met at John’s gallery.’

‘Oh, you’re studying here at this University then?’ 

‘John never mentioned your last name. I had no idea it was you doing the lectures. You’re only listed as M. Tucker in the syllabus.’ 

‘Sorry? What?’

‘I’m studying journalism and photography. Well, mainly photography, the journalism is more for information. I’m glad I picked this series. I’m already getting a great insight into the political world thanks to you.’ Sarah smiled at him. ‘I look forward to your next lecture.’

Malcolm was at a loss for words. She was going to be in his class. All fucking year long. How the fuck was he going to survive! ‘Ah, yeah. I’ll try to live up to your expectations then.’ Malcolm tried to smile but only managed a crooked one. ‘Sarah.’ 

‘See you on Thursday.’ Sarah was off and away, leaving him standing there in a confused state. Clearing his throat, all Malcolm could do was continue on to his office. At least, sitting behind a desk would help hide his reaction to thinking about her in his class.


	13. Chapter 13

The next few weeks of classes were a challenge for Malcolm. Every time he arrived at the hall, his eyes would scan the room to locate her without drawing any attention to what he was doing. As soon as he located where she was sitting he made a concerted effort for the duration of the lecture to avoid looking in her direction. The tactic seemed to work for the most part, he didn’t wind up with an erection every time. The bonus was that she never dropped by his office to join in any of the question sessions. That would have pushed him over the edge. Getting home after the last lecture of the third week, Malcolm found a message waiting for him on his home phone. As he played the message, he was making himself a coffee. 

‘Malcolm, you grumpy Greek, if you’re there you’d better pick up the phone. Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and think you’re not there. New exhibit up this Friday. You’d better be there. All work and no play makes Malcolm a sexually repressed foul mouthed Scotsman. Wear a kilt for me!’ John’s laughter echoed as the recording stopped. 

‘Ass.’ Malcolm chuckled as he dumped sugar into his coffee. He picked up the phone. put it on speaker and dialed his friend’s number. 

‘Hello?’ Instead of John, a younger hispanic voice answered. 

‘Pedro? It’s Malcolm.’

‘Ah, Malcolm. John’s been fretting about you. You are coming to the show tomorrow?”

‘It’s not one of his porn shows is it?’ Malcolm asked.

‘John would never invite you to one of those, Malcolm. He knows you don’t like them.’ 

‘Alright, well, tell the twat I’ll be there then.’

‘I will, Malcolm. He’ll be happy to see you there.’


	14. Chapter 14

Arriving at the gallery, Malcolm found the crowd to be a lighter one. One thing that he realized rather quickly was that the photographs were all studies of people in crowds. Each one had areas of focus usually on the eyes or the mouths. And they all had a hint of sadness to them. 

‘Malcolm!’ John announced his presence behind him. ‘You foul mouthed Scot. What are you up to?’

‘Still looking.’ Malcolm admitted. ‘This is a bit of a different exhibit than the norm.’

‘Every artist has their own themes they work towards.’ John said. ‘What do you think?’

‘A bit of a downer I’d say. But the way the focus is used to bring out the features of the faces is pretty amazing.’

‘I know.’

‘Malcolm! John!” Sarah’s voice interrupted him before he could say anything further. ‘I’m beginning to suspect that when the two of you are off talking together without witnesses that there’s funny business dealings going on.’

‘Sarah! I never mix business with pleasure.’ John protested. ‘And Malcolm is all pleasure for me.’ He dramatically winked as he draped an arm around Malcolm’s shoulders. ‘But I refuse to kiss him while he’s got this bloody beard.’

Malcolm knocked John’s arm off his shoulders. ‘Looks like I’m keeping it full force then for a long time to come!’

John laughed, ‘Ah, one day, Malcolm. One day! Off I go you two. Pedro’s waving madly for my attention. At least he doesn’t have a beard.’

‘Never changes.’ Malcolm shook his head with a smile. ‘What do you think of the exhibit? I was just telling John that I thought the subject matter a bit depressing.’

‘John didn’t tell you who the photographer is?’ Sarah asked.

‘No, just what I saw coming in. Some S. Brandt.’

‘And that, Malcolm,’ Sarah smiled sadly at him, ‘would be me.’

‘You? You’ve done these?’ Malcolm’s eyes widened. ‘Shit, I .. ah.. fuck..’

‘No, Malcolm. Don’t go thinking you’ve put your foot in your mouth. They are depressing. I was hoping that they’d help but not as much as I’d hoped.’ Her thumb moved slightly to rub against the ring on her finger.

‘Help with what?” Malcolm’s curiosity was piqued but the look on her face made him regret his question. ‘Sorry.’

‘No. It’s alright Malcolm. I’ve just been trying to work some things out for myself. Thought the photographs would help me deal with my past. But they didn’t really. At least others are enjoying my efforts so there is that out of it.’ Malcolm made to put a hand on her shoulder but he stopped himself and Sarah never noticed. ‘John’s been very good about it. He offered the exhibit time for my works and let me use his studio for some of the work. It’s been quite the learning process, going from just taking the photos and playing with them on a computer to adjust the focus on them and now to see them in a gallery on display.’

‘It doesn’t mean much I guess, but I’m impressed with your work.’

‘Thanks, Malcolm. It actually means a lot.’ Sarah’s eyes misted over as he watched her. This time, his reaction was instinctive as he reached up with a finger to wipe the tear that fell from her eye. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s alright. Whatever you need to deal with had an impact on you.’

‘Memories now.’ Her thumb was rubbing the wedding ring on her finger again, her gaze locked on it. ‘There used to be a good man who’d be there for me. Not any more though.’ She looked up at Malcolm again. ‘Thank you, Malcolm. Try to enjoy the rest of your evening.’   
Malcolm wanted to say something but she was too quick to leave him on his own. Milling about for a while longer at the gallery, John eventually made his way back to Malcolm. ‘Where’d Sarah go? Haven’t seen her in a bit.’

‘Yeah. I think she ran off. I was talking to her and she was on the verge of crying. I didn’t mean to upset her. I had no idea she was the photographer.’

‘Damn.’ John muttered. ‘I had hoped this would be healing not tip her back into grief.’

‘What happened then?’ Malcolm asked. 

‘All I can say is that history repeated for her. She lost her husband recently.’

‘Shit!’ Malcolm went white. ‘I had no idea. Anything I can do?’

‘Time is what Sarah needs. That and friends. That’s why she came over here to New York. She was getting no help from her mother or her side of the family. I’m pretty much the only supporting family she’s got now. As to what you can do? Be a friend if you want to be. She’s certainly heard me witter on about you long enough to know you. She’s been impressed by your lecturing.’

‘Well, I try.’ Malcolm looked humble. ‘I hate seeing her so sad, John. She’s too young and lovely a woman to be that down. Look, when you speak to her next let her know that if she needs to talk or just needs a shoulder to cry on, I can be there to help.’

‘Thanks, Malcolm. I’ll let her know.’ John thanked his old friend.


	15. Chapter 15

For Malcolm, the weekend felt like it would drag on forever. He found his thoughts constantly going back to Sarah at the gallery. Maybe if she’d fell to full on sobs he’d then have had a chance to hug her and help her cry it out but she’d kept it inside her heart. It hadn’t stopped her sadness showing in her face and her eyes though. That had been the part that cut deep into his soul, knowing that the woman he would so willingly do anything for wasn’t even aware of his fascination for her. To take his mind off Sarah, he focused on his catching up on the news from back in the UK and Europe to keep on top of what he planned for the weeks column. 

Reading political news would only take him so far and late in the evening on Saturday, he’d exhausted all of the newspapers and magazines for the week. He thought about turning on his laptop and start on the online updates but muttered a ‘fuck it’ under his breath. Instead, grabbing a bottle of scotch, Malcolm settled on his sofa with the television on his regular news programming. With the latest world disasters being expounded on Malcolm’s glass was slowly emptied and then topped up. As it emptied a second time, the remote was in his hand and he turned the channel to some romantic movie. He had no clue as to what the title was or who the actors even were but he kept watching as the couple had a lovely meal together and then dancing together alone in a sitting room with some jazz playing. 

It was no real surprise to Malcolm when he found himself thinking about Sarah and himself in a similar scenario. The joy he would take in making her a meal, serving it to her, pouring her a glass of wine. Complimenting her on how beautiful she was and then leading her by the hand to dance close. With that fantasy in his mind, Malcolm was soon ignoring the movie on the television and rubbing the growing bulge in his trousers. Popping open his trousers, Malcolm had his hand around his cock to stroke it slowly. While the movie moved onto a different scene, he was still thinking of Sarah and himself dancing together. His hips against hers. His lips finding hers. Malcolm’s eyes closed, shutting out all but the background noise of the movie to lose himself in the growing fantasy in his head. Their bodies were moving closer together, her hips now were grinding against him, her whole body eager for him. Fuck, he wanted her so badly. Gripping himself as tightly as he could in his hand, Malcolm was furiously pumping his erection. Too soon, he was groaning as he came. 

‘Fucking hell,’ He groaned afterwards as he sat there, catching his breath. ‘Why do you fucking mess with my head like this?’ Shutting the television off, he headed to bed with the vain hope that his dreams weren’t all about Sarah.


	16. Chapter 16

The next few weeks fell into a comfortable routine for Malcolm. He’d gotten used to the fact that Sarah was in his class. Every class, his eyes would seek her out, confirm that she was there and then he would deliberately not look at her or even the area she sat in for the entire duration of the lecture. Then he would stop at the coffee shop between the lecture hall and his office, grab a large coffee and settle in at his office to catch up on some of his reading until the first q&a session with any of the students that wanted to drop by. There was always a number of them wanting to ask questions about the day’s lectures and he would answer them as best as he could. A lot of times, he’d send them off with tasks to read for themselves some of the magazines and articles he did. 

What always annoyed him was that Sarah never came by his office for the q&a sessions. He knew from the teaching assistants how all the students were doing in general. Her attendance was good, in the study groups she did quite well according to the reports but she’d never come to his office. It annoyed him but he would always catch himself on that thought with the realization that if she were to show up at his office and be in such close company, there’d be no hope in fucking hell that he’d not get an erection and wind up getting found out as some perverted old man lusting after a young woman. So, better that she never show up at all.

One day though, the peaceful routine was wrenched sideways for Malcolm as he stood at the counter of the coffee shop waiting for his coffee and being told that it’d be a few minutes as they’d run out of coffee and were waiting for fresh coffee to brew. ‘How the fucking hell does a COFFEE shop run the fuck out of coffee? It’s what you sell to everyone!’ Malcolm fell into old habits. 

‘We’ve had one of the coffee makers break down. We’re keeping up best we can, sir.’ The young man, a student on campus working part time, was trying his best to calm Malcolm down but there was no real hope for him.

‘A fucking coffee maker broke down? Then why would you stay the fuck open! Don’t you have some fucking twat on call to bust his bollocks and get over here to fix it? You’re on a fucking university campus! All of the fucking zombie students live on this shit you brew! You’re going to have a fucking queue of fucking half-dead zombie students lined up on the pavement outside dead because YOU can’t make FUCKING COFFEE!’

‘It’ll just be a few more minutes, sir. I’m really sorry.’

‘Fucking hell, son. There was an ad I saw once, from bean to cup you fuck up! And that’s what this place is right now. Fucked up!’

‘Hey, mister. Tone it down. It’s just coffee.’ The man standing in the queue behind was taking a dislike to Malcolm’s foul language. 

‘Are you talking to me?” Malcolm turned his attentions to the stranger. 

‘Yeah, I am.’ The man squared up his shoulders. ‘Anyone who needs to use language like that to get their point across is pretty lame in my opinion. Try using real words.’

Malcolm, laughed sarcastically. ‘Real words? You want real words?’ He made to approach the man when all of a sudden there was a hand on his arm. He turned to vent his frustration at whoever it was that dared to interrupt him when he noticed it was Sarah.

‘Malcolm, why don’t you come and join me while you wait for your coffee to be made.’ Her voice was the proverbial music to soothe the savage beast. Malcolm just shot a last glaring look at the stranger, then at the young man desperately trying to keep making coffee to keep up with the orders, before he let Sarah lead him off to a far corner of the coffee shop. He sat across from her, watching as she closed her laptop and slipped it into a satchel hanging off the back of her chair. She had been nursing a large coffee herself. ‘You’re not the most patient man, are you, Malcolm?’

‘It’s the fucking principle.’ He grumbles. ‘Coffee shops should always have coffee ready to serve. Fucking waiting five minutes for a coffee is a fucking waste of breath.’ His finger was beating a tattoo on the table, manifesting his impatience in a physical form. Her hand closed over his, stopping his tapping. 

‘Sit and talk with me a bit if that will help you wait.’ Sarah offered.

‘You’re one of my students. Probably get some fucking complaint lodged against me for that.’ Malcolm shot a look around the coffee shop, wondering if anyone were watching them. In his own head, the whole situation was starting to scream out as inappropriate.

‘We’re having a coffee, Malcolm. Well, I am so far.’ She smiled at the small joke she had made, hoping it would break through his continued frustration. ‘Stop fussing. They’ll bring it over when it’s ready.’ Her hand squeezed his lightly.

‘Sorry.’ He finally felt some of the tension ease out of him. ‘I can’t really wait long. I’ve got a stack of shit to read through today.’

‘For your column?’

‘Yeah.’ His eyes couldn’t rest on her, not without ‘things’ happening to him. Instead, he kept looking towards the counter in anticipation of his coffee. 

‘I’m sure you’ll be fine. I read your column every week. You should make it required reading for the course.’

‘Fuck no!’ Malcolm retorted. ‘I’d likely get bollocked for promoting one paper over the others in this godforsaken sewage pit of a city.’

‘Don’t let real New Yorkers hear you call their city a sewage pit.’ Sarah was teasing him again. ‘Of course it is a sewage pit, but only New Yorkers can call it that out loud.’

‘Sorry sir, here’s your coffee. Sorry for the wait. This one’s on the manager.’ The young man had brought him over his coffee and refused to take the money for it. ‘Just.. please…’

‘Fuck off!’ Malcolm took the coffee, shoved the $5 bill into the young man’s shirt pocket and waved him away. The young man tried to fish the money out to give it back to Malcolm. ‘I said FUCK OFF. And if you think about giving that back to me it’ll be shoved up your arse instead. Then you’ll have to launder it before you use it for yourself.’ That was enough to send the young man trotting back behind the counter. 

‘Have you ever tried to say things nicely to others?” Sarah looked bemused at Malcolm’s behaviour.

‘I’m fucking Scottish and an ex-political media man. Yeah, I fucking speak like this all the time.’

‘Even to your mother?’ 

‘Who the fuck do you think taught me how to curse properly?’ Malcolm laughed along with Sarah. ‘It gets things done that need to be done.’

‘You’ve probably traumatized that man for years to come.’

‘Fuck that, he’ll probably become fucking manager of this place in a year’s time. Knowing how to handle fucking customers is the best thing that would ever happen to him.’ Malcolm took the lid off his coffee to sip at it. ‘At least it’s fucking fresh. Usually it’s sat a bit before I get it. So one fucking good thing.’ 

Sarah, her hands around her own coffee once more, was trying to get him to look at her but not succeeding. ‘Malcolm, the other day at the gallery.’ She paused, trying to think of what she wanted to say. Malcolm stopped breathing for a moment, thankful that his beard was masking a good part of the emotions that he was feeling right at that time. ‘I’ve been thinking about how I left you standing there without any explanation.’

‘No, you explained yourself. You lost someone important to you. That’s never fucking easy to get over. You’re doing what you can.’ He couldn’t help looking at her now, not with her using that heartrendingly sad voice. ‘John told me that it was your husband.’ The mentioning of her husband had her thumb rubbing against the wedding ring on her finger again. She gazed past Malcolm and out of the shop window, obvious that memories were what she was looking at not the world around her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad again.’

‘His name was Ryan.’ She spoke quietly. ‘We’d been in college together. Both of us were working on degrees in art. Me with my photography, he was more into sketching and drawing. We both wound up in post-grad work at the Universidad de Nova Lisboa. We were close to graduating with our Masters and for fun one day I took a series of photographs while he was sketching in the park for his portfolio. That’s when I fell in love with him.’

Malcolm felt his heart tighten in his chest. ‘Sounds like quite the gentleman.’

‘Ryan was more than just a gentleman. He was a beautiful soul.’ Again, the sadness crept into her voice. ‘I remember him sketching me the morning after our wedding. He’d never sketched me before then. He always said that he wanted the first picture he drew of me to be the one where he could capture me truly at peace.’ Tears began to run down Sarah’s cheeks at the memories flooding through her mind. Roughly, she wiped them away. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to carry on like that.’ 

It was Malcolm’s turn to reach out and take hold of her hand in his. ‘Don’t be sorry. Sounds like you need to get this out.’

‘I’ve only ever been able to really talk to John about Ryan.’ Sarah had grabbed a napkin off the table to dry the rest of her tears. ‘John understands what it’s like to lose someone like that.’

‘Your father?” Malcolm guessed.

‘Yes, my father.’ Sarah confirmed it. ‘John always denies it but I knew when I was just young and John came round to visit us. Sure I didn’t know what or why, but I knew that there was always a strong connection between my father and John. My mother hated it. But then again, I think she hated anyone for having something she couldn’t have. She hated John as much as she hated Ryan. We escaped as soon as we could. John invited us to come over here to New York but Ryan couldn’t get used to the pace. We moved back to Portugal. Ryan found work at a resort at Miramar, in the north of Portugal. I easily got constant work during tourist seasons to take photos and portraits. He would freelance with drawings as well. It was far enough away from my mother and her family.’

Malcolm listened intently, his hand still holding hers. His coffee had been forgotten. 

Sarah continued her story. ‘One day, Ryan was at the resort and had been asked to accompany a group of tourists out on some small boat. The authorities never really were able to say what happened but Ryan drowned somehow. They think that one of the lines wound round him and when he fell overboard in a swell, he was tipped out. The line got caught round him and he was choked before the other staff members on the boat could get him out of the water.’

‘Shit.’ He breathed out the word. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘Thanks.’ Her smile was genuine and made him melt inside. ‘I really appreciate you listening. I didn’t mean to say anything. Just wanted to apologize for what happened at the gallery.’

‘I understand, Sarah. And if you ever need to talk again just let me know.’

‘I will, Malcolm. Thanks.’ Her hand was squeezing his again. 

They were interrupted by a buzzing sound from Malcolm’s pocket. He was grabbing his mobile and answering it. ‘Shit, Sarah, I have to go. I was supposed to be at my office already. Had a meeting with the TA’s.’

‘Not to worry, Malcolm. I’ve kept you too long. See you in class on Thursday.’

‘Definitely. And look,’ Malcolm was on his feet but took hold of her hand one last time. ‘I didn’t mean to call your work depressing. It’s not really. It was just.. sad.’

‘That was the point, Malcolm.’


	17. Chapter 17

Malcolm’s regular ritual of stopping at the coffee shop after every lecture on his way back to his office changed again the following Tuesday. There wasn’t any delays in getting his coffee but Sarah was there again. Off in her corner with her laptop open on the table. He wondered why he had never noticed her sitting there before. Now that he had seen her there the once, he looked for her deliberately and she was there. Coffee in hand, he went to her table. ‘May I?’ He asked.

‘Oh, Malcolm!’ She glanced up with a start. ‘Of course. Please.’ She put away her laptop. ‘I promise I won’t get depressing on you this time. Do you have a TA meeting again?’

‘No. Not this time.’ He rested his folder on the table and popped the lid off his coffee to sip at it. ‘You going to be doing another exhibit at the gallery soon?’

‘No. That was a one off. I’m not going to bother John for another favour.’

‘I thought it was well done, the exhibit.’

‘It was beautifully done. I expected that from John. He knows what he’s doing with art and photography. There was only a few sales.’

‘Shit, didn’t people realize how good your work was?’

‘There was plenty of praise.’ Sarah said, ‘But the theme wasn’t exactly one to encourage purchases.’

‘Would you want to do another exhibit? A proper one?”

‘One day, yes. But not until I have an appropriate theme and collection.’

‘Let me know if you need me to twist John’s arm for you.’ Malcolm winked at her, joking about John. 

‘You twist his arm and I’ll tug on his heart strings. He’ll never survive!’ They were both laughing now and continued to chat until Malcolm’s coffee was finished.


	18. Chapter 18

It was another Friday night and John had insisted once again that Malcolm come to the opening night of the next exhibit. As he got ready he wondered if Sarah would be there that night. ‘Fucking idiot.’ He told his reflection in the mirror. ‘You keep lusting after a younger woman who is obviously not interested in you. Most you can hope for is a casual friendship with her. Still fucking hot though.’ Pushing those thoughts aside, he finished trimming up his beard and ran a comb through his salt and pepper hair. 

Entering the gallery, Malcolm groaned inwardly. The front window display was a set of smaller images all of men’s chests. John had promised him that there’d be no naked men in the display and there’d be plenty of single women showing up. It wasn’t the number of single women that would be there that gave Malcolm pause, it was more the fear that it would be him getting hit on by other men. The wrong sort of attention that he was after. As he began to wander about the gallery, it was definitely more heavy on the women in the attendees. Not that many of them were interested in him. He kept hoping that Sarah would be there but so far no luck. 

Malcolm was about to start on his second glass of free wine, he’s attention was on picking a nibble off of the tray when he felt a touch on his back. Surprised, he turned to see Sarah standing there. Stuck with an hors d'oeuvre in one hand and a glass of wine in the other he just grinned stupidly at her until she took the initiative and kissed him lightly on the cheek. The look on her face was almost the same look that John typically gave him over his full beard. ‘Didn’t think you’d be here.’ He commented as she was getting herself a glass. 

‘John talked me into it. He hates me spending the weekends all on my own but he can’t always have me hanging around the studio all the time either. Most weekends he doesn’t have clients but this weekend and next he has some big projects on his schedule.’

‘What? I’d think he’d be more than happy to have you helping him.’ 

‘Sometimes it’s not the best to have a lady around.’ Sarah responded discreetly. The penny dropped in Malcolm’s head and he just nodded, letting it drop. ‘I take it John bullied you into showing up as well? I can’t imagine you’d have been wanting to look at men’s muscled chests’

Malcolm was grateful for his beard as he felt himself beginning to blush. ‘He did. He keeps assuring me that it’s the best way for me to find a lady friend. All I’ve gotten so far from these gallery events was a guy copping a feel of my ass.’

Sarah laughed at the image. ‘That’s John to a tee.’

As the two of them talked, John had managed to extract himself from one group of admiring attendees to head over to speak to Sarah and Malcolm but he paused as he watched them interact. He’d been down this road before with Robert. Watching from afar as the man he could so easily have spent the rest of his life with was falling for a woman. The way Malcolm was devoting all of his attention on Sarah was the same. He couldn’t say the same for Sarah though. She was certainly paying attention to him but there wasn’t the same level of devotion. Pedro came up beside him, just touching his hand briefly to get his attention. 

‘You look torn, John. I can’t tell if your happy, sad or ready to kill someone.’

‘Ah, Pedro. I couldn’t tell you where I am either.’ John kept watching Malcolm and Sarah. ‘What do you see?’ He pointed at them.

‘I see a man chatting up a woman as if he were going to ask her out on a date.’

‘That look he’s giving her is more than just asking her out on a date, Pedro.’

‘He has to start somewhere.’

‘But with my god-daughter?” 

‘Sarah’s a grown woman.’ Pedro pointed out the obvious. ‘Let her make her own mind up. She doesn’t look as interested in him anyway.’

‘I hope he doesn’t get too serious with her.’ John frowned slightly. As he kept watching them, Sarah was tucking her long hair back behind her ear and Malcolm’s gaze changed from just love to almost a surging of lust. It wouldn’t have been obvious to a casual observer but John had been intensely watching them. ‘Shit!’

‘John?’ Pedro was taken off guard by John’s reaction.

‘That’s the one Malcolm told me about. He’s been fantasizing about Sarah the whole time! Remember how I joked about Malcolm’s dream lady? It fits! She was returning to Portugal at the same time Malcolm was coming to New York to live!’ 

‘You think Malcolm’s been fantasizing about Sarah?’ Pedro asked, trying to make the connection. 

‘Has to be! The timing is right, she’s brunette, long hair, and she has a jacket that matches what Malcolm was describing. And that she met up with someone at the airport that was obviously a boyfriend or more.’ John frowned again. ‘Damn it. Why does he have to want Sarah?’

‘Why is it so wrong?’ Pedro asked him. ‘The age difference between them is no different than ours.’ He looked up at John. ‘Your crush on Malcolm is going nowhere, John. Just like with Robert. Let him be. If he and Sarah get together then be happy. You know Malcolm and that he’d make a great partner for any woman.’

‘That’s not fair, Pedro.’ John glared at his young friend. ‘Not fair at all.’ In a huff, John stormed off towards the wine table with an intent to break Malcolm and Sarah up. As he neared them though, he could hear them just talking in general about photography and journalism. As soon as Sarah realized that John was there, she broke off speaking to Malcolm to hug her godfather. It was enough to make John’s dark mood lift. ‘Glad to see you here, Sarah. Malcolm.’ He nodded to his friend while keeping a protective arm around Sarah. 

‘Malcolm was telling me that you’re trying to set him up with one of your art lover clique.’

‘I am not!’ John denied it. ‘I just recommended coming to the shows to mingle. Networking. That’s all.’

‘I’m sure.’ Sarah was smiling at the reactions of both men. “Oh! There’s Diane. Sorry to ditch you boys, I haven’t seen Diane for ages.’ Before either of them could say anything more Sarah was off to catch up with someone else. 

Malcolm grabbed himself a third glass of wine and handed one to John. ‘Quite the lady your god-daughter.’

‘She is. And she’s very precious to me.’ John told Malcolm with just a slight tone of warning. Malcolm didn’t catch on though, still gazing after her as she fell to talking to her friend. ‘It’s her isn’t it, Malcolm?’

‘Hm? What do you mean?’ Malcolm turned to face his friend, leaving Sarah to her friend. 

‘Brunette, long haired, slim. She’s got a brown leather jacket.’

‘Fuck.’ Malcolm muttered. ‘Yeah. It’s her.’

‘Are you mad?’ John challenged his friend. 

‘Of course I’m fucking mad, John.’ Malcolm admitted. ‘You think I’d actually do anything with her? She’s not fucking interested in me. Fuck, John. I’m old enough to be her father.’

John stood silently, drinking his wine. ‘You could have said it was her.’

‘I didn’t fucking realize it was her until she started to show up in class. Do you think I’d deliberately lust after your god-daughter.’

‘I should hope not.’

‘Fuck this, John. I had no idea who she was when I told you about my dream lady. For all I knew she was just a stranger at the airport. Don’t fucking try to crucify me over that. I’m not going to fucking lie to you. She’s hot. I’d easily say yes to her if I had even the slightest of fucking chance. And I’d be honest with you if it were to ever happen. But I’m not a fucking fool. Best I’m going to ever get with Sarah is like I have with you. A strong friendship.’

‘Just the same.’ John grimaced. ‘Very good friends with one of them carrying more than that in their heart.’

‘Fuck, John. You going to bring that up now? Here?’ 

‘Well, what do you expect. I’ve not changed in all this time. Nor have you. Do you think I don’t know what you’re looking at for the future?’

‘Yeah, I fucking know. But I can’t help it. And you know what, John? I won’t ever fucking win her heart the way I’d want to but I promise you now that I’ll treat her just the same way you do. I’d protect her to the end of my days.’

John leaned forward to talk to him without being overheard. ‘Do you really think I would want you to live the way I’ve had to? If Sarah were to ever find out how you truly felt about her do you think she’ll react the same way I did? It’s not like she can hide behind the excuse of a gay man wanting a straight man.’

Sarah had decided to take up Diane’s offer to go to a nearby club to listen to a live band that she knew well and had made her way back to let John know what she was going to do. Neither man realized that she was nearby and able to hear them talking. She hadn’t quite made out what John had whispered to Malcolm but she could guess some of it. But she heard Malcolm’s next words quite clearly. 

Malcolm pulled back, putting some space between him and his friend. ‘She’ll never find out that I love her madly. Not from me. If she were to find out it’d be from you. Unless you’ve fucking already told Pedro. Then there’s three of us that know how I feel about her.’

‘Of course Pedro knows! You think I’d not confide in him?’ John scoffed at Malcolm. Crossing his arms across his chest, John sighed heavily. ‘Fine. I’m not going to say anything. But you had better live up to your word that if anything changes between you and Sarah you tell me. And if you even think to break her heart…’  
‘As if I would ever do that!’ Malcolm declared. ‘I swear I’ll tell you.’

Sarah watched as the men shook hands and then hugged. It was staggering to learn how Malcolm felt about her. She backed away to return to her friend. They left the gallery together but the whole time Sarah’s mind was reeling over what she’d heard. Malcolm loved her. She couldn’t cope with that. Not yet. Her thumb found her wedding ring and rubbed at it. 

Malcolm was unsettled himself. It hadn’t been the first time he’d clashed with John over the years. What bothered him wasn’t John’s attempt to restrict his behaviour around Sarah. It was the dredging up of John’s crush on him. He already knew that he’d not get anywhere with Sarah. Not as a lover anyway. He could hear John’s old argument that if Malcolm would just give him a chance he’d understand better and grow to feel the same. He’d rejected the idea from the very start. He loved John as a close friend. Malcolm would help his friend any way that he could. But the thought of being physically intimate with John repulsed him. He didn’t care what his friend did in the privacy of his own home, Malcolm just made it clear that he wanted no part of it. 

On the verge of giving up for the evening and just going back to his flat alone, Malcolm found himself working on a fourth glass of wine. 

‘Hello.’ Malcolm turned to the sound of the woman’s voice to his left. ‘Fancy meeting you here. It’s Malcolm isn’t it?’

‘Yeah. Do I know you?’

‘You know my brother. Douglas is one of your Teaching Assistants.’

‘Oh. I don’t know much about him. Just from classes.’ Malcolm was still thinking about John and Sarah more than he was paying attention to the woman beside him.

‘I’m Tracey.’

“Hello Tracey.’

‘From what Douglas has said of you I wouldn’t imagine you at an art exhibit.’

‘I’m good friends with the gallery owner.’ Malcolm explained. He lifted his glass as an explanation.

‘Is that an English accent.’

‘Scottish. Not fucking English.’ Malcolm responded automatically. 

‘Oh, sorry. Scottish. Does that mean you have a kilt?’ 

‘Fucking hell. Everyone asks that. No, I don’t have a kilt and I don’t wear fucking tartan.’ Malcolm groaned aloud. 

Tracey laughed. ‘Apologies. I’m horrible with anything that isn’t American. The accent is quite sexy though. Or is that another thing you hate being told?’  
Now Malcolm couldn’t help but laugh with her. ‘No one ever fucking says they hate being told their sexy, darling.’ With the subject turning towards sex, he looked at Tracey properly. She wasn’t too tall, ample breasts, streaks of brown and blondes in her hair, a tight dress that showed off her curves. Her hips were the type that made him want to rest his hands on them as he danced close to her. 

‘Well, I was mostly talking about your accent.’

‘When I think sexy, it’s not your voice I’m just thinking about.’ Malcolm hinted and welcomed the look she gave him. ‘Got any plans for the rest of the evening?’

‘Nothing really. You?’ 

‘Same. So, Douglas is your brother?’ 

‘He is. Not that I see him often. He spends all of his time at the university. He turned out to be the brains in the family.’

‘And you?’

‘I got the body.’ She laughed at her own joke. 

‘I can see that.’ Malcolm nodded in agreement. ‘Were you ah, finished looking around here?’

‘Yes. I think I may have found what I want now.’ Her eyes were telling him all he needed to know.

‘I have some excellent scotch at my place. If you like scotch.’

‘And if I don’t like scotch?’

‘Well, there’ll be a sexy Scot there.’ Malcolm replied easily. ‘And I could pick up a bottle of wine on the way.’

‘How about I take that offer of a scotch with the Scot.’ Tracey reached up a finger to his cheek to run it lightly over his beard. 

‘You drive a hard bargain lady but I can accept those terms.’ He held out his arm for her to take it and they were soon heading from the gallery. Tracey had driven to the gallery so she offered to drive them to his flat. Traffic was lighter so it wasn’t long before they were finding a parking spot near his flat. Opening the door for her, Malcolm followed her up the flight of stairs to his flat and let her in. He helped her off with her jacket, enjoying the sight of her shoulders with the very slight straps of her dress. Hiding his arousal was not on the cards tonight. In the kitchen, Malcolm grabbed two glass tumblers and his bottle of scotch. He returned to the sitting room to find her looking at the large print of the Brooklyn Bridge above the sofa. 

‘That’s from the gallery?’ Tracey asked him. 

‘Yeah. It was a secondary print. I wanted the original but someone else got it.’ He poured out two measures of scotch and handed her one and, with his own in hand, he was sitting beside her on the sofa. ‘What do you do for a living then?’  
‘I work in a fashion boutique. Help women with far too much money spend it on over-priced clothing.’ She crossed her legs, letting her dress ride up above her knees which had Malcolm looking at the exposed skin for a moment before turning his gaze back on her face. He watched her as she took a drink, watching her lips part and the tip of her tongue as the amber liquid flowed over it. 

Taking a drink himself, Malcolm continued with the light chat. ‘A fashion boutique. You get to play dress up yourself?’

‘Mmm, yes. Quite often. I’ve even been photographed a couple of times for some local advertising.’

‘Bet you’d look good in some of those frocks I’ve seen in the papers worn by red carpet types.’

‘Flatterer.’ She accused him lightly, her hand going to his cheek again. This time it wasn’t just a finger, the palm of her hand rested for a moment on him before she stroked his beard slowly. Tracey was leaning closer to him until their lips met. Malcolm eagerly returned her kiss. The taste of scotch on her lips and tongue turned him on even more. She was proving to be just as hungry. Her hand moved from his beard to his chest, stroking him through his shirt. Malcolm paused for a brief moment to take both her glass and his to put them down on a side table nearby. 

With both their hands free, they were soon roaming over one another’s upper bodies. Malcolm was reaching behind Tracey, his fingers finding the zip of her dress and worked it down. Then he was hooking his fingers under the straps on her shoulders and easing them down until her arms were free of them. The top of her dress was being drawn down by his fingers, leaving her in just her bra. Tracey began tugging on his shirt, freeing it from his trousers to slide her hands under it to his chest. Her fingers found his nipples, pinching them hard enough to make him moan softly. 

Malcolm cupped her breasts through her bra, massaging them gently until her nipples were hard points. Only then did he reach round to unclasp it and peel it away from her body. Tracey’s head tilted back as he kissed his way from her lips and down over her neck until his lips wrapped around one hard nipple to suck on it. The other was being teased between his thumb and forefinger. Her fingers were threading into his hair to guide his mouth tighter against her breast. Responding, he sucked harder until she was pulling his lips away from her breast and up to her mouth. Her tongue was driving into his mouth. He moved his hand back to her wet nipple to tease it. Tracey guided his lips to her left breast for him to do the same to it. Teasing and sucking until she began to breathe faster, Malcolm pulled back finally and shifted on the sofa to face her. His lips sought hers again while his hand moved down to between her legs. One long finger worked it’s way under her panties to slide over her wet slit. That had her spreading her legs open for him. He had one knee on the sofa to the right of her leg and his other foot on the floor between her legs. 

His head bent down to allow his lips to latch onto her breast once more. He rubbed harder and faster on her clit until she was panting and gripping his hair tightly. Tracey’s hands were on his waist, trying to pull him down onto her. When her fingers began to dig into his sides, he pulled back to watch her as he brought her to orgasm. Her arching body made his cock twitch in his trousers. She rested her head on the back of the sofa to watch as Malcolm stripped off his shirt and got his trousers down and off. Sitting forward, she took hold of his stiff cock and began to give him head. ‘Fuck.’ He groaned as she slid up and down his erection with her mouth. Having been worked up already, it wasn’t long before she had him exploding. 

They continued to sit on the sofa, stroking and kissing for some time until Malcolm felt himself getting aroused again. ‘Let’s move to the bed. Bit more comfortable.’ Agreeable, Tracey moved with him to his bedroom. There, Malcolm joined her and was soon on top of her, guiding his cock inside her. Tracey moaned as he entered her. Her leg went round him and they were soon fucking each other hard. Malcolm closed his eyes and easily slipped into a fantasy of having sex with Sarah. The fact that he was actually having sex with someone else was lost to him. His mouth was hungrily kissing her neck and shoulders as his hips thrust hard inside her wet hole. 

‘Oh god, Sarah! Fuck! SARAH!’ He called out her name as he came inside Tracey. Oblivious to what he had said in the moment, Malcolm was crushing his lips against Tracey’s to kiss her hard. A hand reached down to furiously rub her clit until she was crying out from her own orgasm. Only then did Malcolm move to lay down on the bed beside her, exhausted. Sleep came soon after.

In the morning, Malcolm woke up early as he always seemed to do no matter what day it was. With a groan he got up as quietly as he could as Tracey carried on sleeping herself. Malcolm found a pair of boxers and was off to the washroom and then to the kitchen to get coffee for both of them. He heard her get up and use the washroom herself, having a shower. In a much better mood that morning after his evening with Tracey, Malcolm was humming happily as he rummaged about his fridge to see what he could make for breakfast. 

‘Morning.’ Tracey made it to the kitchen, already dressed, her heels in her hands, and with slightly damp hair from her shower. 

‘Hey. Coffee is about ready. I’ve got eggs if you want those for breakfast.’

‘Thanks, Malcolm, but I should get going.’ She sat down on one of the chairs to get her heels on. ‘I do have to say that I envy Sarah.’

‘Sarah?’ Malcolm furrowed his brows at the mention of her name.

‘Yeah. She’s one lucky lady to have you as a lover.’

‘I don’t know…’ Malcolm was more confused than ever. ‘She’s not..’

‘Well, if she’s not your lover you want her to be. It was her name you were calling out last night.’ Tracey stood up, ready to go. ‘Don’t worry, Malcolm.’ She kissed him on his bearded cheek. ‘I promise I won’t tell my brother that I fucked his Professor.’

‘Yeah, uh, thanks.’ Malcolm couldn’t think of what else to say but just followed her from the kitchen and saw her out the door. With the door closed he rested his forehead against it, his eyes closed. He couldn’t believe it. But it’s not like Tracey would have made it up. She’d not know a fucking thing about Sarah!   
‘FUCK!’ Malcolm slammed a fist into the wall in his frustration. How could he have done that? Just fuck some woman when it should be Sarah, the woman he loved, that he should be sharing his bed with. Breakfast forgotten, Malcolm all of a sudden felt incredibly dirty and needed a hot shower.

What should have been a pleasant weekend for Malcolm turned into hell instead. Whatever pleasure he had felt when having sex with Tracey was overshadowed by thoughts of Sarah. The more he thought about it the worse he began to feel. ‘This is fucking insane.’ He talked to himself that night while drinking some scotch. His television was on to the news but he hardly registered it. ‘I shouldn’t fucking feel this way. She’s nothing to me. Yeah I fucking ache for her but I’m just a friend of her godfather. Shouldn’t feel like I’ve just fucking cheated on her!’ It took a few more glasses of scotch before he was finally able to get some sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Malcolm managed to work his way through Sunday and Monday to the point where he kept his mind off of his imagined cheating on Sarah. Tuesday came and he began to dread the thought of his lecture. He’d be there in front of her. As long as she sat in her usual spot midway up the range of seats he ought to be able to forget that she was in the crowd. He already planned to remain behind the lectern for this class. Arriving at the lecture hall, he did his usual scan of the assembled students and spotted her further back than usual which made him breathe a sigh of relief. 

Wrapping up the lecture, Malcolm announced the date for mid-term essay submissions before dismissing the class. The group of assistants gathered by Malcolm to go over last minute notes about the essay requirements. Two of the assistants remained with Malcolm as he began his usual routine of heading to the coffee shop for a cup to take with him to his office. They continued discussing some points from the lecture that day even as they queued up. Not until he was paying for all three of their coffees did he catch sight of Sarah at her usual table, already with her own coffee and waving shyly at him. He waved briefly back at her but turned to head out of the shop and on to his office with his assistants. As he did, he thought he caught a glimpse of a sad shadow passing over her face. Stop it, he thought. You fucking ass, she doesn’t love you, she doesn’t know you cheated on her, she just fucking doesn’t know and you are being a right ass thinking that she would care that much. 

The normal weekday routine continued. The open office hours found the usual round of students dropping in for debates and questions. Sarah never appeared. In the evenings, Malcolm spent his time focusing entirely on his column writing and his memoirs. It was only when he was laying in his bed alone in the dark that thoughts of Sarah crept back into the forefront. Gloom and despair descended on him then. He kept desperately confessing to her in his mind, accepting her anger and rejection of him for his indiscretion with Tracey. Malcolm did think about calling John and talking to him about what he had done but their last conversation about his feelings for Sarah made him reluctant to do so. Idly scratching his bearded cheek, Malcolm dared not to go there. Sarah had only expressed hints of friendship. John certainly only wanted him to be friends with Sarah. It was just him that wanted so much more than that.

The Thursday lecture came around and Malcolm used the same tactic for after the class. He engaged a couple of his assistants in conversation and they were accompanying him back to his office with the usual stop for a coffee. He tried very hard to not notice Sarah but couldn’t help himself. His eyes were drawn to her spot in the corner and flicked his gaze away quickly after seeing her there. Malcolm couldn’t face her. He simply couldn’t stop thinking about how he had cheated on her. 

Sarah, sitting there alone, became more confused. She had expected him to carry on as he had done the week before and joining her for a coffee after the class. It hadn’t really bothered her on Tuesday because he had acknowledged her being there but he looked as if he were just unavoidably tied up with the assistants. Today though, he wouldn’t even look at her. How could he have told John that he loved her and now suddenly he wouldn’t give her even a wave. Sipping on her coffee, her thumb was rubbing her wedding ring again as she watched him talking as he got his coffee. His change in behaviour upset her. And this surprised Sarah. Why should it bother her so much? She did only see him as a friend. Didn’t she? Pursing her lips in thought, Sarah began to question her own emotions for the first time since she had lost Ryan. 

Continuing to throw himself into his work, Malcolm hardly left his flat from the Thursday evening to the next Tuesday lecture. John did call him but Malcolm said nothing other than promising that he’d be at the next exhibit. After that Tuesday lecture, Malcolm wasn’t able to engineer any of his assistants walking with him so he decided to just skip his usual stop for coffee. 

As he strode past the shop, Sarah was at her corner table watching for him to come in and when she spotted him just walking on by she held her breath. The only thing she could think of was that she had upset him somehow. Why else would he avoid coming into the shop? He ALWAYS had a coffee after class. She shook her head to dismiss that sort of crazy thought. There had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he hadn’t got a coffee that day. She’d see him again on Thursday.

Sitting in his office that afternoon, Malcolm was winding down as the last of the students left his office. When his phone rang, it made him jump slightly. Answering it, he spoke briefly to Faber’s secretary and acknowledge the request for him to come and see Faber. 

‘Faber.’ Malcolm nodded as he sat down across from the Department Head’s desk. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Tucker, I have to admit that you are now the University’s most complained about lecturer in all of it’s history.’ Faber sighed as he flipped open the cover of a file folder. 

‘What the fuck now?’ Malcolm asked, sitting up straighter.

‘Mostly the usual beefs. Your language, your behaviour, your crankiness. The things I can dismiss as just people not getting along with you. However,’ Faber paused as he turned to one page in the folder and read it over again. ‘This one I can’t just brush off.’

‘What are they complaining about?’ 

‘There’s an allegation of professional misconduct with one of your students.’

‘What the fuck?’ Malcolm’s mouth fell open. ‘Who the fuck’s saying this? It’s absolute bullshit! I would NEVER fuck around with a student.’

‘Calm down, Tucker.’ Faber held out his hand, gesturing for the raging Scotsman to sit back down. ‘It’s an allegation only. We’re going to be conducting an investigation.’

‘I haven’t fucking done anything! Why would you investigate such bullshit?’

‘We are legally obligated to investigate any sort of sexual misconduct complaint. The University has an independent group that manages these. My role in this is just to advise you of the allegation and to let you know that they will be in contact with you regarding the allegations.’

‘Whoever is fucking doing this is going to fucking pay fucking big time when their bullshit is laid bare! Anything they may have as fucking evidence is going to be fabricated! No one fucking fucks me! Not like this!’

Faber stood up, staring down Malcolm until he calmed down again. ‘Tucker, if you have done nothing wrong then this will be dismissed. BUT.. ‘ Faber’s look was stern and as fierce as Malcolm’s usual bollocking face would be before he finished his warning, ‘if you interfere in any way with the investigation or you do not cooperate completely then it will be me dismissing you for insubordination.’

‘You will fucking see that this is absolute bullshit! Don’t you fucking worry, Faber.’ Malcolm promised the Department Head and was left to storm out of the man’s office to head home for the evening. 

The next day, Malcolm was summoned to an interview in the security offices. When he was finally given more details as to the actual allegation, Malcolm could only laugh at it. While the person who had lodged the allegation was granted privacy at this stage of the investigation Malcolm could already guess that it was the one blonde who always sat right in the middle of the front row in the tight jeans or skirts every single time. From the first week on she had made it a point to sit suggestively and openly flirt with him. Immediately after that first instance of open flirting, one of the TA’s was warning him about the woman. He’d been in a class the previous semester where she’d practically thrown herself on the professor each and every class until he’d found a way to have her withdrawn from the class. Malcolm described the woman’s behaviour and demeanour to the investigator. While the fellow didn’t show any acknowledgement that Malcolm had correctly identified his accuser, Malcolm could sense the change in the tone of his questions as the interview wound down. With a curt dismissal from the investigator Malcolm left the office and headed straight for home. 

It was only after he was in the privacy of his own flat that Malcolm let his emotions out. ‘Fucking hell.’ His jacket got thrown onto the sofa and his shoes kicked off before he grabbed hold of his bottle of scotch with a glass to slump into his chair. ‘It just has to be that fucking blonde cunt behind this. No one would fucking know about Sarah. Not that I fucking want her. Only John knows. Shit.’ He downed a large gulp of scotch before rubbing his eyes. ‘Having a coffee with Sarah wouldn’t have prompted this. Couldn’t have. Fuck!’ He took a few deep breaths, calming himself down. ‘Right. Fuck it. I’ll just have to not socialize with Sarah for the rest of the course. Can’t fucking put her at risk at all.’ With his decision made to shut down any sort of interaction with Sarah, Malcolm finished his glass of scotch and headed to bed.

Thursday that week, Malcolm closed off his lecture and just had the one open office hour to make it through before the weekend. He’d already promised to go to the exhibit the next night so he hoped that this would be a slow session. Risking it, he stopped for a coffee and was grateful to see Sarah was not at her usual corner table. Cheered by that, he strode quickly to his office with his coffee in his hand. At his office door the crowd of students waiting for him to arrive meant that it would be the usual crowded debate for the next hour and a half. Today was one of the days he could have lived without a rowdy group. Once he was settled behind his desk and the group of students had all found seats or standing room the debates and questions began. 

The session began to wind down and the students all began to wander off, heading to other classes or to the library for further study. Malcolm’s coffee cup was regretfully empty so he tossed it into the waste bin. Douglas, always the last to leave the office sessions, said goodbye and Malcolm was left to tidy up the papers and books that had been pulled out for reference. 

‘Malcolm?’ Sarah’s voice was timid sounding at his office door. 

‘Sarah! Hi there!’ Malcolm couldn’t help sounding pleased to see her at first until he remembered his resolution to not socialize with her. ‘You’ve just missed the session. Drop by next Tuesday. I'm sure you’d enjoy it. It gets quite lively at times.’

‘I didn’t really come here to join in the discussions.’ Sarah admitted. Her nervousness showed only in the movement of her thumb on her wedding ring. ‘I thought … ‘

‘Thought what?’ Malcolm asked, trying to sound convincing. He really wasn’t doing a good job at that he told himself. 

‘I was enjoying our coffees together. After class.’ 

‘Oh, right.’ Malcolm turned away to set some books back on the shelves, relaxing his features before turning back to her. ‘I enjoyed them too. Unfortunately, I’ve got too many meetings and appointments coming up over the next weeks to commit to always spend time chatting with you there.’

Sarah couldn’t help looking disappointed and confused at the same time. As far as she knew, none of the assistants had mentioned him being unavailable between the end of the lecture and his office time. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that I had kept you from anything.’

‘Fuck no! Not before. Just.. ah.. just going forward. I’ve got some fucking complaints against me that have come up that I have to go to interviews and shit for.’ 

‘Complaints? Who on earth could complain about you?’

‘You know, my language… that .. uh.. is the biggest thing. Some of the students don’t like my fucking swearing.’ Sarah smiled at his phrasing and was heartened to see him smile as well, if for just a very brief moment. ‘Maybe after that’s all cleared up we could get back to having coffee again.’ 

‘I would like that, Malcolm.’ Sarah smiled once more at him. ‘It’s nice having a friend I can chat with after class.’

‘Oh, yeah. Definitely. Same here.’ Sarah kept up her smile, knowing that he was lying to her. Malcolm continued, ‘I’ll be at the gallery tomorrow night. You?’

‘No.’ Sarah said. ‘Not this time. John helped me get a photo shoot job at a social event. The pay was too good to pass up and John didn’t want to disappoint his regular client.’

‘That’s.. good. Great.’ Malcolm smiled and looked at his watch. ‘Shit, I better run. I’ll let you know when I’m done with the complaints bullshit. Okay?’

‘I’d like that.’ Sarah turned and left his office. 

Malcolm felt his hands curl into fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. Why the fuck couldn’t he just stop fucking loving her so much! This was fucking killing him!


	20. Chapter 20

Two weeks later, John was tied up at the gallery on the Friday night due to a new exhibit and Sarah had been gracious enough to cover a private event that he’d been asked to photograph. It was the first time he’d been asked to do an exhibit for a local celebrity and he’d arranged for better catering and had arranged the whole affair as if it were a VIP exhibit. The opening of the exhibit was by invite only and was well attended by classy, well-dressed art lovers.  
Malcolm attended as well, at John’s request. He was dressed in one of his best suits and happily milling about with other local VIP’s. It was easy for him to engage in conversations about local and world politics when the subject up for discussion began to drift away from art. John had done this by design as half the VIP’s were either going to be politicians or linked by family or marriage to politicians. That knowledge and the invitation of Malcolm kept most of the crowd engaged in some manner. 

‘You have no idea how glad I am that you’re here tonight, Malcolm.’ John spoke quietly to his old friend as they wound up beside one another at one point by the refreshments table. ‘I knew there’d be a fair number of partners here that wouldn’t be great art-lovers. Especially with this style of art.’ The two men glanced at the nearest art pieces and the abstract nature of it. 

‘You’ll display just about anything won’t you?’ Malcolm teased. 

‘The media coverage alone is making it worth my while.’ John admitted. ‘Plus there’s already been sufficient interest in purchases that my commissions on them will be equally worth it.’

‘Well, when you’ve cashed in you can take me for lunch.’ Malcolm winked at his friend.

‘Oooh. Just the two of us?’

‘What? And give you the chance to flirt the whole time?’

‘Yes!’ John grinned.

‘We’ll talk about that later.’ Malcolm shook his head with a smile on his lips. ‘No Sarah tonight?’

‘Hm? No. She’s off to shoot a private event for me. I’d been asked to photograph it months ago but this exhibit came up.’

‘Ah.’ Malcolm’s disappointment was obvious to John.

‘That won’t change, will it?’

‘Sorry. Fuck.’ Malcolm grimaced. ‘It won’t.’

‘We’ll cope.’ John replied to Malcolm’s look. ‘I’m still glad you’re here.’

‘Look, has she told you anything about the shit I’m dealing with at the University?’

‘No. What’s going on?’

‘Some cunt has accused me of sexual misconduct.’

John’s eyes went wide. ‘Have you?’

‘Fuck no! I’m not that fucking stupid, John. It’s just a fucking pain to be under investigation and I’ve had to put a lot of distance between me and Sarah. I don’t want her dragged into any sort of shit.’

‘But you aren’t doing anything with her.’ 

‘We’ve had coffee together after class a number of times. In public and we never arrived or left together. But I know how these things can fuck a person over. So, better nothing until this bullshit is buried where it belongs. Just when you talk to her, if the subject comes up reassure her it’s just about the damn investigation and nothing else, okay?’

‘I will.’ John reassured Malcolm. ‘Just take care.’

‘I can look after me.’ Malcolm grinned and then the two of them drifted apart and back to the exhibit. John to his VIP’s and Malcolm to the political types.


	21. Chapter 21

John was arriving with Pedro the next morning to their studio above the gallery. The evening before there had been enough orders for prints that they would be busy for the best part of a few weeks getting them all done and framed to order. They had agreed to make a start on the work that morning. Walking up the the flight of stairs, John easily noted that the security system was off and that meant someone was already there. ‘Odd. I wouldn’t have thought any of the staff would be in this morning.’ John mumbled as he opened the door. The sight of Sarah’s favourite brown leather jacket hanging on one of the hooks made him smile. 

‘See, you worry over nothing.’ Pedro laughed at the older man. 

‘Sarah!’ John called out and heard her call back from behind a screened off area where all of the computers they used were. ‘What are you doing here so early? You would have been out late.’

‘I was and by the time the reception ended I decided to just come right here rather than go home. I’ve already got the photos from the reception last night uploading to your server.’

‘Coffee?’ Pedro asked and after nods all around he headed to the kitchen area of the large studio to fix them all a brew. 

‘What are you working on here then?’ John approached his god-daughter where she sat, asking her permission to look at her work on the screen.

‘Something Malcolm had said when we met at my showing.’ Sarah gestured to John that he could look. ‘He mentioned that I should try a different theme.’

‘Of course he would. I would say the same thing. What have you decided on?’ John peered at the screen to a crowd shot of students at the University. Sarah was already toying with the focus settings on the photograph. 

‘I thought about focusing on happiness. Go the opposite emotion from my last theme. But it’s proving harder than I thought.’ Sarah sighed softly.

John rested a hand on her shoulder, squeezing her softly. ‘Don’t force it, Sarah. When you’re ready, you’ll know it.’

‘It’s been long enough. I shouldn’t be grieving anymore, John, but I can’t help feeling sad when I see others with their loved ones. I still miss Ryan.’

‘Of course you do. You’ll always miss him. No matter what. It’s just that it gets easier in time to remember him and not let the sadness dominate you.’ 

‘How long did it take you to get over the loss of my father?’ Sarah asked, her hand going over John’s as his grip tightened slightly on her shoulder in reaction. 

‘I never have, Sarah. I think of him often. But I stopped crying over his loss a few years after. But at the time, most of my tears had to be cried in private. You don’t have to hide and you have others there to help you and who understand more easily.’ John bent over her and hugged her around the shoulders. A soft kiss on her head before he stroked her softly helped to comfort her for the moment. He watched as her thumb rubbed once more at the wedding band around her finger. ‘Maybe instead of happiness you should look for another emotion.’

‘All I see are the sad eyes.’ Sarah whispered. 

Pedro rejoined them at that moment and the talk turned back to photography and framing in general. The undercurrent between John and Sarah was not lost on Pedro but he knew better than to comment on it. He would likely get the fall out later when he and John were alone. For now, the three had coffee and then they all got into their different jobs. 

As the morning turned to afternoon, they had lunch delivered and ate. After, Sarah got up and stretched. ‘John, do you think I could stay over at the beach house for a few days?’

‘The beach house? Sure. It’s off season and it’s already been winterized so it’s a bit low on creature comforts right now.’

‘I’m sure I’ll manage.’ Sarah smiled lightly as John got the spare beach house key for her and handed it to her. 

‘You’ll only be able to get in through the front door.’ John reminded her. ‘Heading out there now then?’

‘I think so. Thanks, John.’ She hugged him and then Pedro. Grabbing her jacket she was soon out the door. 

‘You look worried,’ Pedro remarked at the way John watched the door even after Sarah was gone.

‘Sorry.’ John took a deep breath to return to their work. 

‘No, not work. Why are you worried?’

‘She’s still grieving intensely. I just hope she’s not thinking anything too extreme.’

‘You think she may be suicidal?’

‘I can’t help it. I know I was when Robert passed away.’

‘Sarah’s not at all like that, John.’ Pedro rubbed his lover’s back. ‘I know she’s got more life in her. Look at the work she left up on her screen.’

‘Hm?’ John went over to the computer that she’d been working at. There was a series of three cropped images. One of her father, one of Ryan and then one of Malcolm. All smiling. 

‘Odd that she’d have Malcolm there and not you.’ Pedro commented. ‘Unless we got something wrong.’

‘I hope not.’ John muttered, still uncomfortable with the idea of Sarah and Malcolm in a close relationship.

‘Let Malcolm be. You crushed on Robert and it messed up your life. Don’t let your crush on Malcolm mess up her life, too.’ John was about to speak when Pedro reached a hand out to stop him by laying his finger on John’s lips. ‘You lust after Malcolm at times the same way he is on Sarah. You think I don’t know? You’ve been obvious since he moved here to the city. Malcolm is straight. He’ll never change. So, move on and let him pursue Sarah. I think Sarah’s already thinking the same of him. If she’s got him lined up with the other two men that she’s loved in her life.’

‘It hurts.’ John admitted. ‘I care for both of them.’

‘And they both care for you. Let them find their own hearts.’ Pedro smiled at his lover. ‘You know where my heart is.’

John was chastened by Pedro’s look. ‘I’m so horrible to you, Pedro.’

‘Make it up to me later. We have work to do if we’re going to meet all the order deadlines.’


	22. Chapter 22

‘You’ve got a request to go and meet with Faber.’ Douglas handed Malcolm a note that he’d been given at the office earlier that day. Malcolm was juggling a large folder in his hands and tucking his phone back into his pocket at the same time. Douglas took the folder from him and then gave over the note. 

‘Fucking hell, right after the lecture.’ Malcolm grumbled. ‘When the hell does the man think I’m going to have time for my fucking coffee.’ 

‘I can pick it up for you on the way to the office.’ Douglas offered.

‘That’d be great. Thanks. Remind me to give you money after the lecture,’ said Malcolm stuffing the note into his pocket and retrieving his folder from Douglas. ‘Right. Here’s a stack of articles that I want you to give out. Use them as the discussion points for the study groups. It’s the latest bullshit the papers are spewing over in the UK. I know the useless cock that came up with this crap and it’d be interesting to see if the students can figure it out.’ 

Students began to file in and take their seats in the large lecture hall. Malcolm, scratching his chin unconsciously as he did a quick scan of his lecture notes. The noise of the settling students finally quieted down and Malcolm did his usual scan of the students to find Sarah. He made a bit of a face of worry when he noticed she wasn’t there. Must be ill, he thought. Not like her to skip. Without much other thought than that the lecture began.

After the lecture, Malcolm was quickly striding to Faber’s office. 

‘Ah, Tucker. Come in. Have a seat.’ Faber waved him to the seat across from himself. ‘I just wanted to say that I appreciate your cooperation dealing with the entire investigation. Although I did get some commentary from the investigative team that they found your reputation as a crusty Brit quite accurate.’

‘Fucking Scot. Not a goddamn Brit. Why can’t people get that fucking right.’ Malcolm scowled and Faber ignored the comment.

‘Anyway, they’ve come to a decision on the allegations.’

‘And?’ Malcolm gestured for him to just get on with it.

‘There’s nothing to support the allegations at all. No hints or proof that you’ve actually been misbehaving with any student whatsoever.’

‘I fucking told you that.’ Malcolm sounded smug.

‘You did. And I told you at the time that I couldn’t just go off your word. The investigation was done appropriately and without prejudice to any party. It’s dismissed and there’s nothing further to concern yourself with.’

‘And the person who made the allegation?’

‘Has been dealt with.’ Faber said curtly. ‘Don’t push for any more information, you’ll not get it.’

‘Fine. Guess that’ll have to do then.’ Malcolm blew out a breath and relaxed. ‘That’s all closed off then?’

‘Yes. Carry on with your lectures.’

Malcolm got to his feet and then paused. ‘It’s coming up to midterms.’

‘It is.’

‘There going to be any word on the next year by then?’ Malcolm fished.

‘Contracts don’t get discussed until the final month of the term, Malcolm. We’ll talk then.’

‘Got it. Thanks.’ Malcolm accepted that he wasn’t going to find anything out just yet on his future at the University and left. At least he didn’t have to worry about stupid allegations of diddling with a student.


	23. Chapter 23

Malcolm was starting the second lecture for that week and again doing his usual scan of the attending students. He quickly noticed that Sarah was not in attendance again. It unsettled him but he couldn’t do anything about it. But when he got an attendance report from one of the assistants that she’d not attended the study group either, he got worried. Before he left the office for the day he got on the phone to John.

‘Malcolm? Something up?’ John answered his phone.

‘You hear from Sarah since last week?’ 

‘Yeah, she came by the Saturday morning. We were all at the studio catching up on work. The exhibit was surprisingly successful. We’re still working on orders.’

‘That’s good. Look, Sarah’s not been to classes this week, mate.’ Malcolm tried to not sound too worried. 

‘Neither lecture?’ John asked and Malcolm confirmed it. ‘I thought she’d only be going to the beach house for the weekend. Looks like she may have checked out for longer than a day or two. I’ll run down there on the weekend and see what she’s up to.’

‘John, I’m off tomorrow. Column’s already submitted for the Monday paper. I can go down there in the morning and check up on her for you.’

‘Is that safe?’ John asked. ‘You and her alone at the beach?’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake, John. I’m not going in hopes of shagging her! I’m worried about her as a friend and as her professor.’

‘Sorry, yes, that was unfair of me. Forgive me?’

‘Of course I’m going to forgive you, John. You’re my friend. I hope you’re not always going to think that every time I chat with her that I’m acting the lecher.’

‘I’ll get over it, Malcolm. I promise I will. Pedro’s already told me off a few times about it.’

‘Yeah, well if Pedro doesn’t keep your balls in check over it I’ll be fucking ripping them off, freeze drying them and then grinding them into a fine powder.’

One of Malcolm’s classic rants was enough to break the mood and get John chuckling. ‘Wouldn’t want that to happen! You remember the beach house address?’

‘I got it. I’ll head down tomorrow and I’ll call you once I find out what’s going on with Sarah.’

‘Thanks, old friend. I’ll make it up to you.’


	24. Chapter 24

Sarah had woken up that Friday morning still in a funk. Since the past Saturday she had remained at the beach house. With the sun shining and the sky a bright blue, it reminded her even more of Ryan and the times they’d spent on the beach. Tying her hair back, she pulled on her jacket and headed to the beach. Being off season there were only a few hardy souls who were walking their dogs. Walking a ways down the beach, she found a quiet spot with a slight rise that was away from the high water mark. 

With the sun shining off the water, she was warm enough but left her jacket on. It had been over a year now since she’d lost Ryan. She had sworn to herself that she would always remember everything they had done together but now, life had moved on and her memories were fading. She hated that. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she hugged them tight against herself, letting her chin rest on her knees.  
What made it all worse for her was Malcolm. Just as she’d been getting used to his company and his friendship, having heard how he really felt about her was making her question herself even more. She didn’t think of herself as in love with Malcolm. Yes, he was sweet once she’d got to know him. He was obviously trustworthy or else John wouldn’t have been his friend for so long. They did have some things in common. The times they’d shared coffee had been pleasant and when he had stopped joining her she had found herself saddened. It made some sense that he’d be concerned about allegations of sexual misconduct with a student but they hadn’t been doing anything! Unless he really thought he had a chance of being more than a friend.

‘Come to this beach often?’ 

Sarah shot her head up and around at the voice. The Scottish accent surprised her. ‘Malcolm?” He was standing there with a smile on his face. ‘How did you get here?’

‘Well, there was a subway ride to the train station, then a train ride to town and then I sprang for a cab. I could have walked but I just wanted to get here.’

‘I meant..’ Sarah made to get up from the beach but Malcolm stopped her with a gesture and instead, sat on the sand beside her. 

‘I know. John told me you were here.’

‘Why would you bother?’ Sarah sighed, turning away to look at the rolling waves again. 

‘Coming all the way here to see what you were up to? After missing my classes?’ 

‘I’m just another student.’

‘That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.’ Malcolm told her off. ‘You’re my best friend’s god-daughter and you’re also my friend as well.’

‘Some friend.’ Sarah shot at him.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Malcolm was taken aback at her tone.

‘Not quite living up to your word and changing.’

That made Malcolm hold his tongue and the first thought in his head was that she knew but there was no way that she would have found out. John and Pedro would never have said anything. He certainly hadn’t seen much of her. Had to be coincidence. ‘I did. I told you why I couldn’t see you after class. I didn’t give a fuck about what happens to me but I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.’

‘We weren’t doing anything wrong. Lots of students have coffee with their professors.’

‘Yeah, well, maybe I’m more fucking paranoid. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had shit flung at me.’ Malcolm told her. ‘Besides its all fucking moot. Faber told me the allegations were proved false. I’m in the clear.’

Sarah faced him, smiling. ‘That’s great!’

‘Yeah. So, did you disappear just because I wouldn’t have a fucking coffee with you?’

Sarah looked away again quickly, not wanting him to see her smile fade. ‘No. I would never just run away from you Malcolm. Nor John. John knew I’d come here.’

‘Why then?’

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, just catching him lifting his hand to rest on her shoulder but drawing it away. Inside, her head screamed for him to hug her, but she didn’t listen to it. 

‘If it’s too personal, tell me to fuck off.’ Malcolm watched her closely. ‘I hate you missing class and I hate it even more when you’re sad. Thinking of Ryan?’ Sarah tightened her grip on her knees. The rolling and crashing of the waves drowned out her choked off sob but not the shudder of her body. 

‘Losing someone is always hard, I know. Lost my parents.’ Malcolm tried to reassure her but got no real response. ‘You loved him a lot.’ She nodded finally. ‘Still love him.’ Another nod from her. ‘I want to help you, Sarah.’

‘Help me? After what I’ve done to you?’

Malcolm’s brows furrowed, confused. ‘What have you done to me?’

‘You’re John’s friend. Not mine. I thought that spending time at the gallery and then having coffee was being friendly. But it’s not going right. It almost got you in trouble.’

“What? You don’t think someone would actually accuse me of fucking around with you and charging me with that?’’ 

‘They must have! It’s not like you’ve spent any time with anyone else.’ 

‘I was never told who had lodged the complaint but it certainly wasn’t hinted that it was you. Well, not directly.’

Sarah’s chin sank to her knees again. ‘May as well have been. It’s probably for the best that I drop from your class.’

‘Fuck no! I ..’ Malcolm swallowed hard. 

‘It’s okay, Malcolm. I can pick up another course over the summer.’

‘And waste the fucking time you’ve put in so far? Why the fuck would you do that?’

‘I.. ‘ Sarah looked at him. ‘I don’t want to lose a friend so soon after finding him.’

‘Darling, you don’t get rid of Malcolm Tucker so easily. John’ll tell you that and I’ve put up with a lot more of his gay shite for a lot longer.’  
Sarah brushed away a few tears. ‘You would tell me?’

‘Of course I’d tell you if anything were going to change how I feel about you, Sarah!’

‘Promise?’

‘On my heart I promise.’ His long fingers covered his heart before he reached out and wiped away her tears. 

‘Malcolm? Could I ask you to do something?’

‘Anything, darling.’

‘I could really use a hug right now.’ 

Malcolm gathered her in his arms, holding her close against his body. Her hands slipped around him and she was soon letting the sobs rack through her body to release the built up confused emotions she’d been feeling all week. Rubbing her back, Malcolm let her cry herself out. Only then did he help her to her feet and head back together to the beach house. There wasn’t much in the house for a meal but Malcolm managed to make something decent to eat. 

As night fell, Malcolm grabbed a thick blanket and the two of them went out on the back patio and sat down to watch the moon and listen to the waves in the distance behind the dunes. Sarah barely let him out of her reach since their hug on the beach. Malcolm didn’t complain. He was actually quite glad that she was trusting him and letting him into her heart as a friend. He wasn’t kidding himself though. Malcolm had already had to extract himself a few times over the course of the day to use the washroom in private. But there was no way that he was going to mess this up. 

Malcolm tucked the blanket around the two of them, a couple of pillows behind their heads against the back wall. They were making do without any patio furniture available to use. Sarah cuddled up close against him, still wrapped around him. She shivered occasionally in the cool night air and when she did, he rubbed her shoulders and back to warm her up again. In the moonlight, Sarah opened up to him, talking about her times with Ryan when they had been at University together and then when they had gone travelling. He couldn’t help chuckling at times when she told him of their adventures together. 

‘Why do you laugh?’ Sarah asked him.

‘Reminds me of my marriage. The bliss of falling in love with someone and just wanting to be everything together. Learning about one another through shared experiences. Every couple has those private moments that will always make you laugh. You talking about Ryan made me remember some of them.’

‘John mentioned that you’d gotten divorced.’

‘Yeah. The romance faded and the personalities clashed. Plus I was getting started with my career in politics. She accused me of being a workaholic and I didn’t deny it. It wasn’t strictly amicable but civil enough.’ Malcolm played with his beard, lost in his own memories for a few minutes. Sarah just rested her head on his chest, her hand gently stroking his stomach. Responding to her touch, Malcolm laid his hand on her head, softly running over her hair. ‘You suit the long hair.’

‘Hm?’ She looked up at him, curious about his comment.

‘When I first met you, your hair was short. At the gallery. Long hair suits you better than the short hair.’

Her soft laugh made his heart skip slightly. ‘You acting the style critic. When you’ve got this horrid old man’s beard to hide behind.’

‘It’s not an old man’s beard!’ Malcolm protested. ‘It’s distinguished.’ He stroked it dramatically. Sarah reached up to give it a playful tug. 

‘It’s not distinguished. You’ve got patches of gray and white in it and John’s description is accurate. You look like a grumpy Greek grandfather.’

‘Well, John’s sense of style tends towards what young latin men are wearing currently.’ 

‘I think you’d look much younger without the beard.’ Sarah said lightly. ‘And I’m not comparing you to young latin men.’

‘You could be!’ Malcolm teased back. ‘Was Ryan a little latin?’

‘No! Heavens above!’ Sarah laughed aloud. ‘He was a lovely blonde haired New Yorker. So you just keep your stereotypical old fart ideas to yourself!’ Malcolm joined her in laughing and it seemed to do the trick in lightening the mood and the conversation for the rest of the evening. 

Sarah apologized profusely when they were sorting out sleeping arrangements. She’d only made up one bed and the rest of the bedding was all stowed away for the winter. Malcolm waved off her words and shook out the blanket they’d used outside. ‘Won’t be the first sofa I’ll have slept on, darling.’ 

‘Well, I’ll do my best to not disturb you if I wake up before you in the morning.’ Sarah smiled and stepped up to him, kissing him lightly on one of his cheeks with a comical face about his beard. With that she was off to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. 

Alone, Malcolm touched his cheek where she had kissed him and sighed deeply. Fucking friends, he thought silently. All you’ve done tonight darling is be more adorable and lovely than I thought it possible in one woman. Shaking his head, he stripped out of his clothes and pulled on a pair of pyjama bottoms and a loose t-shirt. No way was he going to let her get up before him, Malcolm told himself. He’d be up and making her as proper a breakfast as he could.


	25. Chapter 25

The next day, Sarah offered to drive Malcolm back to the city. ‘What about you?’ Malcolm asked, his overnight bag in hand as he waited for her to pull her jacket on.

‘I’m returning too.’

‘Back to class this week?’

‘Yes.’ Sarah told him. ‘Back to class. I needed the time alone but I think I owe you a big thanks.’

‘Me? What did I do?”

‘You showed up and did just what a friend would do. Listened and cared. I needed that just as much as the time.’

‘Well, next time you feel like running away and skipping class, you better report to the Professor first.’


	26. Chapter 26

Without any worry about false allegations to weigh on Malcolm’s mind and Sarah back at class regularly a routine formed for the two of them. Sarah would immediately leave the hall and make her way to the coffee shop. She took to getting his coffee for him as well and having it ready for him at their table. On Malcolm’s part, he would inevitably be held up a few minutes by the assistants going over some details for the study groups before he could head to the coffee shop himself. There he would sit across from Sarah, drinking his coffee and chatting with her over whatever subject they strayed onto. 

When she opened up to him about her photography her passion was laid bare to him. As she was trying to describe to him how she felt when taking the pictures or when she was studying them to refocus the digital images, her face lit up and she would always lean towards him. Malcolm was drawn even more to her then and would have to stop himself leaning too close towards her to find her lips. 

The days crept closer towards the holiday break and Malcolm was being asked by the newspaper to do a series of feature articles on European politics for the next year just as things were winding down at the University. The teaching assistants were going to be handling the bulk of the essay evaluations which would give him the time to write the feature. But as he assembled the assorted magazines that he would need to review to prep for writing his article, Malcolm began to wonder at his sanity for saying yes. 

After the last lecture for the semester, Malcolm collected the last large stack of magazines that Douglas had helpfully fetched from the Library before class. With the large bag full of the magazines in his grip, Malcolm headed to the coffee shop. His grin widened at the sight of her at their table, (did he really just call it their table?) and sat down across from her, the bag of magazines at his feet. 

‘What on earth is that?’ Sarah asked.

‘Work.’ He sipped at the strong coffee, sighing at the warmth. 

‘It’s holiday break time. What work would you be doing?’

‘For the paper. They’ve asked me to do a 5 part feature on European politics and the new year. I’ve got a lot of reading to do over the next week to then write them all up. The plan is for them to run the first week of the new year. Looking to be a good chunk of extra cash for the start of the year.’

‘Oh, I always forget you write the newspaper column as well. Do you have any down time at all?’

‘Plenty enough.’ Malcolm said. ‘I work on my memoirs when I’m not prepping lectures or writing my column. Keeps me busy and stops me from losing it on coffee shop staff.’

Sarah laughed. ‘So, just a lot of reading first?’

‘Yeah. Fucking shit loads. This is just the stuff from the library. I’ve got a bunch of other resources online I want to read through as well.’

‘If it’s just reading, why don’t you come and hang out at the studio on Saturday. I spend the mornings there with John and Pedro. They work on their framing and shows while I use their computers for my photographs. If you behave I’ll give you a sneak preview.’

‘Bribery?’ Malcolm’s eyes shone at her. ‘You just have to ask but if you’re going to offer.’

‘Then consider yourself asked.’

‘Saturday morning then.’ Malcolm agreed and they drifted onto other subjects.


	27. Chapter 27

‘You invited Malcolm to work here?’ John looked quizzically at Sarah that Saturday morning. ‘Not sure if that’s a great idea.’

‘Why not? He’s just going to be reading and he’ll be a bit of company for me while you and Pedro work on the framing.’ Sarah said.

‘Malcolm is not so big a fan of the artwork we’re framing, Sarah.’

‘And you’re off behind the screens so he won’t see it. I’m sure he’ll be fine with not watching you two work. Unless there’s that other reason you’re not comfortable with him being around so much.’

‘What? You mean my lifelong crush for the man?’ John arched an eyebrow at his god-daughter. ‘I’ve spent more than enough time in the company of the man to know I can contain myself.’ John sniffed at the idea he couldn’t control himself. ‘I just don’t want him upset over things.’

‘Neither would I, John. I was hoping I could get his opinion on some of my work.’

‘I’ll warn Pedro. He’ll just have to keep his hands to himself while Malcolm’s around.’ John sighed.

A short while later, Malcolm arrived at the studio with a small carrier bag full of magazines and a tray of coffees for everyone. ‘Hope everyone wanted a coffee. I know I do!’ Malcolm pointedly made straight to where Sarah was sitting. Pedro and John were at the framing table struggling with a large print to be framed. 

‘Be there in a minute.’ John said, not looking up from his work. Pedro was carefully lining up the print to the edge of the frame before stapling it in place. The print was upside down for the moment. ‘Mind that corner, Pedro.’ A sharp response in Spanish and a soft hissing curse prefaced the sound of more stapling.

Malcolm shook his head and sat down at the large desk that had three computer stations set up. They were all networked onto a large processor to handle the heavy graphics editing programs that John used for the gallery and prints work he did. Sarah was already at her station with her current work on the screen. Malcolm handed her a coffee and left the other two off to the side for John and Pedro to collect when they wanted them. ‘What’s on tap for you this morning, darling?’

‘I’m still trying to get into this new theme.’

‘Still going for happiness?’ Malcolm asked, pulling out a magazine to read. 

‘It’s a challenge. You’d think there’d be lots of happiness in the world but I’m not capturing it on film often. I see plenty of sadness, rage, hurt, angst but not pure happiness. It’s almost as if most happiness comes with an edge of sadness for everyone. The best ones I’ve got are all children.’

‘Makes sense, doesn't it? Kids don’t deal with the fucking bullshit the parents have to. Bills, work, stress, all that shit just kills a person’s happiness.’ 

‘Even so, you would think that a parents watching their children play would elicit happiness. Or couples walking hand in hand would. I’m just not finding it.’

‘You’ve taken a lot of crowd pics haven’t you?’

‘Hundreds. It’s just hard to pick out the emotions I’m looking for.’

‘If you only find the kids then go with that theme.’

‘Maybe.’ Sarah didn’t sound convinced but Malcolm let it go and they both settled into their work. The only interruption was when John came over to collect the coffees Malcolm had brought for them and went back around the other side of the screens to re-join Pedro at the framing table. 

Malcolm was jotting down notes as he read, not noticing the time as they worked. Sarah too was engrossed with her work on the computer. 

‘Who’s up for lunch?’ John broke the silence as he and Pedro joined them at the computers. 

‘Damn, how late is it?’ Malcolm looked at his watch. ‘Fuck me, it’s almost 2!’

‘That it is. And I’m starved. You all fine with the deli down the road?’ John was grabbing a scrap of paper to write down orders. 

‘That’s fine with me.’ Sarah said. ‘I’ll take a corned beef on a kaiser.’

‘Malcolm? Bet you’d like one of their roast beef sandwiches. Want to try that?’

‘What do you think, Sarah? You ever have the roast beef?’ Malcolm asked her to get her opinion. 

‘It’s not what I would choose. I find it bland. But you may like it.’

Pedro watched the exchange between Sarah and Malcolm before shooting a glance at John. John had noticed it as well. What was obvious was the change between them from when he’d last seen them together at the gallery. The comfort and ease of how they spoke to one another was, in Pedro’s mind, more than just friends but a couple used to one another. When Pedro looked at John again he could see his lover was torn between wanting the best for his god-daughter but still pining to have Malcolm. Muttering at John in Spanish, ‘Leave off, look at them properly. Blind old Brit.’

Responding in Spanish, ‘She shouldn’t be after him. He’s too old for her.’

‘That makes you my grandfather!’ Pedro spat at him. ‘Let him love who he wants. He’ll never be your lover!’

‘Stop that!’ John snapped back. 

Malcolm and Sarah exchanged glances at the obvious argument between the two men. ‘Sarah, what say we call it a day? I’m tired of reading anyway.’

Pedro looked remorseful. ‘Sorry, Malcolm. Sarah. Please, stay if you wish.’

‘It’s alright, Pedro.’ Malcolm got up and looked at John. ‘If you want to talk later?’

‘Nothing you don’t already know, Malcolm.’ John sighed. ‘You’re welcome here any time, Malcolm. No matter what.’

‘Just not right now, old friend.’ Malcolm laid a hand on John’s shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about lunch for us. Sarah? How about it? Join me for lunch?’

She was torn herself between wanting to spend the time with Malcolm but also wanting to help John. Her godfather waved her away, deciding for her. ‘Sure, Malcolm.’ She nodded to Pedro and John in goodbye and they were soon leaving the studio.

Pedro shook his head at his lover once they were alone. ‘Blind.’

‘I’m not blind. Of course they’re in love.’

‘Yes, they are. And I’m in love with you but I’m getting tired of battling the Scot for your heart. Makes me wish you’d never invited him to move here.’

‘Ah, Pedro.’ John sighed heavily. ‘I know it’s unfair but…’

‘But nothing, old man! Malcolm is straight. He loves Sarah and she loves him. He’s only going to be your friend. I’m the one who loves you the way you want to be.’ 

‘It’s hard, Pedro. So very hard.’ John’s tone was anguished. Pedro gave in, his anger washing away as he hugged his lover tight. ‘I wish I could just turn off how I feel about Malcolm.’


	28. Chapter 28

Side by side, Malcolm and Sarah walked along the street towards Central Park. ‘That was tense.’ Malcolm finally said. 

‘A bit.’ Sarah agreed. ‘I feel bad for Pedro. He’s been working with John since he was 19. Now, five years on it’s still a sore point between them.’

‘Shit, that long?’ Malcolm groaned. ‘I wish John wouldn’t fucking crush on me like that. It’s the only thing I can’t stand about the geezer.’ 

Sarah threaded her hand around his arm as they walked. ‘Don’t hold it against John.’

‘Ah, I don’t. I fucking love the man like a brother. Just gets a bit creepy thinking that he’s horny for me. Not like I didn’t tell him no chance years ago.’

‘He knows, Malcolm. I don’t know what’s triggered him off today.’ As they waited for a green light, Sarah rested her head against his arm. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, fucking fine.’ Malcolm grimaced as the light turned green and they set off across the street. ‘You think I’d like roast beef because it’s bland?’

‘Well, British food is rather boring.’

‘Fucking Scottish! Not British!’ Malcolm grumped in a teasing way. ‘Just wait till Robbie Burns day, darling. I’m going to serve you up a proper fucking haggis with scotch. Then you’ll tell the fucking difference!’ Sarah laughed. ‘Fuck the sandwich. How about a sausage from the cart there?’

‘Sounds good to me!’ Sarah said. At the entrance to the park, they found a street vendor and ordered a couple of sausages. Carrying their food, Malcolm followed Sarah to a free bench and sat with her to eat. As they ate, Sarah dripped some mustard on her chin and Malcolm quickly wiped it from her chin before it could fall on her jacket. ‘Thanks!’ Her smile lit up and made him melt a little inside. ‘A true friend indeed.’

‘Indeed. Wouldn’t want you to wreck your jacket.’

‘Hadn’t even thought of that. But yes, I’d hate to stain it.’

‘You look very good in it.’ Malcolm commented without thinking. ‘The light brown is a good contrast to your hair.’

‘Why thank you, Malcolm. That’s lovely of you.’ Her head tilted slightly. She spotted a few crumbs in his beard from his lunch and reached out to gently brush them away. ‘You’re always such a gentleman.’

Her action made him glance at her briefly, curious. ‘A gentleman? One with a fucking mouth on him.’ He laughed, turning to look at her.

‘You just use a Scottish dictionary.’ Sarah teased him and moved to kiss him on the cheek. Her fingers ran over his lips then his beard. ‘You and this beard. You should shave it off.’

‘Ha. Need to look like a proper professor, don’t you know!’ He grinned widely at her. 

Sarah, her hand still resting on his cheek, went to kiss him again but this time she turned his face towards her despite his attempt to keep his cheek turned to her. Then her lips were against his, kissing him lightly and just a little longer than others would think appropriate for just friends. Pulling back, her eyes locked to his with an adoring gaze. Malcolm blinked with a touch of shock in his face. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence right away. ‘Mostly soft, but a little scratchy. Still would like you to shave.’

‘I like the beard.’ Was all Malcolm could say.


	29. Chapter 29

With classes dismissed till the new year, Malcolm had wondered what would happen with Sarah. They never talked about the kiss in the park but he was over the moon to find her reaching for his hand whenever they walked somewhere together. Just as often, her hand would brush along his beard, her eyes telling him what she thought of the facial hair. He stayed in his flat, plowing through his reading until the silence was broken by his phone ringing. It was the studio number.

‘You fucking poof! What do you want?’

‘Malcolm?’ Sarah’s voice came over the phone.

‘Shit!’ Malcolm sat up in his chair. ‘Sorry! I thought you were John calling me. I ah.. fuck.. well…’

Sarah laughed. ‘I can just imagine what John calls you if that’s how you answer his calls. I was wondering if you’d be wanting to have a coffee later this afternoon?’

‘Sure, yes. I’d love to have coffee with you. We’d usually do coffee today.’ Malcolm’s words rushed out. ‘I can head over that way if you like.’

‘You know the Starbucks on the corner? I’ll meet you there?’ Malcolm agreed and was quickly getting himself tidied up from his slumming around the flat clothes to meet her. 

Arriving at the coffee shop, Malcolm spotted her at a table with two coffees in front of her. As he approached, she got up to give him a hug and kiss him on the lips. The more she kissed him, the more he found himself aching for her. But here in the coffee shop, Malcolm found himself sitting beside her rather than across from her. Sarah edged her chair closer to his and slipping an arm around his waist. Malcolm draped his arm around her as well, resting it on the back of her chair. 

‘I was worried you know.’ Sarah said, her head resting on his shoulder.

‘About what?’ 

‘That the break would mean I wouldn’t be able to have coffee with you.’

‘Fuck that. Nothing would stop me having a coffee with you, darling.’

‘I’m glad.’ Sarah smiled at him. ‘Maybe we can meet here again on Thursday? I’ve been using the time off to work on some other course work for my photography classes at the studio. So it’s close enough to meet you easily.’

‘I’d love that, Sarah.’ He turned to her, a smile wide on his face and he was pleased when she kissed him. He expected her hand on his beard and then the comment about it after. Which she did, stroking the beard and then clucking at the feel of it. Malcolm gave her a bit of a squeeze around the shoulders.


	30. Chapter 30

‘Sarah, Malcolm.’ John nodded to the two of them as they walked into the studio the last Saturday before Christmas. Pedro was already at the framing table working on a smaller piece on his own.   
‘John!’ Sarah greeted her godfather with a hug while Malcolm set both their bags by the computer desk. ‘Thought you’d be all wrapped up for the holidays by now.’

‘Had some last orders get placed from last night’s exhibit.’ John explained. 

‘Don’t be fucking showing them off to me.’ Malcolm grumbled. The last exhibit had been one of all male nudes which, despite Sarah trying very hard to get him to go, he had flat out refused. In his words, ‘If you want to go get all hot and bothered over naked latin men you go right ahead. I’ve got abso-fucking-lutely no interest in that myself. And I certainly don’t want any of the fucking men that’ll show up there wanting to fucking grope my ass.’ Sarah had laughed at him but cut it off at his glowering look. She looked genuinely apologetic and calmed him down with a long, soft kiss. 

‘Wouldn’t dream of it, Malcolm.’ John assured his friend. ‘What I was going to ask you two was if you were interested in a Christmas Eve gathering at the gallery. Just my staff and best clients. I’m laying on a good spread for them all.’

‘Up to Sarah if she want’s too.’ Malcolm declared as he grabbed them each a coffee out of the pot that had been made by Pedro earlier. 

‘Malcolm,’ Sarah chided him. ‘You make it sound as if I’m the only reason you do anything.’

‘It’s not that.’ Malcolm said, refuting her. ‘I’m not exactly one of the art clique that’s going to be there. John I can hang out with any time.’

‘You can be so very difficult at times, Malcolm.’ John just waited, watching the interplay between the two of them. With a shake of her head, Sarah answered her godfather. ‘WE will be there for your party, John. And I will make sure that Malcolm smiles for it.’

‘Great.’ John smiled at his god-daughter and at his old friend. Malcolm was just looking mildly chagrined. John left the two of them to their work at the computers and went back to framing with Pedro.

‘All you had to do was say you wanted to go,’ Malcolm said in a quiet voice. 

‘And all you had to do was say no, you didn’t want to go. I do hate that you just do anything and everything I do all the time.’

‘Because I’m a fucking old Scot that just sits about his flat, working and drinking scotch. You’re the one that comes up with ideas to do things together.’ Sarah thought about continuing the argument but cut off her response. Instead, the two of them quietly began to focus on their work at the separate computers.


	31. Chapter 31

Christmas Eve. Malcolm had spent a good deal of time getting ready. As he was trimming his beard over the bathroom sink he had stopped and stared at his face in the mirror. She had kissed him last night again when he had been dropped off at his flat by her. It was never spoken out loud but he never stopped her kissing him and she didn’t stop herself. He didn’t push the issue though, he dared not. Not while she still wore her wedding ring. Ryan was still anchoring her heart somewhere. 

His hand ran over his beard. Another sore point, he sighed at his reflection. Sarah really didn’t like it but he’d grown to like it himself. But, deep inside, if she ever told him flat out to get rid of it he’d be shaving it off immediately. She hadn’t, so he kept it. 

Now, he was going to go spend the evening with her at the gallery, trying to fit in with the artsy types while all he wanted was to escape to his place and sit with her on his sofa, his arm around her. ‘Stop that you fucker!’ Malcolm snapped at himself out loud. He had managed to get himself partially aroused at the thought of just kissing her. Splashing cold water on his face, Malcolm managed to stop his thoughts and settled down.

Sarah arrived at his flat on time to pick him up. Joining her in the passenger seat he leaned over to snatch a kiss from her, enjoying the lingering touch of her soft lips on his. ‘Going to be a good boy tonight, Malcolm?’

‘I’m not going to be grumpy. I promise.’ Malcolm assured her. 

‘Good. Just a pleasant evening out at the gallery and then home.’ Sarah drove the busy streets of the city to the gallery, circling around a few times until she found a free parking spot. The brisk evening found her up close against him with his arm around her. Soon enough, they were inside the gallery, coats hung up and wine flowing to warm them from the inside. Sarah was more at home than Malcolm was and he took her lead with the gathered guests. As they chatted easily with another couple, Pedro’s laugh got their attention. 

‘Ha ha ha! Look you two!’ Pedro pointed up above their heads. 

Malcolm looked up to see the small cluster of green and red mistletoe. ‘John! You bastard!’ Sarah was smiling at his reaction before she reached to his beard, gripping the hair gently to guide his lips to hers. Malcolm hesitated briefly, aware of eyes watching them but Sarah’s lips were too persistent, too soft and too tasty. Her hands rested on his shoulders as he laid a palm on one of her cheeks. 

Pedro was standing by John, watching the two. ‘Amantes.’ He whispered as his hand curled around John’s. ‘You deny then still?’

John’s hand lifted Pedro’s to his lips and kissed his young lover’s fingers. ‘No. No more.’


	32. Chapter 32

Malcolm spent as much time as he could with Sarah over the holidays. He ignored the voices in the back of his head that kept reminding him about classes and what he would have to talk to Sarah about. He’d had one scare over an allegation but now, his growing relationship with Sarah was kicking his panic up a notch. There was no way he’d be able to continue seeing her this often once classes were back on. He didn’t want to pull back though. Malcolm threw down the magazine he’d been reading on the sofa beside him. Sarah had dropped him off hours before after a long day at the studio with her. The long lingering kiss in her car before he had left her to drive off had left him hot and bothered. 

The magazine he’d been reading wasn’t helping him at all. He wasn’t able to concentrate on it any longer. Giving up, Malcolm hoisted himself up from his sofa and headed to the washroom. Stripping out of his shirt and trousers, not bothering to slip his belt out of the loops, Malcolm started up the shower. Waiting for the water to heat up, he looked at himself in the mirror, teasing at a few hairs that were kinked a bit in his beard. A quick snip of his scissors and the offending hairs were gone. He went to slip his boxers off and groaned. ‘Fucking hell.’ Easing the waistband out he got them off over his growing erection.

Stepping into the shower, Malcolm tried to ignore his condition and began to lather up. Stop thinking about her, he told himself. You’re only making it worse for yourself. He kept trying to convince himself but just the thought of her long brown hair, soft and silky in his fingers as he kissed her that evening. The way her hands always ran over his beard before giving it a tug of disapproval. Malcolm’s lips parted as the hot water beat against his chest. His hands continued to work the soap over his skin, rubbing over his chest where Sarah’s hands liked to rest when they kissed. ‘Fuck.’ He groaned again as soap ran down his chest and over his stomach.

As the soap reached the mound of salt and pepper hair that circled his erection, Malcolm slid his hand down to massage it into the coarser strands. ‘Oh god, Sarah.’ He whispered her name and stepped forward into the cascading water until it ran over his face, beading on his beard. Blowing out a breath, he gave in again. Long fingers drifted up the length of his rigid member until he reached the head before wrapping tight around it. It throbbed so much it almost hurt, Malcolm groaned and tightened his grip. The soap was slick as he began to slide his fist up and down the length. Malcolm closed his eyes, his free hand rubbing his chest as if it were Sarah’s hand on him. Tilting his head forward, letting the water beat now on the back of his head Malcolm began to breathe harder and faster. ‘Sarah.’ He whispered her name over and over again as he leaned forward to brace his free hand against the wall of the shower. Water streamed down his back as he pistoned his hand on his cock. ‘Fuck!’ He cried out as his body spasmed with his orgasm. The pulsing jet of his cum lost amongst the pools of suds and water at his feet.

He slapped the wall of the shower with his hand, frustrated that he’d given in to his need. ‘What the fuck would Sarah think of you, old man?’ Malcolm stood under the still warm water, washing the rest of the soap off of himself. At least it only took the once to relieve himself. Thinking more clearly now that he’d worked the tension out of his cock, Malcolm decided that the best thing would be to go to the office on Tuesday and schedule a meeting with Faber. No way was he going to fuck himself over or Sarah over what had been going on between them.


	33. Chapter 33

‘Sarah,’ Malcolm sat in the passenger seat of her car after spending the last Saturday before classes were due to start back up with her at the studio. ‘I need to talk to you about something.’

‘What’s going on? You’ve been pretty quiet all day.’ Sarah glanced at him with worry.

‘I .. fuck this is hard … classes start up on Tuesday.’

‘Oh.’ Sarah knew, he thought judging by her tone.

‘Yeah.’ Malcolm sighed, shifting in the seat uncomfortably. ‘We can’t.. I mean.. you and I..’

‘Malcolm.’ Sarah reached out a hand to rest it on his thigh and giving him a gentle squeeze. ‘It’s not going to be easy for either of us.’

‘This is just .. fuck.’ Malcolm groaned and turned away from her peripheral view. They continued in silence until they got to his flat. Sarah wouldn’t hear of his telling her to go home right away. Instead, she insisted on joining him inside and soon they were seated together on the sofa. Malcolm sat sideways to face her. His hand reached out to hers to take it in his larger hand, curling his fingers around hers before drawing it to his lips and kissing her softly. For a moment, he chewed on his lower lip before he gazed into her eyes. ‘Sarah, I hate this so fucking much but we can’t carry on this way and not expect a shitstorm to land on us if we try to keep seeing each other while you’re in my class.’

Sarah reached out to stroke his bearded cheek, not tugging at in her usual disapproval this time, but just pressing her palm against him. ‘I know, Malcolm. I know.’

‘They take it too fucking seriously. The allegation earlier..’

‘I know!’ Sarah surged towards him but stopped short of throwing her arms around him. The flashing of the lamp light on her wedding ring caught her eye. ‘I know.’ She spoke again more softly. 

‘I’m .. I.. fuck.’ Malcolm found it hard to talk. ‘I’m going to fucking talk to Faber. See what’ll be fucking best so that you don’t get hurt. I’m not going to see your progress get all fucked over just because I fucking love you so goddamn much!’ The words rushed out of him. He held his breath as he realized that he’d admitted it to her finally. 

Sarah held her breath for a long minute herself. The word rang loud in her head. When she next breathed it was long drawn in gasp before she could respond. Malcolm however was first to recover. ‘I”m sorry. I didn’t mean.. fuck. Sarah. I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you!’

‘Malcolm. I don’t know what to say.’ Sarah just locked her eyes on his, her heart snapping into fragments under the surge of emotions. 

‘I’m sorry. I should have told you fucking ages ago but I couldn’t. I know you’re still grieving for Ryan. I’m not intruding on that. Never. I respect you so fucking much, Sarah. I’ll be here waiting for you until you are ready or even if you never are or if you find some fucking young latin man to fall in love with! Fuck!’ Malcolm turned away his face, hoping she couldn’t see the tears welling in his eyes. 

‘What do you think we share, Malcolm?’ Sarah asked quietly.

‘I don’t know. No, fuck. I know I love you. Nothing is going to fucking change that. I hope that I’ve at least been able to comfort you and help you get better.’ Nervously he scratched the back of his head, avoiding her look.

Sarah took hold of his face in her palms, turning him back to face her. ‘Malcolm. You have helped me so very much. Before you came to the beach house I was locked in my heart, thinking only of Ryan. You showed me that I could be friends again with a man without feeling like I was cheating on Ryan’s memory.’

Malcolm smiled and laid his hands on hers. ‘I’m glad, Sarah. I want to be your friend. No matter what the fuck else happens. That’s why.. ‘ He gulped. 

‘Is that why you’re so shy about going any further?’

He nodded. ‘You have to be the one who’s ready to go further.’ Malcolm reached out and stroked her hair back away from her eyes, pushing the long strands behind her ear and lightly touching her cheek with his fingertips.

‘That means so much to me, Malcolm. Every hug you’ve given me has helped me so much. You’re such a warm, caring, gentle man. I could not ask for any better in a friend.’ Sarah told him. ‘It’s more than that now, Malcolm.’ 

‘I’d like it to be more.’ Malcolm admitted in a soft voice which threatened to give out on him.

Sarah pulled away from Malcolm, her gaze falling to her wedding ring. ‘I want it to be more as well, Malcolm.’ Her actions seemed to be in slow motion as her fingers rested on her wedding ring, stroking it slowly before she grasped it and, working against the resistance of a ring that hadn’t been removed for a long time, it finally moved and Sarah drew it from her finger. Malcolm held his breath, watching her movements. ‘I will always love Ryan, he’ll always be in my heart. But, my heart is emptier without him. Malcolm, you came into my life and showed me not only what a true friend you are but you’ve also shown me that I don’t have to live a life with an empty heart.’

‘I love you, Sarah. I don’t want you to ever be sad again.’ Malcolm felt his heart hammer in his chest. He looked at the wedding band that laid in the palm of her hand and curled his hand over hers, folding her fingers over it. ‘I’ll never replace Ryan. I don’t want too. I just want to love you.’

Sarah smiled, tears slowly tracking down her cheeks until Malcolm raised his hands to wipe the tears from her face. ‘Malcolm, I love you.’ Her arms went round him to pull him close and kiss him deeply. Her hand still clutched the wedding band tight in her grip but she didn’t hold back her heart this time. 

Reluctantly, Malcolm finally pulled from her hungry lips and stroked her face carefully. ‘Sarah,’ He swallowed hard. ‘I want to, ah.. I need to.. but..’ Sarah buried her face in the crook of his neck, nodding at what he was going to say. ‘We can’t. Not until.’

‘I know.’ She whispered. ‘I know.’ Her hands ran through his beard to his lips, drifting lightly over them. ‘Kiss me at least.’ Malcolm drew her into his body and kissed her.


	34. Chapter 34

The next evening, Malcolm had invited Sarah over for dinner and laid on a romantic dinner with candles and wine for the two of them. It had been difficult to watch her leave his place the night before but they both knew why. It was just a matter of time now, he thought. Get through the rest of the semester and then they’d be free to take up together as they wished. He’d have to let Faber know and go from there as to what he said would be best all around. Whistling happily, he checked on dinner as he waited for her to arrive. 

Habit had her knock on the door first but then she just let herself in. Malcolm emerged from the kitchen, a hand towel cleaning off his fingers from his efforts at dinner. ‘Sarah!’

‘Malcolm.’ Sarah came over to him, hugging him before kissing him deeply again. ‘Love.’ Her hand ran over his beard before the sharp wrinkling of her nose in disapproval. 

He laughed, ‘Love me, love my beard!’ 

‘We’ll see.’ Sarah threatened lightly and caught sight of the table. ‘Malcolm! What is this?’

‘Ah, my love, I want to treat you right.’

‘You were treating me right before!’ 

‘You haven’t seen me at my best, love.’ Malcolm grinned at her. ‘But, there is still that fucking issue about the classes that I want to get worked out with Faber before we go much further.’

‘I was thinking about that today, Malcolm.’ Sarah let him seat her at the table and watched him pour her wine. 

‘I’m going to get hold of Faber in the morning, get an appointment and hammer something out. Obviously I can’t fucking still be your professor but I’m thinking if I get some idea of what is okay and what isn’t then we can work things out for the next few months. Or maybe get the TA’s to have the only ..’

‘Malcolm. Stop.’ Sarah smiled. ‘I’ve already come up with an alternative.’

‘Huh?’ He sat down across from her. ‘What then?’

‘I’ve already had a word with the photography department head. I have his number as I’m in one of his courses. There’s an alternate journalism course with a greater focus on the photographic side that I can transfer to and keep my progress. Technically I’ve been taking photos throughout the course that counts towards the portfolio requirements.’

‘You have? You can?” Malcolm began to grin. 

‘Yes and yes.’

‘Shit.’ He sank his chin onto his hand, leaning towards her in amazement. ‘So, you go to a different class? Then you won’t be in mine anymore.’

‘I’d rather pass on your lectures so I can spend time having coffee with you.’ Her hand reached out to stroke up and down his arm. 

Malcolm looked at her shyly. ‘Is it bad that I wish you could stay in my class?’

‘No, not bad at all,’ Sarah laughed. ‘I’ll confirm on Monday but he sounded quite sure that it wouldn’t be a problem. The class time is a bit longer but it won’t conflict with our coffee times.’

‘Our coffee times.’ Malcolm grinned. ‘I like the sound of that a lot.’

‘Just one more day, Malcolm.’ Sarah held his hands and squeezed them tight.


	35. Chapter 35

Malcolm was at home, beginning to work on the next week’s column before classes began the next day. He jumped slightly when his phone rang, breaking the silence and his train of thought. Looking at the caller ID he broke into a smile at Sarah’s name. ‘Hey, love.’ 

‘Malcolm.’ Her voice was warm. ‘I do adore the way you’ve started to call me that.’

‘Love.’ He repeated it for both of their benefits. ‘Can’t help it, now that you know how I feel about you.’

‘And you, Malcolm, are my beloved.’ Sarah sighed. ‘Now, before I get all lost in just listening to your Scottish burr, I called you for a good reason.’

‘And listening to my Scottish burr isn’t good enough?’

‘You know what I mean, you charmer. I called to let you know that my transfer to the photojournalist course was approved and I’m in class tomorrow morning.’

‘That’s great news! So, coffee after my lecture then?’

‘You got it! So long as you don’t go getting attracted to some other hot young lady in your class now that I’m not in it.’

Malcolm had to pause before realizing she was teasing him. ‘Yeah. I’ll go for that blonde that’s always sitting up the front.’

‘Don’t you dare!’ Sarah had taken him seriously until she caught his soft laugh and began to laugh herself. ‘Bastard.’

‘Ah, love, like I could ever be attracted to another woman now that I’ve got your heart.’ Malcolm couldn’t help but beam happily. ‘Doing anything tonight?’

‘I’ve got loads to do! The professor of the photojournalism class wants me to bring in some of my portfolio to work on a fast track subject for my final. I’m going to seriously try for that happy theme. It just won’t be as digitally manipulated for the class.’

‘I can’t wait to see it.’ 

‘Not till the end of the year. I want to surprise you with it.’ Sarah was leaning forward at her desk as if he were sitting there. 

‘A surprise? Why?’

‘Well, I’d been planning it partially to be an end of semester gift for you.’

‘You don’t have to do that, love! Just being with you is such a wonderful gift.’

‘Oh you silly romantic man!’

‘Only with you, love! Don’t go spreading that fucking rumour on campus. Last thing I need is for my scowls to be no more effective than that fucking grumpy cat creature online!’

Sarah laughed. ‘On that note, Malcolm my love, I shall blow you a kiss goodnight and I’ll meet you for coffee tomorrow.’

‘Mmm, kiss and hug for you, my love!’ Malcolm hung up the phone, a big grin on his face and turned back to his work.


	36. Chapter 36

‘Christ on a fucking cracker.’ Malcolm sat heavily in the chair across from Sarah at the coffee shop a few weeks after they’d settled into their new routine. ‘I get out of fucking class with a message to go to a meeting with Faber tomorrow morning first fucking thing and to fucking top it off like a goddamn cherry on a melting ice cream sundae I’ve got an email on my mobile that there’s a fucking crisis over the fucking vote coming up in the UK over remaining in the EU and naturally my editor wants me to whip some fucking column out of my ass by Friday!’

Sarah sat and let him vent until he exhausted himself and went quiet. ‘Well, just think about it, Malcolm. You know you’ll get a good bonus off the extra column and you're still so tuned into the politics over there that you’ll easily write it.’

‘They want the fucking column by tomorrow fucking night so that they can review it Thursday am, have me do any updates and then print it on the Friday edition. And that’s with my usual Friday night deadline of my regular fucking column.’ Malcolm reached over and took hold of Sarah’s hand. ‘I hate to think what Faber’s going to fucking want. If I have to do any sort of complaints hearings while I’m fucking bollocks deep with the paper don’t know what I’ll fucking do!’

‘Oh, Malcolm. You’ll be fine. Every meeting you’ve had with Faber has always been to keep you in the loop on complaints and go over them. He’s never had any issues aside from that one allegation of sexual misconduct.’ Her hand squeezed his tightly.

‘The fucking worst of it is that I’m not going to be able to fucking go to the gallery with you on Friday night! Fuck, I may not be able to actually spend any fucking time with you until goddamn Sunday.’

‘Sunday night will be just fine, Malcolm. I’ve got a lot to do myself. I’ve got all of my course work and now that we’re leading into the spring, John’s got me doing some extra photo shoots for clients.’

‘That’s fucking right, he said he got a whole bunch of requests in the coming spring fashion shows around town. He’s got you helping out too then?’

‘Yes. Between himself and Pedro there’s still too many jobs to cover so I’m helping out.’ Sarah’s thumb was rubbing along the base of Malcolm’s thumb sending little shivers up his arm, making him smile. ‘Sunday dinner for sure, right?’

‘My place. I’ll whip you up something grand.’


	37. Chapter 37

It took all of Malcolm’s will power to last until the Sunday evening. The news he’d had from Faber the past Wednesday had been the best news he could ever have gotten. Faber had put his name forward for a permanent position as a lecturer at the University. Malcolm had been thrilled by the news. His first thought had been to tell Sarah right away but then thought to keep it quiet until the Sunday evening. Then he’d tell her after they’d eaten and settled down to enjoy drinks together. 

Now, he had dinner in the oven and the table all laid out for the two of them. Wine was ready to be poured. On his kitchen counter was a small chocolate cheesecake waiting for dessert. Coffee was ready to put on. With the preparations all made, Malcolm went off to the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready. He’d been to the barber’s on Saturday and his hair had been trimmed along with his beard. He hoped Sarah didn’t think he’d gotten to be looking more grumpy than before. He smiled at his reflection and teased at his hair a bit. 

Malcolm had just pulled on his jumper when he heard the knock at his door then the opening of it. Emerging from the bedroom, he broke into a wide grin ‘Sarah! Love!’

‘Malcolm!’ Sarah came up to him and welcomed his hug. She snuggled up close to his chest. ‘I want to say you smell wonderful but think that what I’m really smelling is your cooking, isn’t it?’

‘Ooh! Harsh woman!’ Malcolm grinned and, with his arm on her shoulders, he lead her to the table.

‘You’ve gone all out this time.’

‘Missed you a lot this week, love.’ Malcolm said, kissing her on the cheek once she was sat down. 

They enjoyed their dinner together, laughing and talking. The chocolate cheesecake got shared between them with one plate and one fork until the two of them were almost breathless. It was mutual when they finished with dessert and retired to his sofa, overlooked by the picture of Brooklyn Bridge in the moonlight. Malcolm sat beside Sarah, an arm around her and her body close to his. When she looked up at him, her hand raised to lightly tug on his beard with that quick look he was used to. As he peered down into her eyes, he bent slightly and then his lips found hers. 

Sarah was as eager as he was and moved against him until she was seated comfortably for them to kiss more passionately. Her fingers tangled in his beard, holding him as her tongue drove into his mouth. Malcolm was always waiting for her signal as to how far to take things. Still, she was content with their kissing for some time. Taking a breath, Malcolm stroked her face and enjoyed the flush of her cheeks.

‘Almost forgot.’ He began, almost breathless. ‘Have some news for you.’

Sarah’s fingers had moved from his beard to his chest, caressing him through his jumper. ‘What news?’

‘The University is proposing to hire me on permanently.’ His grin was wide and Sarah congratulated him by flinging her arms around his neck to pull him into yet another long, passionate kiss. Her fingers threaded through his shorter hair, holding him as she held him close for a long time. 

‘That is such a wonderful news, Malcolm!’ Sarah said when they finally took a breath again. ‘I was so worried.’

‘Worried? About what?’ Malcolm asked.

‘That if you lost your position at the University you may want to return to the UK.’ She looked shyly downward.

‘I’d only ever move if it were something we were both wanting to do.’ Malcolm told her.

‘Both of us?’ Sarah looked up into his eyes.

‘Yeah. I found you, I love you. You love me. I’m not fucking going anywhere without you in my life now, love.’ 

‘Oh, Malcolm!’ Sarah leaned into him again for a long kiss, slow and passionate once more. As she did, her hands moved over his chest. Then, for the first time since they had begun to date each other seriously, her hands curled into his jumper and began to tug it upwards, freeing it from his belted waist. Once his shirt was freed as well, Sarah’s hands snaked under his clothes to touch his skin.

‘Sarah.’ He breathed her name when she moved from kissing his lips to his neck where his beard ended. Malcolm groaned and began to work her blouse free as well but still he was tentative about going the next step. Sarah surged towards him, pressing her breasts against him. His large hands pushed her blouse up until he could take her breasts in his palms. She moaned in response, her fingers searching for his nipples to touch them. Gathering her close, he bodily moved her onto his lap. She straddled him, looking down on him for a moment before falling to kissing him once more as his hands teased and played with the mounds of her breasts. 

She caught her breath as his lips moved from hers to slowly kiss and nibble over her neck. Sarah took hold of her blouse and drew it up and over her head to sit there on his lap, nearly naked from the waist up. Malcolm licked his lips and rested his hands on her waist as he continued to kiss and lick her wherever he could reach. The soft hair of his beard brushed over her skin as he tasted her. Through her bra, he suckled on her nipples until the fabric was damp. Sarah was moaning, her hands in his hair to direct him from one breast to the other. 

Malcolm began to kiss the underside of her breasts, breathing in her scent deeply. With his hands to steady her, she leaned back as his lips explored downward over her stomach. His tongue teased around her belly button. The soft scratching of his beard on her skin made her laugh lightly but seductively. 

A soft tone sounded, interrupting Malcolm’s attention on kissing further down towards her trousers.

‘Damnit!’ Sarah groaned as she pulled away to reach into her bag. Pulling out her phone she looked at it. ‘Oh no! I forgot that there was an evening photo shoot for my one class tonight!’

‘Fucking fuck me.’ Malcolm sat back on the sofa, groaning. His shirt was pulled askew and his hair was mussed. Sarah began to re-dress herself. 

‘Oh Malcolm.’ She looked at him with genuine regret. ‘You know I’m sorry!’

‘I know, love. I know.’ Malcolm smiled at her. 

Sarah leaned over and kissed him on the lips again. Laying her hand on his bearded cheek she smiled at him. ‘Tuesday coffee?’

‘Never going to miss that, love.’ Malcolm took hold of her hand to stop her for another moment. ‘Sarah, I meant it.’

‘Malcolm,’ Sarah’s eyes were pools of emotion. ‘I would never do anything without you either. You are my heart now.’

‘When you’re ready.’

‘When we’re both ready, Malcolm.’ Sarah kissed him lightly last time before she ran out of his apartment. 

Malcolm sighed happily. ‘My love.’


	38. Chapter 38

‘Don’t forget tomorrow night, Malcolm.’ Sarah reminded him.

‘Tomorrow? Saturday night we’re doing dinner.’

‘Friday night is the party that John’s holding for me at the gallery! You getting forgetful on me already, old man?’ Sarah shook her head at him, laughing at his confused look. ‘Saturday night is the party for just the two of us that you insisted on holding. I’m looking forward to that. I hope you got me a really good birthday present!’ 

‘Yeah, of course I did! Just had other things on my mind just then. Tomorrow night. The gallery.’ 

‘Until then.’ She planted a kiss on his lips and then was off out of the coffee shop. 

Malcolm sat there and stared at his empty cup. Shit, he told himself off. How the fuck could I almost forget her birthday! You fucking numpty! Right, he thought. This is NOT the end of the world. He pulled out his phone and called John.

‘How’s my Scottish grumpy grandfather!’ John answered his phone.

‘I’m doing just fine, you fucking perverted ponce. I need to drop by tonight and talk to you.’

‘I have clients coming by at 8pm but if you get here early enough we can have a coffee.’ 

‘I’ll make it and get gone before your young men show up.’

‘Jealousy!’ John teased Malcolm and laughed at the snort of disgust he got in response before the line went silent. 

After he was done for the day at the University, Malcolm headed to the gallery and met Pedro as he was leaving. ‘You need anything from the deli, Malcolm?’ 

‘I’m good, thanks. Not staying that long. Just need to talk to John about something.’

‘He told you we have a shoot tonight?’ 

‘Yeah, I know. I’ll be gone. Don’t fucking worry!’ Entering the studio, Malcolm called out to his friend and was soon waved over to the large sofa with a coffee in his hands. 

‘So, what did you need to talk to Dr. John about.’

‘It’s not a fucking therapy session,’ Malcolm rolled his eyes at his friend’s teasing. “I have a serious question to ask you.’

‘Oh. A ‘serious’ question. That’s new for you.’

‘It’s about Sarah.’ Malcolm said and John immediately switched from teasing to sitting up. ‘It’s her birthday tomorrow.’

‘It is.’ John waited.

‘I forgot about it!’ Malcolm admitted. 

‘You forgot it was Sarah’s birthday tomorrow?’

‘I did!’ Malcolm groaned. ‘I haven’t got her anything at all. What can I get for her?’

‘You’re idea of a serious question is what gift to get Sarah for her birthday?’ John began to laugh.

‘I’m fucking serious, John! I love her!’

‘We knew that already.’ John wiped away a tear of laughter. 

‘No, seriously, John. I’m not ever letting her go.’

John sighed at the tone of Malcolm’s voice. ‘This is it then?’

‘I’m not proposing to her if that’s what you’re thinking. But I’m serious about her being the only woman I’ll ever love for the rest of my life.’

‘Which is as good as you proposing to her.’ John told him. ‘What are you asking me then, old friend.’

‘You know I love Sarah, John. I’m telling you here and now that she is as much in love with me and this is fucking serious. I want to ask her to live with me and I’m hoping that you’re not going to protest.’

John sat forward, looking at his coffee cup for a long silent moment. ‘She’s my family, Malcolm. I love her to bits. I won’t stand for her being hurt.’

‘I would never hurt Sarah. She’s more precious to me than any other fucking thing I’ve ever had in my life.’

‘Even me?’ John challenged his old friend.

Malcolm heaved in a big breath. ‘Yeah. If you forced me to choose between Sarah and you. I’d choose Sarah. I don’t fucking want to but that’s who I would choose.’

‘If you ever hurt her, I will have you hurt so bad in return.’ 

‘I swear to you on our friendship, John, that I would never hurt Sarah.’

John nodded. He knew that Malcolm was speaking from his heart. ‘You have my blessing, Malcolm.’

‘Thank you, John.‘ Malcolm looked elated at John’s words.


	39. Chapter 39

Malcolm sat at his table the next morning. He still had no idea what he could get Sarah for her birthday. Drinking his coffee, he idly scratched at his beard as he mulled over what he could buy for her. He wanted to show her how much he loved her and that he was committing himself to her forever. Some coffee had dripped onto the table from his coffee mug, leaving a wet puddle on the table top. Idly, Malcolm drew a figure 8 in the coffee. Then it hit him. 

‘Fucking infinity! That’s what I’ll get her!’ Idea in mind, Malcolm was soon dressed and out on the streets. There were only a few jewellers that he would want to trust with something like he wanted and none of them had the means to have what he was wanting made easily. Placing his order and expecting at least a few weeks wait he was still stuck without a present for Sarah.

Sitting on the subway heading home, Malcolm stared at his reflection in the glass across from him. Stroking his beard, he paused in thought. He did like it. Sarah didn’t. At his stop, Malcolm got off and headed to the local drug store. There he purchased a razor and some shaving cream. 

At his flat, Malcolm stripped out of his shirt and filled the bathroom sink. Soon, he had his beard covered with shaving cream and began the long process of shedding his full beard. He nicked his skin a few times but managed to not look like a peeled hedgehog by the end of it. Tilting his head back and forth, he admitted that he had done quite a good job and splashed on some aftershave. 

John had warned him to be at his best for the party at the gallery so he went with a proper full suit, waistcoat and tie. He hadn’t worn it in some time and found it a little tight around his stomach. With a breath in, Malcolm sucked in his stomach a moment before letting it out again. All the good food, scotch and sitting around with Sarah was taking its toll on him. He’d have to get back into his walking again, Malcolm thought to himself. Even with the slightly bigger stomach, Malcolm looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled broadly. He had gotten used to the beard but he grudgingly had to admit that he did look younger without it. Then came the thought of Sarah’s fingers on his cheek the way she would touch him with his beard. ‘Slow down, old fart.’ He told himself off.

Arriving at the gallery in a cab, he didn’t know if Sarah would be there yet or not. All he knew was that she’d had a lot of work to get done for her courses before the weekend if she were going to have a free few days to celebrate with her friends and with Malcolm. He’d already done the shopping he’d needed to make the dinner he had promised her. Tonight he hoped that she’d be up to coming to his place with him. He had begun to think that it was time now that maybe Sarah would be willing to take the next step with him and stay the night with him at his palce. 

There was a good crowd of people all there for Sarah. He recognized a few students from his own class who just nodded to him and then kept their distance from him. Malcolm could imagine why. Those were the ones dressed in suits or casual dress. Then there were the ones that Sarah must have had invited that were in her photography classes, these were the ones in their best jeans, dressy tops and stylish jackets. Also they seemed to all have longer or coloured hair. The divide was easy for Malcolm to see, having been used to seeing similar situations in his times at public gatherings for his prior job. There were also a number of more mature invitees that Malcolm reckoned were connections she would know from the gallery. 

‘Who invited this stranger to the party!’ John’s voice carried over the general noise of the party and Malcolm rolled his eyes as his old friend barrelled through the crowd towards Malcolm. ‘What have you done with my favourite foul mouthed Scot with the Greek grandfather beard.’

‘Leave off John!’ Malcolm tried to brush off his friend’s ribbing but John was soon on top of him, hands on both of Malcolm’s clean-shaven cheeks to plant a wet, noisy kiss on his lips. ‘Malcolm! Old friend! You finally made it to New York!’

‘Keep it up, ya fucking old poof and Pedro’s going to be looking for a new sugar daddy!’ Malcolm shot back after wiping his lips free of John’s kiss before hugging his friend tight. 

‘Took you long enough to listen to my advice.’ John was waving Pedro to join them with some drinks. ‘You just got here, Malcolm?’

‘Yeah. Where’s Sarah?’ Malcolm was glancing around the crowd. 

‘She is but I think she got dragged to the little girl’s room by some of her friends. I believe word’s gotten out that you and Sarah are an item.’

‘Oh fuck,’ Malcolm groaned.

‘Embarrassed?’ John teased. 

‘I hope she’s not getting fucking stitched up by her mates over me.’

‘Like Pedro’s friends get on his nuts over me?’ John smiled and shook his head at Malcolm. ‘Love wins out all the time doesn’t it?’

‘We dream that it does.’ Malcolm said pointedly at John.

‘Ah, yes. It does. If not always the way we would like it too.’ John gave Malcolm another hug. ‘Now, we’ve got a table set up by the cake for Sarah’s gifts.’

Malcolm looked slightly sheepish and scratched his bare cheek. ‘Yeah. The gift. Well… ah.. I was going to give her my gift tomorrow. Tonight um, I thought Id a.. well. surprise her and, well…’ Malcolm stammered and then pointed at his face.

John bellowed with laughter. ‘You typical fucking cheap Scot! Trust you to come up with a gift that cost you nothing!’

Malcolm rolled his eyes at his friend’s reaction. ‘Not fucking cheap.’ He grumbled. ‘Just, not ready.’

‘Sorry?’ John leaned forward and laughed again. ‘You forgot Sarah’s birthday!’

‘Can you let the whole fucking world know you fucking poof.’ Malcolm glowered at his friend.

From behind, Malcolm heard Sarah, ‘John are you giving Malcolm a hard time again? I’m going to have to put some rules in place about how you treat Malcolm now.’ Her arms slipped around him from behind to hug him. 

‘Now now, my dear, you know Malcolm and I just like to tease each other.’ 

‘Leave it at teasing, John.’ Sarah warned him with a smile. ‘I’ve missed you Malcolm.’ She left off hugging him to move round to his side and caught sight for the first time of his smooth cheeks. She squealed with delight and was planting kisses on both cheeks. ‘You shaved!’

‘Happy Birthday, love.’ Malcolm grinned before she silenced him with a long kiss on his lips. 

John watched silently, slightly embarrassed and jealous of his god-daughter’s attention on Malcolm. The sensation of a hand slipping into his own broke his gaze from the couple before him. Glancing to his side he gazed into Pedro’s eyes and didn’t hesitate when his young lover tugged him away.

Malcolm only caught a brief glimpse of his friend turning to go before finding himself being hugged tightly by Sarah. He smiled into her eyes, his hand brushing strands of her long hair away from her face. ‘I love you, Sarah.’

‘My beloved Scot.’ She kissed him again with a little less urgency this time.

By the end of the evening, Malcolm was ready to be alone with Sarah. Having spent the evening at her side had been one of the most enjoyable evenings he had spent in a long while. When her hand sought his, he would fold his fingers over hers gently until she squeezed him tighter. Throughout the evening, they were surrounded by friends until people started to drift away to go home. Then he was able to get a moment alone with Sarah, hugging her against his body. ‘Love.’

‘Malcolm.’ She rested her head on his shoulder.

‘Tonight has been wonderful.’

‘It has been. With you.’ Sarah smiled up at him.

‘I don’t want it to end, love.’ Malcolm dropped his voice lower for just her to hear.

‘Neither do I.’ Sarah responded in a soft voice. 

‘I never want it to end.’ He admitted to her.

Sarah turned to him, her arms around him as she gazed up into his eyes. ‘Never?’

‘Never, love.’ He bent to kiss her lips softly. After parting once more, he continued. ‘Would you maybe…’ Malcolm got shy a moment. ‘Sarah, I don’t want to live apart from you.’

‘I hate being apart from you as well Malcolm. But I have all my gear in my apartment and you need your space.’

‘All I fucking need is a desk for my laptop and a chair to read in.’ 

‘My place is so much further away from the University. You can just walk there from your place.’

‘My flat is a fucking hole in the fucking wall. And I’m a big boy who can take transit.’ Malcolm grinned and brushed her hair back, stroking it between his fingers. ‘I don’t fucking care where I live, long as I live there with you, love.’

‘We’ll have to sort that out, Malcolm.’ Sarah ran her hand over his cheek. ‘But not tonight.’

‘Not tonight’ Malcolm felt his heart sink.

‘Long term arrangements, Malcolm.’

‘Right, got it. You got plans in the morning then? We’re still on for dinner tomorrow night?’

‘No, no plans for the morning.’ Sarah ran her hand over his chest lightly. ‘You?’

‘Got some reading to do but that’s it. Nothing with a deadline.’ 

‘Well then, that sounds like neither of us are tied up with anything till Sunday.’ Her hand lifted to his cheek, still enjoying the newly shaved face.

‘I was hoping,’ Malcolm tried again but stumbled.

‘Are you going to get all timid on me, Malcolm?’ Sarah teased as he blushed visibly now with no beard to hide it. 

‘Please stay the night with me Sarah. Come home with me? Don’t just stay for a kiss and a cuddle and leave me.’

‘Malcolm!’ Sarah chided him. ‘Didn’t I tell you already that I don’t want the night to end?’

‘But you just said not tonight..’

‘Oh you frustrating old man!’ Sarah slapped him slightly on his cheeks. ‘That was to sort out our future together. Tonight isn’t going to see me leaving your side.’

With obvious relief Malcolm grinned. ‘My place? Then we don’t have to go anywhere until Sunday?’

‘I like the sound of that a lot.’ Sarah’s hands were tugging him to lean into a kiss which they got lost in until John’s cough behind Sarah broke into the moment.

‘I’d like to lock up now, you two lovebirds.’ John interrupted them.

‘Fuck off,’ Malcolm growled but smiled as he spoke.

‘Be nice, Malcolm.’ Sarah told him before hugging her godfather. ‘Thank you for a wonderful party tonight, John.’

‘Ah, my dear, you deserved it. Malcolm treating your right?’

‘Of course he is, John. We’ll get out of here now. I’ll see you next Friday for that photo shoot job?’

‘Be good, Sarah. Later, Malcolm.’ John watched as the two of them left the gallery hand in hand. Pedro followed them to the door and locked it up before turning off the lights. ‘You were right Pedro.’

‘Of course I was, John.’ Pedro shook his head at his older lover. ‘That means you owe me now!’

‘I do. Let’s go home.’


	40. Chapter 40

Neither Malcolm nor Sarah spoke as she drove them to his place. Parking up, Malcolm put an arm around her shoulders as they walked along the late evening streets. Entering his flat, Malcolm took her jacket and hung it up alongside his own, his keys dropped onto the side table with a metallic noise. ‘Nightcap?’

‘I’ve had far too much already tonight, Malcolm.’ Sarah declined and stood in front of his sofa, looking at the picture on his wall with a smile on her face. She had sat on his sofa a number of times now and Malcolm had never mentioned it. He emerged from his kitchen with a glass of scotch for himself, sipping it as he joined her. 

‘Before I knew it was you, we admired that photo of the New Jersey shore at the gallery. Remember?’

‘I do. Seems like a lifetime ago now.’ Sarah squirmed against him, urging him to put his arm around her. She sighed softly when his large hand draped over her shoulder. ‘I left you standing there all confused.’

‘I wanted to buy you the print. No fucking clue who you were but you were so sad and I just wanted you to not be sad any more.’ 

‘Oh Malcolm, you just keep surprising me. No one would ever take you for such a sweet soul if they went off your reputation.’ Sarah delighted in the gentle squeeze of his hand on her. ‘I’m glad you didn’t though. It was only reminding me of sad times.Not like this print you have.’

‘Yeah. I like it. I wanted the one with the moon bigger in the sky but some other fucker got it first. I grabbed this one when it went up.’

‘You have excellent taste.’ Sarah laughed lightly. ‘You never looked at the photographer’s name I bet.’

‘No. Doesn’t matter. It’s a good fucking photo and they got paid for it.’  
‘Adorable man. Look at the artist name.’

Malcolm rolled his eyes but did as she asked, leaning close to the bottom right corner of the print. There he saw the signature of S. Brandt ‘Well, fucking fuck me! I never realized! That’s your fucking work!’

‘It is. We’ve been making out how often under it now?’

‘You should have said!’

‘For the record, when I took that series of pictures it was very cold and I was very alone. So, having you keeping me warm under it has been very welcome!’

‘Talking about fucking surprises.’ Malcolm finished his drink and set the glass down. ‘Now that we’re finally alone.’ Malcolm turned to Sarah, his eyes looking deeply into hers as he ran his fingers through her long hair. ‘Happy Birthday, Sarah.’

‘Thank you, Malcolm.’ Her hand rested on his cheek as he bent to kiss her. With just the two of them there, Malcolm didn’t hold back. His hands found her face, cupping her gently as his head tilted slightly to kiss her deeply. Her lips parted for him and he took the invitation hungrily. His tongue swept into her mouth, tasting her. One large hand slid down from her face to her lower back to push her tighter against his body. Her moan was muffled by their joined lips as her hands roamed over his chest and down to the front of his waistcoat. Sarah’s deft fingers made quick work of the buttons and she was soon spreading the waistcoat to the sides. His crisp white shirt was snug over his belly as she laid her palms on his stomach. Malcolm could feel the growing heat of her arousal even through her touch. 

His own growing desire ached in his trousers as she pressed against him. Malcolm slowly rocked his hips to rub against her through their clothing. Sarah’s fingers threaded into his short hair, tugging him gently to guide his hungry mouth lower. He obliged with a mild resistance to leaving her lips but soon he was enjoying the slightly salty taste of her skin as his lips nipped and sucked their way over her exposed neck. Looking towards her face, Malcolm moaned at the sight of her eyes closed with her lips parted. The flush of her cheeks made his own hunger more intense. His tongue darted out to lick lightly along her collarbone. It was Malcolm’s turn to work on offending buttons. Teasingly he opened each button, spread the fabric and kissed her exposed skin. With a slow, agonizing pace her shirt came undone to reveal more and more of her upper body. 

A groan escaped his lips between his nibbling kisses as he discovered the delights of her breasts for the first time with no clothing between them. Her chest rose and fell with her breathing, her breasts heaving as if to escape her bra. The last button of her blouse was freed and he eased the garment from her shoulders and down off her arms. A brief moment without her touch made him moan again but she quickly went back to stroking him through his shirt. 

Sarah began to attack his shirt as he moved back from her for a moment. His gaze was torn between her eyes and her breasts held in check by a lacy bra. It was her that made the choice for him as she guided his mouth towards hers breasts. One hand cupped her breast while his lips roamed over the exposed top of her soft mound. He could feel the thrumming of her moan as he tasted her. His other hand moved from her back to cup both of them. His large fingers covered her breasts and his thumbs began to circle around her hardening nipples. The hint of sweat and perfume drew his mouth to between them and his tongue drew a long line as far down as he could reach while her bra remained on. He continued his long slow lick up until he reached her lips to lick them as well. Her hands were firmer around his head, tangled in his hair as she held him tight to kiss him passionately. 

Her hands finally released his head, allowing him to return to her breasts. Sarah finished unbuttoning his shirt and worked it off. Raking her fingers over the light dusting of brown grey hair on his chest she found her way to his nipples, teasing and pinching them until he responded with a groan. Malcolm released her breasts from her bra, licking his lips at the soft mounds with the dark pink nipples standing hard for him to lean forward and suck each one of them between his lips. Malcolm felt her fingers dig into his shoulders as her head tilted back. His teeth scraped lightly over the stiff nubs, first one and then the other.

‘Malcolm.’ She breathed his name huskily. Malcolm moaned in response, his mouth full with her breast. She was stroking her fingers through his hair and over his back. Malcolm could feel her body tremble under his touch as he sucked eagerly on her nipples. Continuing to work his lips and tongue on her breasts, Malcolm reached down with one hand to press against her crotch through her trousers. The heat pulsed from her as he massaged her with his hand, back and forth until Sarah whimpered with pleasure. Her hips moved with his hand, grinding against his touch. 

Wanting more herself, Sarah searched out his bulging erection with her hand. Running her fingers along the length of his hard shaft through his trousers, Sarah trembled as Malcolm’s lips sucked harder on her nipple. Malcolm stood up again, his hands stroking her face as he leaned in for a long lingering kiss. Sarah’s hands worked his belt open and then his trousers were undone. Her fingers gripped the waist of the trousers to tug them down past his hips leaving him in only his boxers. Free of the well-fitted trousers his cock strained against the looser boxers to tent them. Her grip was firm on his erection through the cotton fabric. 

‘Wanted you for so long, love.’ Malcolm spoke roughly as she slowly moved her hand up and down the length of his cock. ‘Show you how much I love you.’

‘Show me now, Malcolm.’ Sarah begged him with her voice and her eyes. 

Malcolm attacked her lips once more as he took her invitation to heart. His long fingers were releasing the button and zip of her trousers before slipping under the fabric over her panties. The wet heat of her pulsed under his touch. Withdrawing his hand, Malcolm stepped back slightly to look at her and then dropped to his knees before her. As if worshiping her, Malcolm took hold of her trousers and drew them down to help her get them off, removing her shoes at the same time. With only her panties left on, Malcolm leaned forward to breathe in her scent and moaned. Through the almost sheer garment, Malcolm kissed her softly. His tongue flicking out to taste her through the dampness. Sarah looked down at the sight of her lover tasting her, her hands stroking his hair. He was driving her mad with desire with his tongue and his fingers. Gripping him tighter, she urged him closer. 

Glancing upwards, Malcolm kept stroking her with his fingers. Sarah touched her fingers to his lips and groaned when he took one of her fingers into his mouth, sucking on it hungrily. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Malcolm took hold of her panties and slid them down. Free of all clothing, Sarah stood before him. He bent in again to her crotch, fingers working back and forth along her wetness to make her body tremble with pleasure. Then, his large hands cupped her buttocks and he drove his tongue between her lips to lap up her flowing juices. Sarah’s hands urged him on as they held tight to his head. 

Sarah was all too soon finding it hard to stay standing up as Malcolm expertly worked her closer to orgasm. Malcolm could sense it and got up from his knees to help her to the sofa, sitting her down on it. She stopped him from going back down to his knees with a hand to his still hidden erection. Malcolm breathed in deeply at her soft touch as she once more ran her fingers along his shaft.

Then it was her turn to work his underwear off. Slender fingers gripped the waistband and eased the boxers down, teasing them outwards past his straining cock. Malcolm kicked his trousers and boxers off along with his shoes. A long groan escaped his lips as Sarah ran her fingers lightly along the full length of his throbbing member. His mouth hung open as she continued to explore and tease him. Her hand pushed his stiff organ up against his body and then she leaned forward and drew her tongue up from the base to just under the hood. A low ‘Oh god’ reached her ears before his words were cut off by her tongue sliding wetly around the tip. Another drawn out ‘yes’ came from Malcolm as Sarah’s hand wrapped around the shaft to hold him firm while her lips went round the head and she took him in her mouth. His first reaction was to run his hands through her long hair, brushing it back out of the way. 

Her hands rested flat against his body on either side of his erection to keep him surging forward as she sucked him off. Malcolm had been incredibly aroused even before getting this far and it felt as if he were already about to explode. Her tongue was eagerly licking up whatever pre-cum leaked from his cock. ‘Love.’ Malcolm groaned, trying to pull away from her hungry lips.

Malcolm bent down to kiss her lips, tasting himself on her. Without a word, he was guiding her backwards onto the sofa, stretching out before him. Kneeling on the cushions, between her parted legs, Malcolm hovered above her before dipping to kiss her lips again. Sarah’s hands went round his body, resting on his lower back. Her fingers stroked his skin, causing his cock to quiver with pleasure. His erection pressed lightly against her as he lowered himself on top of her. Reaching down between their bodies, Malcolm took his cock in his hand and gently teased her bud with the tip of his cock, eliciting a moan from her. Her juices slicked over his engorged head. With little urging, Sarah spread herself wider for Malcolm, one leg winding around his. He waited just a brief moment before he found her center and gently eased inside her. Sarah moaned aloud, her head going back in pleasure as he filled her that first time. 

They found a natural rhythm of grinding and rocking of their bodies as they made love. Malcolm moved with long slow strokes, his buttocks squeezing and releasing as he ground into her before pulling out. Their lips crushed together in their growing passion. Sarah arched up towards his downward movement, wanting him deeper inside her. Malcolm felt her hands tugging on his short hair. Grunting now, Malcolm began to thrust faster in time with her body. His long fingers reached out to the arm of the sofa, gripping it hard to brace himself as he drove further and further into her. Sarah gasped with each passionate bucking of their bodies. 

‘Oh god… Oh god.. Saraaaah.’ Malcolm moaned through their kissing.

‘Malcolm!’ Sarah called out his name, her passion too intense to stop her own orgasm. She gripped his head tight with her fingers. Her legs both twined around him. Malcolm thrust fast now, fighting against her pulsating and tightening muscles that wanted only to entrap him deep inside her. 

‘Sarah!’ Malcolm cried out her name as he arched backwards. His body so tightly wound from his building passion released with an explosion through every single fibre of his being. Emptying himself inside his lover, it felt like it would never stop as Sarah’s own orgasm rippled through her own body, milking him dry. 

It took what strength he had left to avoid toppling on top of her with the full, dead weight of his exhausted body. Sarah was running her hands over his body helping him relax. Both of them were breathing heavily, sweat sheening them. Malcolm kissed her over and over again, more loving than hungry now. 

‘I love you, Sarah.’ Malcolm whispered as he looked into her eyes. 

Her arms went round him, resting on his shoulders. ‘Oh, Malcolm. You are my incredible lover. I’ll not want another now that I’ve found you.’  
Malcolm grinned and kissed her again. ‘I’ll never let you down, love.’ 

Their bodies were entangled together as they came down from the high of their mutual orgasm. Malcolm continued to stroke Sarah’s arm and shoulder as he gathered her in his arms and held her near. Her smile in that moment reminded him of that first time he had seen her at the airport. The love that she had once shown at the sight of Ryan was now his entirely.


	41. Chapter 41

It was weeks later when Malcolm got word that the infinity necklace was ready. By then, the process of moving in together had begun. Despite Sarah trying to push for them finding a new place together, Malcolm had managed to convince her that him moving in with her would be just fine as he didn’t have a lot of things and her place was already much bigger than his. It suited her being central to the studio and her favourite shooting sites. For him, being farther away from the paper wasn’t a major issue as he primarily just submitted his columns electronically and the University was right on the subway line. He recalled with a smile at how much kissing it had taken to get her to agree with him. Of course, she had told him that it would take a lot more kissing to cement the deal and he had agreed willingly. 

He picked it up at the jewellers and then made his way to John’s studio. ‘What brings you here, old friend?’ John was too busy working on a frame with Pedro to stop and have a coffee but could talk. Pedro was busy nailing down the edges while John held it straight. 

‘I need a favour from you.’ Malcolm stood out of the way, watching the two men work together easily. 

‘A favour? From me?’ John glanced up at Malcolm in surprise.

‘Yeah. I need you to hold on to something for me. It’s very important and I don’t want Sarah to see it. Not yet.’

‘What is it?’ John asked, not looking up from his work. 

‘It’s a gift I bought for Sarah. I want to give it to her when she graduates but now that we’re living together and almost all moved into her place entirely, I don’t have anywhere I can hide it.’

‘But this you want to hide?’ 

‘Just till her graduation.’ Malcolm took the small box out of his chest pocket. 

‘Give me a few more minutes.’ John said as the two men kept at the work. Malcolm stayed out of the way as they finished up. He missed the quick wink that John shot to Pedro as the last staple was punched into the back of the frame. Pedro shook his head with a smile but went along with John’s plan to lift the framed work off the table. The work was one of their usual prints of two naked men engaged in a passionate kiss. 

‘Oh for fucking fuck sakes!’ Malcolm turned away. ‘Fucking bastard. You know I’m not liking that shit!’

John laughed at Malcolm’s reaction. ‘Sorry, Malcolm. Couldn’t resist.’ 

‘Keep fucking trying, John. It’s never going to get you in my trousers.’ Malcolm grumbled. 

Pedro muttered something at John in Spanish before pushing to get John to help him move the large framed piece into the waiting shipping crate. Leaving Pedro to nail the crate shut, John joined Malcolm and hugged his friend. ‘Don’t hate me, Malcolm.’

‘I don’t hate you, John. Just stop trying to fucking flash me the naked bollocks.’

‘I suppose I can’t tease as much now that you and Sarah seem to be getting serious.’ John sighed slightly. ‘So, what’s this gift you need me to hide for you?’

With the subject of Sarah pushing all other thoughts from Malcolm’s head, he eased open the small box to show it to John. The silver infinity symbol rested on the deep blue velvet cushion, glinting in the studio lights. The chain was delicate and he hoped that he’d got the length right for it. ‘What do you think?”

‘Infinity. Quite a powerful thought.’

‘Because I mean it.’ Malcolm said quietly as he closed the small box. ‘Please, just until graduation day?’

‘You’ll be proposing to her.’

‘In a manner of speaking. For now, I want her to know my commitment to her.’

‘This,’ John took the box from his friend, ‘will certainly do that. Until graduation day then.’


	42. Chapter 42

Malcolm, still clean-shaven, had made a point of wearing a proper suit for the last lecture of the year. He had been told to meet with Faber directly after the class and he really had no idea how it would go. Even if there was no further extension of his lecturing position, he didn’t mind. The letter from his agent had arrived earlier in the week with the tentative agreement to publish his memoirs. His draft had already been couriered to his agent for her to do a full read-through before beginning the editing process. That he had shared with Sarah already. He still held his secret for her graduation day. In a good mood, Malcolm straightened his tie and headed to the campus.

It took a fair bit of time to escape the students after the final lecture. Many of them wanted to personally thank him for his time. Finally managing to head to Faber’s office, Malcolm arrived with profuse apologies for being late. 

‘Last classes can be like that, not to worry, Tucker.’ Faber was opening up the folder that Malcolm had seen often enough over the past year and a half. It had also gotten thicker. ‘Year end wrap up for you.’

‘Same shit I bet.’ Malcolm grinned. He’d had enough of these reviews now to know that Faber had to discuss what was being reported but was also only concerned by the serious issues. 

‘As you say, the same as ever.’ Faber closed the folder firmly. ‘There is one thing that I need to discuss with you on a serious note.’

‘What’s up?’ Malcolm asked, his tie all of a sudden feeling like it was choking him.  
‘When I was first asked by Doug at the Daily to give you a try out as lecturer I knew it would be lively having you on campus and you’ve not disappointed.’

‘I’ll never lose that reputation.’ 

‘No, you won’t. What I wasn’t expecting was how you would be received by the students and the staff here.’ Faber leaned forward, interlacing his fingers on his desk. ‘You’ve ruffled some of the tenured professors. Students are fascinated by you and the University paper has noted an increase in interest in students wanting to write for them.’

‘I had no idea.’ Malcolm looked surprised. 

Faber turned to pick up a slim folder from the right side of his desk and opened it. ‘I’ve had discussions with the University board and they’ve agreed with me.’ Faber slid out a sheaf of papers and turned it around to hand it to Malcolm. ‘I’d like to offer you an agreement of permanent tenure as Lecturer of Political Studies here at the University. The terms are standard and you can take some time to review it in detail. I’ve also included the contact information for the Professor’s Association so that they can go over details with you from their side of things.’

‘Permanent?’

‘Yes, permanent.’ Faber broke into a rare smile.

‘Fuck me.’ Malcolm looked at the terms. 

‘I’ll leave that to your lady friend.’ Faber shot back without missing a beat.

‘I’ll read it over but I’ll accept it now.’ He held out a hand and Faber grasped it, shaking hands firmly. 

Leaving Faber’s office, Malcolm couldn’t believe it. Full time lecturer. He couldn’t wait to tell Sarah. She’d been asking him about news on the position for the past two weeks. He had already rehearsed in his head what he would say to her when he gave her the necklace so he could lead up to it with his news about the position. 

Sarah had promised to attend a party that evening with her photography class mates to wrap up their class. What he looked forward to was Friday night. John had agreed to do a special exhibit of her work at her graduation. Malcolm had tried to learn what the theme would be but she had told him to be patient every time and wait for the exhibit. Leaning on John and Pedro had got him nowhere as well. So, he had to remain content with being surprised when he got there and as the evening wound down. He wasn’t about to spoil her evening with his news.


	43. Chapter 43

The alarm rang loudly waking Malcolm. ‘Wha?’ He rubbed at his bleary eyes, trying to remember why the alarm would sound. 

‘Morning, Malcolm.’ Sarah snuggled close and kissed him on his rough cheek. 

‘No more classes. Why you getting up now?’ Malcolm tried to grab her in a hug but she escaped his reach. 

‘You’re memory in the morning’s is horrid.’ Sarah laughed as she pulled the blanket off of him to wrap it around her body. 

‘Fuck me woman! You’ll have my balls turn to ice cubes!’ Malcolm grumbled as he reached around looking for the duvet to pull over him. ‘Yes, my memory is shit before I’ve had some coffee. Why are you getting up?’

‘I’m going to help get the exhibit ready for this evening.’

Trying to get warmed up again under the duvet, Malcolm turned to watch her in the washroom. ‘I can help out. I don’t know how to fucking take photos but I can be a pair of extra hands.’

‘Sweet of you, Malcolm, but you’re not allowed to help. Not until the exhibit opens tonight.’ She turned to him and blew him a kiss. ‘Nice try though.’

Malcolm let his head drop back on the pillow, sighing. She wasn’t going to give him any hints at all. He lay there, relaxing as he waited for her to finish in the washroom. By the time she finished and emerged in a bathrobe and vigourously towelling dry her hair, he was completely awake. ‘No hopes for me getting back to sleep now.’ He patted the bed and Sarah sat down by him and he took over helping to dry her long hair. 

‘You had a meeting with Faber yesterday didn’t you?’ Sarah asked.

‘I did.’

‘Go on then, tell me. Did you get the lecturer position?’

Malcolm grinned. ‘Maybe I want to tell you later.’

‘Oh no you don’t! Tell me now!’ Sarah took the towel from him and turned to face him. ‘You got it, didn’t you? I know you did. You’re grinning like the Cheshire cat!’ She gave him a playful swat in the shoulder. ‘Tell me!’

‘Yeah, I fucking got it! Permanent position!’ 

‘Oh Malcolm! That’s wonderful!’ Sarah was on him, hugging him tightly and kissing his rough cheek. 

‘Yeah, I’m going to talk to Doug I think. Maybe see if I can cut back to a bi-weekly column instead of weekly. I’ll probably have to do more of the fucking grunt work now.’

‘You’re going to be a busy boy! Any word on the publication yet?’

‘Agent was talking about mid-summer launch. They want to push it hard in the UK. May as well get the fuck up now.’

‘Good idea. And shave too. You’re getting scruffy.’ Sarah laughed at the look he shot her. ‘You don’t want that beard again do you?’

‘Maybe one day.’ Malcolm said. ‘But not today. When do you head off to the gallery?’

‘I’ll head out after some breakfast. Go shave. I’ll get the coffee on.’ Her hand ran over his cheek and then patted it softly before she left him.

Malcolm smiled and sighed. ‘Fucking hell, I love her.’


	44. Chapter 44

Once more with smooth cheeks, Malcolm spent the day on his own. He spent time talking to Doug at the paper with his proposal starting in September for his column and then a long call with his agent about his memoirs. At least it helped pass the time. Finally, it was time to head to the gallery. He’d spoken to John the day before to make sure he’d have the necklace with him and had put up with the good-natured ribbing his old friend was giving him over Sarah. 

As he got changed, opting for the waistcoat again, he felt his hands start to shake a little from nervousness. ‘This is fucking insane.’ He looked at his hands and then at his reflection in the mirror. ‘We love one another. We’re already living together. I’m just giving her a necklace.’ He finished buttoning up the waistcoat. ‘Fucking bastard. Try and fucking fool yourself and you’re not doing very well.’ He stared at his own face. ‘You are fucking proposing to the woman you love that you want to spend the rest of your life with her and no one else. You just don’t want to go down the whole fucking bullshit marriage thing again. Now, get your fucking shit together and be a fucking man with balls.’

Pep talk to himself over, Malcolm turned from the washroom and was heading out the door to join Sarah at the gallery.

Walking along the street from the subway, he could see a number of people milling around outside the gallery smoking. He recognized a few faces from Sarah’s photography group and, surprisingly, there were some of his students around as well. He nodded to them all and got stuck chatting with them briefly outside while they finished their cigarettes. When he did get away from them, he headed right in and didn’t pay attention to the front window at all. 

‘Malcolm!’ John spotted him and called out to get Malcolm’s attention. He was quickly threading his way through the crowd towards Malcolm even as he looked around to see where Sarah was at. “Malcolm.’ John reached him quickly and was reaching into his pocket to pull out the small jewelry box to slip it into Malcolm’s hand. ‘Anything else you need?’

‘Steady nerves and a stiff drink.’ Malcolm grinned. 

‘You act like you’re marrying her!’

‘Fuck me, John. I think I may as well be.’ Malcolm blushed fiercely. 

‘But not quite.’ John said. ‘Not that you would find me standing in your way.’

Malcolm placed a hand on John’s shoulder, squeezing it before shrugging and wrapping his arms around John to give him a big bear hug. ‘Thanks, John. I really do appreciate you accepting how I feel about Sarah.’

‘You may want to thank Pedro on that as well. It took a lot of late nights of talking things over with him for me to get over my own hang ups about the situation.’ John looked a bit sheepish before he continued. ‘And I think to finally realize that I have to move past some feelings I have for you.’

‘John?’ Malcolm looked quizzically at his friend.

‘I will never stop adoring you as a friend, Malcolm. But seeing you and Sarah together has made me realize that I have a partner of my own that deserves more of my heart than I’ve given him previously.’

‘Pedro?’

John nodded. ‘I hope you don’t get upset by this, but I showed him the necklace. The look on his face when he saw it… well.. it was a very meaningful night for us. I’m planning on proposing to Pedro. Somehow.’’

‘That’s… fucking fuck me, John. That’s fucking amazing!’ Malcolm was hugging John again, pounding him on the back. ‘Does he know?’

‘Not yet. It’s been a long time since I’ve been away from the gallery. So, I’m going to organize a photography trip and invite him along. I’ll be closing up the gallery while we’re away.’

‘Fuck that! Sarah and I can keep it running for you if you need to.’ Malcolm offered assistance but neither of them were able to continue their conversation as Sarah had spotted them and had joined them. 

‘There you are, you rude old men.’ Sarah teased them before hugging Malcolm tightly, kissing him lightly. ‘I’ve missed you all day, Malcolm.’

‘I gave you the chance to have me help!’

‘No! Come! You’ve probably not been able to get away from John’s attentions since you got here. Let me give you a personal guided tour of my works.’

Malcolm shrugged and followed his lover. John chuckled and went back to his usual mingling. 

‘Now, I’m not going to tell you the theme. I want you to tell me once you figure out from the photos.’ With her arm around his, Sarah led him around the gallery. One large montage was a scene of a crowd of people in Central Park. Again there were some people out of focus and others in focus. 

‘You’re really getting good at the focus / out of focus technique.’ Malcolm commented. ‘Are these little splashes of colour I see?’

‘Yes, I picked out some of the warmer elements out of the original colour image and kept them in, enhanced some as well.’ 

Leaning forward he gazed more closely at some of the images of people. After a few minutes of trying to look at individual subjects Malcolm stepped back and looked at the whole image. His large hand searched out hers to squeeze it lightly. ‘You did it then.’

‘Did what?’ Sarah asked him. 

‘Happiness.’ Was all he said. 

‘Yes.’ Sarah replied quietly before turning to him. ‘It took some time but you helped me find that in myself once more. I can see it in others. Not just the sadness or the anger. The love of life is back.’

‘Sarah… I don’t know what to say..’ Malcolm felt his heart tighten in his chest. 

‘Don’t say anything, Malcolm. Just be here with me.’ Her hand slipped around his waist to hold him close as they continued to walk around the gallery. 

They worked their way past all of the images. Often, people would come up to Sarah and congratulate her on her graduation. While others engaged Malcolm in a brief chat. One student tried to get him cornered into an interview as the ‘newest member of the educator’s staff’ for the University newspaper but Malcolm gritted his teeth. ‘This evening is for Sarah. So take your fucking questions and fuck the fuck off before I slice off your fucking bollocks, skewer them on a bamboo stick and slowly roast them over the smallest fire until they shrivel up into tiny little raisins.’ The young man quickly put away his notebook and disappeared. 

Sarah had had to bite her lip to stop herself laughing at Malcolm’s threat. Malcolm rolled his eyes at her before his smile spread across his face, making her fall in love with him once more. ‘Oh, the blackmail opportunities.’ Malcolm grunted in response. ‘What do you think, Malcolm? I was hoping you’d say yes to me hanging the main grouping up on the blank wall in the sitting room. Across from the Brooklyn Bridge print you bought.’

‘You mean the montage?’ Malcolm gestured with his thumb to the large piece they’d talked about previously.

‘No, you numpty! The main group in the front window!’

‘Oh? There’s some in the front window?’

‘Seriously, Malcolm?’ Sarah looked at him with a bit of disappointment. ‘Surely you looked at the window display.’

Malcolm felt himself redden with embarrassment. ‘No. I didn’t. Got talking to some of the chimney stacks before I came in, never looked.’

‘Always look at the front display when entering a gallery, Malcolm. I would have thought John had you trained for that already.’

‘I was distracted.’ Malcolm sounded lame.

Sarah kissed him on his cheek and then began to tug on his hand to lead him outside to look in the front window. In the cool night air, they were for a few moments, alone. With his arm around her shoulders, he hugged her close to keep her warm. There in the front window were four medium sized framed pieces. All of them were close ups of pairs of eyes. All in black and white but it was obvious to him that each pair of eyes was smiling. ‘Wait, those…’ He pointed to the third photo from the left. ‘That’s John, isn’t it?’

‘It is.’ Sarah confirmed, smiling. ‘That one,’ She pointed to the leftmost piece. ‘Is my father. I took an old photo of him that I have in a photo album of him and I.’ Then she pointed to the next one in the sequence. ‘That’s Ryan.’ Her hand tightened around Malcolm’s. ‘Then John.’

‘The last one?’ Malcolm asked, curious.

‘Look at it.’ She urged him. 

Malcolm peered at it as closely as he could and tried to figure out who it was. Then the penny dropped in his head. Her father, her godfather, her late husband… and the fourth.. him? He looked at her with a question in his eyes and then her eyes were the ones smiling. Neither of them had to say anything to confirm that he was right. Malcolm just gathered her in his arms to kiss her deeply. 

Still unbothered by anyone coming outside for a smoke, Malcolm gazed in her eyes and stroked her hair. ‘My love. My Sarah.’

‘My darling Malcolm.’ 

‘Sarah,’ Malcolm couldn’t speak for a moment then he fumbled in his pocket till his fingers clutched the jewelry box. ‘I practiced over and over in my head what I wanted to say to you, but tonight.. this.. ‘ He gestured to her work in the window. ‘Says so much more to me about how you feel and I feel so honoured to share your heart with the other men who’ve claimed it before me. I can only hope to live up to the standards that they’ve set.’

‘You already have, Malcolm.’ Her hands rested on his cheeks as she gazed into his eyes. 

‘I can do better, I know I can. And I want to show you how much more I can give you, Sarah.’ He pulled the box out and opened it, presenting it to her. ‘I want to love you, Sarah, love you forever. If you’ll allow me too.’

Sarah’s mouth dropped at the sight of the simple infinity symbol on the chain. Malcolm’s fingers trembled as he drew it out and held it for her to turn around so he could put it on her. As she turned back to face him, her fingers stroked the necklace. ‘Malcolm. I do. I do very much allow you to love me forever. Just try to stop loving me! Just try! I will never ever let you go!’

Malcolm hugged her tight, her arms around his neck as he lifted her off her feet. They kissed for a long time until Malcolm rested her on her feet once more. ‘Forever, my love.’

‘Forever.’ Sarah confirmed before taking his hand and going back inside the gallery.


	45. Epilogue

Malcolm stood looking out the windows at the gate. The months had flown by and it was going to be a close run thing to get back in time for classes in three weeks time but his agent had assured him that the book signings would only take the two weeks in 5 cities. His memoirs had been a big seller in the major European markets and in New York. They’d had the book launch party in New York a month ago and things had snowballed since then. Unfortunately, it had meant the end of his job at the Daily. He just couldn’t juggle it with his book promotion and prepping for the next year of classes. 

Sarah had been getting a lot more photography jobs through John and on her own. Thinking of her made his chest swell. He was so proud of his love. The four pieces now hung on the sitting room wall and he would catch her looking at them at times, lost in thought with a smile on her face. Sometimes she would recount whatever memory she was recalling, sometimes not. He didn’t mind. It was his arms around her in those moments and that’s what counted to him. 

Today though, standing there at the gate and watching the hubbub of the airport terminal outside, Malcolm was alone. It killed him that Sarah hadn’t been able to work her schedule free to join him on this trip. It was the first time they’ll be spending apart from one another since they had moved in together. If they’d had more time she probably could have gotten her schedule cleared but she had committed to the one job and couldn’t get out of it or reschedule it. 

He couldn’t help thinking of the past 2 and a half years. How it had all started, sitting at Heathrow waiting to fly here to New York. Now he was on his way back for a visit. He’d hardly thought of his old friends there. Malcolm had tested a few acquaintances to see if there’d be any chance of getting together with Jamie or Sam but those ideas were shot down. Fleming was still in charge and he had a long memory. But it had been reassuring to know that his book had found it’s way onto the bookshelves and desks of many at Number 10. 

The sun was angling in and shining on him. He shaded his eyes with a hand to finish watching an airplane be towed back away from the gate beside his. A long sigh escaped him. As if it were just yesterday, he recalled seeing Sarah that first time. Framed in the sunlight, her long hair, her beautiful face and body. Now, she was his. The sadness of knowing what she had to lose before he could be hers. Lost in his thoughts, he jumped as he felt a pair of arms encircling him. 

‘Surprise!’ Sarah was smiling at him.

‘What the fuck? You weren’t coming?’ Malcolm was surprised by her presence.

‘Last minute re-schedule. I got a call minutes after you had left this morning. Scrambled to get a cab and managed to get a ticket too on the same flight. I may have to buy some clothes while we’re over in Europe though. I’ve packed rather quickly and lightly.’

‘Fucking fuck me, Sarah. You have no idea how happy I am to have you here!’ His arms were around her and he was kissing her deeply, enjoying her equally eager response. 

They stood there, gazing into one another’s eyes and then Malcolm couldn’t help but laugh.

‘What’s funny?’ 

‘I’ve never told you. It was the first time I met you.’

‘We met at the gallery.’ Sarah looked bemused.

‘Before then. Months before. I was flying from Heathrow to here. Was sat waiting for my flight and I saw this beautiful woman standing and looking out at the planes. I fell in love with that beauty there and then. Never stopped thinking about her.’ Malcolm smiled at her confused look. ‘That beautiful woman was then met by her husband, hugging him close and kissing. And crushing this old man’s heart in that moment.’

‘Wait, you mean… Malcolm!’ Sarah began to piece it together. ‘You saw Ryan meet me at Heathrow? We were on our way back to Portugal.’

‘I didn’t know who either of you were. I just knew that I fell in love with you and never stopped loving you.’

Her arms went round him tightly, holding him close as her head rested on his shoulder. Malcolm held her close, his arm around her body while his one hand rested on her head, stroking her hair. 

‘No, Sarah. I’ll never stop loving you. Not ever.’


End file.
